Thankful

C.S. Lewis said "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

As Thanksgivng day approaches, I am asking the Lord to make me thankful even for the pain. Right now, I don't have any: my marriage is thriving, our adult children are serving and happy, Grace and Caleb are doing well in school, have friends and are growing in the Lord. Ministry is great. The Lord has given us a wonderful supportive family, and great friends in the states, on the field, and here in our assignment, and has provided us with everything we need and some extras that just plain bring us pleasure. Life right now is good, better than good, great. We are all healthy and all is well with our souls. I truly feel blessed and thankful, because of my circumstances, BUT...

There have been times in the far past, and recent past, and will be times in the near future and far future, when I know, after 44 years of life, that life won't feell/seem great. We all know that our circumstances change: environment/country/situations/relationships/health, can all change at a moments notice. In those times, I want to remain thankful, grateful and feel His blessings. Not just when things are going well. I sincerely want to hear His whisper, His voice, and His shouts to me, in every situation.

About this time last year is when I took my terrible fall and went through more physical pain than I thought I could endure, then back surgery, recovery. I can tell you from experience, that He shouted to me through the pain, and I was listening and hearing His voice over me. He truly does rejoice over us in singing. He is our Great Physician, Our Helper, Our comfort, Our refuge and strength. He does use those in our lives to encourage, love, bear all things, serve and care for us.

I am thankful to you, Lord, I beg You to continue to give me that sense of peace and gratefulness no matter what tomorrow brings. And give me boldness to proclaim Your greatness like a megaphone to the deaf world. I know I can't do it alone, I know more than ever how much I need You, and I desire to hear you speak to me and then through me in whatever physical or emtional pain that You ever allow into my life. Speak Lord, your servant is listening.

House Call

 

"Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up His cross, and follow Me." Mark 8:34


We are a part of a small group Bible study which is held in the home of the beautiful elderly lady, Baba Nina, and her husband, Dyed Genady. Her husband is a shut in and because of his health (and sometimes hers), they are unable to get out very often, which is the main reason we meet in their home. Neither of them can hear very so we all have to speak loudly each week. Last week, after our lesson, we were talking about the importance of sharing our faith with our friends/neighbors. The sweet Baba Nina said that she isnt able to go and share much as they have been sick. We all prayed for opportunities and talked about ways to share our faith.

Well here in our country doctors still do house visits, so guess who the Lord brought to Baba Nina's apartment this week? You guessed it a doctor. This is sort of a funny. joyful, convicting story, so I hope you find the joy, humor and even convention intended. She shared tonight that a rather young well educated physician appeared at her door and she invited him in. She said he looked terrible. He made his way to their living/bedroom, the same room, just like ours. He proceeded toward the couch and plopped down, exhausted, and obviously in need of being ministered to instead of ministering. (that was the humorous part)

She began talking to him and her faith in Christ became the center of conversation. She said that he pulled his cross out of the inside of his shirt to show her that he was a "believer". He then asked to see her cross, to which she gave the absolute best answer to this question that I have personally heard or shared in our 10 years in a predominately Orthodox country: "I don't have or need a cross, I am a living sacrifice, dying to myself and taking up my cross in my life every day." She then took a long time to share the love of Jesus Christ and the fear of the Lord, things he had never heard in his life, and sure didnt learn in his years (probably 12) of medical school. She then tried to give him a Bible, where all she had shared was written, but that he was literally shaking from fear by the time she was through, as he realized for the first time in his life that that cross hanging on his neck didn't do or mean anything when he dies and stands before a righteous judge. She saw him shaking and told him there was no need to be afraid, that he just needed Jesus to believe in Him and repent and He would forgive him and take the fear away. He calmed down, took a copy of His Word, and left promising to read it. (that was the convicting part)

Michael was overjoyed and told her that she did a wonderful thing and reminded her that last week she was concerned about who to share with, and that the Lord heard our prayers and that He brought someone to her. (that was the joyfull part)

Dear Dear Friends

Isnt it wonderful to have dear Godly friends who understand and pray !! below is part of an encouraging note from one such friend today when I asked her to pray for our oldest in the states with Swine flu/ bronchitis :

"I will be praying for Reagan,s complete healing and for protection for all others.

I understand a Mother's heart for her son. You can count on me to faithfully lift him up.

My heart goes out to you ALL. . . .

It's so incredibly difficult when you feel helpless, like there is absolutely nothing you can do.

But then all that energy and love and desperation goes into intercession before the Throne. And that is truly the best and most powerful place to be. More powerful than being by his side touching his forehead because you are asking The Great Physician to lay His Awesome Hand on your son.

Please know that I care very much and am praying."

I Love Saturdays

I love Saturdays, at least the last few. After homeschooling for the past 15 or so years, I am rarely ever home alone. When the children were small, my dream was always to just be in our home, by myself. Just to clean and listen to music and dance around my house or just be silent. For the second Saturday in a row, Michael, Caleb and Grace have gone to the church to help with the construction/work. Everyone knows I am an extrovert, but I still like to be alone sometimes, so I have really enjoyed it. Maybe I am just getting old. This is also the second Saturday in a row that we have had dinner guests. I love that too. We have lived overseas for 10 years now, and we have people over as guests and go to others as guests a lot, which prompts the question: Do Americans do this anymore, Have people over or go over to other's homes? Because if you don't you should, It is wonderful !!

Baptism Photos July 09

 

 

 

 

Baptism Photos July 09

 

 

 

 

Antioch Baptism July 09

We praise the Lord for the 16 people who were baptized in the river on a rainy day in July. We had been praying for one of the couples for almost 2 years with the believing parents. They have two sweet little girls, who will now be raised in a loving Christian home, instead of drinking, partying and fighting. Two of the older ladies are also coming to the small group in GRES, that we have been praying to become a new church. One of their sons repented a few weeks ago. They are already seeing themselves as a church, starting to take up offering, had a "church" picnic, doing evangelism in their area, and now wanting to go to a village 3 hours away to share Christ there. One of the men in the picgtures is a policeman in town. Several of the men were saved in the small rehabilitation center for alcohol and drug addicts. One of the men worked all month out at the camps for children and youth, serving Jesus with a smile every day. When you meet Jesus, your life will never be the same. He loves us and takes us where we are, but He never lets us stay there.

First Day of School

 

First Day of school, tiring but great !!!

Grace has always loved school: Sunday School, Homeschool, International School, Russian School. She has always greeted every day of her life as far as I can remember with joy and excitement and finding ways to serve others. She gives it all she's got at whatever she does, and wherever she is, she is all there.

I snuck a picture of her dozing off after class today. She even asked tonight if she could get up earlier tomorrow, so she could get more done, to which the Lord gave me the wisdom to answer "No, you need more rest!"

Lord, thank you for the example of joy, service and giving it all that you show me through my sweet girl. Help me to live my life, with the same enthusiasm, for You and for Your glory. Thank you, Lord that you know what we need when we need it, and that sometimes when we ask permission to do something that seems like a great idea, Your answer sometimes is "No,you need more rest!" Help me to truly learn day by day to rest in You, Lord.

Do Not Fear; Every day of the Year

I had an afternoon with Caleb recently and it was really fun. We played "Sorry" and I won, and WII bowling and he won. He made me take the WII fitness test and I am officially 37. 5 years younger, whoo hooo. Then i started asking him his "favorites".

favorite color: blue ; favorite book: rifles for waite ; favorite candy bar: kit kat ; favorite restaurant food: Chinese ; favorite fast food: Sonic ; favorite book of the Bible: 2 Samuel , why? because David is in it. So then I asked his favorite character in the Bible: David

This shouldnt surprise me, since he was little he has loved soldiers/army men, war games, History (especially wars/battles) and always said he wanted to be a soldier for Christ. I then asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up: Missionary, what will you major in college then: History Since he was very little, his daddy has read Bible story books to him almost every night of his life, cant tell you how many Bible story books they have gone through. The past 2 years, switched to the Bible. His favorites have always been the Old Testament (Kings, Samuel etc...)

I pray, "Oh that You would say that Caleb has a heart like David's/ YOURS, Lord" Then I got all afraid and thought about David's life, and at times what a mess it was, and how I dont want any of our children taking that path, and actually contemplated if I should pray that. (My grandmother/mother always said be careful what you pray for :) hmmm

So I been thinking and praying about that since our little "favorites" time.

I heard in a movie last night "Do not Fear" is in the Bible 365 times, I don't know if it is true or not, but Caleb quickly said, that is one "Do Not Fear" for every day of the year.

So now, I am reminded to not be afraid to pray that for Caleb, but will add, that he learn from reading David's mistakes/example and have a heart after God's heart (but without all the bad choices)

Reagan is a Senior

Reagan is now a senior in college, how can that be?? It seems like yesterday we moved him into his dorm. Well, what am I saying? Wasn't it just yesterday that we left him at kindergarten? Reagan wanted to know when we were going to leave, and when we started to leave, he asked if Bryan could stay and color too, then Bryan cried to stay with Reagan, and honestly, so did I :( Poor Michael, again, if I remember, "it was the way it should be"

When we took Reagan's training wheels off, Bryan cried for us to take his off. The only problem is that he had a tricycle. We never could get him to understand that it wouldn't work without the back two wheels. Reagan actually wanted to put his back on to keep Bryan happy, putting Bryan first, the way it should be.

As most missionaries with children answer God's call to move their families over seas, we had questions: How will they learn the language, the culture? How will we educate them? How will they do without grandparents? How will they cope with goodbyes: family/friends? Will they be ok giving up team sports? Will they ever resent being taken away from everything they know as normal? Will they like the food? How will they meet their future spouses? Will they be ok?

The day we sold and began moving out of our dream house to leave for the mission field (I remember well, June 8 1999, because in the middle of it all, we looked at each other and realized it was our 14th anniversary), I found something in a file cabinet. A second grade journal of Reagan's (written 5 years earlier)in it was a paper he wrote titled something like what I want to be when I grow up. He said that he wanted to be a missionary to guess where?? Russia. When I found it I could not believe my eyes, as it was written 4 years before the Lord even called us to full time ministry, much less foreign missions. The Lord used that to give grandparents peace about our leaving.

Later that day, we told Reagan (12) Bryan (10) that we were giving them one footlocker besides clothes or books to pack with whatever they chose. They could choose toys, memory stuff, sports stuff, pictures, whatever they wanted, even if it was rocks out of the back yard. After a couple hours I went to look in their footlockers, as they were already back outside playing with friends. Reagan had a basketball trophy and Awana Clubber of the year plaque in his, and Bryan had a baseball mitt in his. That brought me to tears.

It was as if the Lord was saying, "They are Mine, and I will take care of them. See, I have already given them My call and they are more content with leaving it all to follow me than you are. I love them more than you do, and I will provide." and He did, He does. His promises are true and precious.

Throughout the 10 years of living overseas, we have prayed for our children in every way every parent does. We have had rough spots, hard times, and hurts and scrapes, personality clashes, butted heads at times, always praying for wisdom, forgiveness, grace and mercy, and so much more...

and His Answer: "It will be the way it should be". He wants us to obey and trust Him, with our lives and if we have children, with our childrens' lives, whether it takes us around the world, or next door, from public school to homeschool (or the other way around) We must listen to His voice, obey, and then allow Him to do what He deems best, not always pleasant, or maybe not even what we think is "safe", and certainly not always comfortable, but always BEST, His Best.

Bryan is Married

 

What Joy !! June 6, 2009 Bryan and Hannah were married, what a blessing to be able to travel to Ms, then Georgia to witness, as Russians, and now we would say, "A new family created by God". Why is it that we Americans don't really say that we are a family until our first child is born? How wrong is that?

As Michael reminds me over and over again, this is how it is should be: we give them life, pray over them, guard, provide for and protect them and then let them go out on their own. (all of this knowing only God allows it all, and is giving us everything it takes to do this and His mercy is sufficient when we don't always do it right) But even knowing... knowing Bryan loves God and seeks to serve Him and others, knowing that he prayed and sought the Lord in choosing the perfect mate for him, knowing that he is ok, and that his church family is there, knowing that he is now an adult and independent in every way of us...doesn't in anyway take away the fact that this mama misses her little boy, and though it is "how it should be", and I love my life now and the lives stages/ages of our children now; I still have such mixed emotions, strange emotions, pride and joy, along with missing "the boys" (Reagan and Bryan), and missing the way it "used" to be when all our children were under our roof. And I am really getting tired of counting out 6 of everything...

Even still, I know, though I don't always feel it, that He is faithful, and He will give me just enough light for the step I am on, including seeing me through this night of missing my boys !!!

Favorite Pictures

These are some of my favorite pictures of my favorite people :)

 

 

 

 

Our Inheritance

Our ultimate Inheritance

February 2 Charles Spurgeon Strengthen My Spirit (daily devotionals) (we mistakingly read February instead of March, I know it was by no accident )

He will choose our inheritance for us. Ps 47:4

“Believer, if your inheritance is a lowly one, you should be satisfied with your earthly portion, for you may rest assured that it is the fittest for you. Unerring wisdom ordained your lot and selected for you the safest and best condition. A large ship is to be brought up the river; now in one part of the stream there is a sandbank. Should someone ask, “Why does the captain steer through the deep part of the channel and deviate so much from a straight line?” his answer would be, “Because I could not get my vessel into harbor at all if I did not keep to the deep channel.” So, it may be, you would run aground and suffer shipwreck if your Divine Captain did not steer you into the depths of affliction where waves of trouble follow each other in quick succession. Some plants die if they have too much sunshine. It may be that you are planted where you get but little; you are put there by the loving Husbandman because only in that situation will you bring forth fruit unto perfection. Had any other condition been better for you, than the one in which you are, Divine Love would have put you there. You are placed by God in the most suitable circumstances. Take up your own daily cross; it is the burden best suited for your shoulder and will prove most effective to make you perfect in every good word and work to the glory of God.”

May we carry our crosses, as HE CARRIES US, in much or little sunshine, in deep or shallow channels, in troubles, in all circumstances, in straight or crooked lines, to bring forth fruit and perfection in us and others,
For His glory, alone.

Don't 'blame' yourself, Let others do it !

FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES (Caleb STAS 2004)




I wrote this in 2003, before our first STAS:

"It seems the Lord has given me the gift of discernment/wisdom and encouragement. This is not bragging, because to be honest, I don't like "knowing and sensing" things, sometimes it makes me uncomfortable, and for many years, I didn't know what to do with this "gift".

I have become more and more convinced that our "gifts" when not completely under His Lordship can be used in ways that are not pleasing or do not bring glory to the Lord as He intends. When we are not abiding in Him or not filled with His Spirit, the very gifts and talents He has given us can be the very things that cause us to stumble, and not necessarily our "weak" areas. Satan is very crafty, so why wouldn't he try to have victory in our lives in the very area that the Holy Spirit has gifted us with. This obviously catches us more off guard than the areas where we already know we are weak as we are more mindful of them. But our gifted areas, well, now that is another story.

For example, In my own life, it has taken me almost 20 years to figure out that even when I am not filled with the Holy Spirit, and walking closely with the Lord that the gift is still there. I am able to discern certain things in myself and in others, and have all this wisdom, that when unchecked and not anointed can turn into something less than a present, but a critical, holier than thou, condemning, or not so encouraging attitude. Some of you might be thinking, "Patsy doesn't seem like that at all", but then others who know me inside and out are saying, "Yep, that's her, finally she realizes it". HAHAHA But seriously when I am not filled with His Spirit and listening to His voice, this is who I am capable of being, to myself mostly, then those closest to me.

So, what He has taught me, is that when I discern or have wisdom about something, it is an invitation to pray/ intercede not to criticize, condemn, or put down, being discouraging and not encouraging. I went through a time when I thought that it was actually a curse and not a gift, and asked why I had to "know" things. Not long ago, I was speaking with a couple of friends of mine (Teri and Lori) about this very thing, and it prompted me later to go to the Lord about it. So later that evening, I asked the Lord why He gave me that gift. He gave me His answer. He gave me the gift of discernment and wisdom to glorify Him, and to encourage others and criticizing or faultfinding myself or those closest to me does not bring glory to Him, so I continued to ask what I was supposed to do with it. His answer was simple: "Pray". He gave me the discernment so I can go before Him and intercede about the situation, or other people or even myself. Wow. Now this may not be something new for you, but it was life changing for me. The discernment He gives to me (seemingly before my husband or others) is an invitation to pray and encourage, not so I can point it out to myself and others.

So to sum up my little whatever you want to call it, after the Lord showing me this, and I was teaching our youngest, Caleb about bragging one day, after he made an awesome hit playing baseball. I told him that the Bible teaches that we shouldn't brag on ourselves, but to let others do it. A couple of days later, while I was having one of my "faultfinding" moments toward myself, out loud of course, Caleb said, "Mommy, remember what you said the other day, don't "blame" yourself, let others do it." Well, he sort of misunderstood my point, but it was funny anyway. So now whenever I have this overwhelming discernment, I will try to remember to take it to Him in prayer rather than finding fault, and ask Him to show me how to encourage, and not 'blame' myself or others."

I was going through personal notes when I found this and was surprised that it was over 5 years now. With the Lord's help, I have been practicing this, and am amazed at the difference He and prayer, has made in my response to myself and my family members, but I am still so far from being there... I was surprised that it was "so long" ago as it seems like yesterday, but it was interesting to see how the Lord is so loving and gracious and patient with us...I am nothing without HIM...It will be interesting to see the next 5 years,by His grace I pray i will be more conformed to HIM :) Praise the Lord, He is still working on me!!

Prepare the way of the Risen Lord

Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble

Did you feel the mountains tremble?
Did you feel the oceans roar?
When the people rose to sing of,
Jesus Christ the Risen One.

Did you feel the people tremble?
Did you feel the singers road?
When the lost began to sing of,
Jesus Christ the Saving One.

And we can see that God You're moving,
A mighty river through the nations
Where young and old return to Jesus,
Fling wide you heavenly gates,
Prepare the way of the Risen Lord!

(chorus)
Open up the doors and let the music play.
Let the streets resound with singing.
Songs that bring your hope,
And songs that bring your joy.
Dancers who dance upon injustice.

Do you feel the darkness tremble?
When all the saints join in one song,
And all the streams join as one river
To wash away our brokenness.

And here we see that God You're moving.
A time of jubilee is coming.
And young and old return to Jesus
Fling wide you heavenly gates,
Prepare the way of the Risen Lord!

Jesus Lover Of My Soul

A couple of things I love to do when I have my quiet times is to take Scripture and turn it into a personal prayer, and (since I don't have our children's gift of singing) to take my old green Baptist Hymnal (1956 edition) given to us by the church Michael pastored in 1999, in Yazoo MS... and go through and read them as my prayer and praise to Him.

Here is the one I stumbled across (yeah right) the Lord led me to today:

Jesus Lover of My Soul (words Charles Wesley (1707-1788)

Jesus Lover of My Soul, Let me to Thy bosom fly.
While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high:
Hide me o My saviour hide, till the storm of life is past;
Safe into the haven guide; o receive my soul at last

Other refuge have I none; hangs my helpless soul on thee;
Leave O leave me not alone, still support and comfort me:
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head with the shadow of Thy wing.

Though, O Christ, art all I want; more than all in Thee I find;
raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick, and lead the blind:
just and holy is Thy name, I am all unrighteousness;
false and full of sin I am, Thou are full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within:
Thou of life the fountain art, freely let me take of thee;
spring Thou up within my heart, Christ to all eternity.

AMEN. (that means let it be in case you didn't know)