Sunday, December 28, 2008

I SURRENDER; I CHOOSE JOY

15 years ago, my brother was killed. At that time, I was learning to study my Bible for the first time in my life. I had just begun Precepts (inductive Bible Study) , and the first study was from Philippians: Rejoice No matter What. I remember telling my friend, Joy, at the time that I was learning so much, but was a little afraid, because I knew that if He was teaching me so much about having joy despite my circumstances, then that meant, that someday soon, my circumstance might change, I would have to not only learn it, but live it. One week later, my brother was murdered. I clung to Him and all He had to teach me through it. He truly lifted me above it all and carried me through. It was a horrible hard time for me and my family, but He truly taught me joy in it, and day by day our family allows Him to heal us.

I have fallen back on that time many times since in other trials and losses, and what He taught me about Himself. He is enough, He is in control, He is faithful. He can be fully trusted. It seems now, He is reminding me again, i must be slow :) I have been in some pretty bad pain for the past 3 wks, due to a fall on the ice. I have experienced many trials and losses in my 43 yrs, but never this kind of physical pain, dependence on others for the simplest tasks. I am asking Him to teach me all He wants to teach me through this and as He always has His way, He is teaching me much, mostly to surrender to Him every area of my life, and choose joy no matter what. I remember Him teaching me out of Habakkuk during that difficult time when my brother was killed, and several times since, and now He is giving it to me once again.

Without pain, of all kinds, shapes, sizes, I don't think we can truly know His joy, so I surrender to it, to Him, and ask Him to give me His strength and His joy, despite my circumstances, and He is. I am content and joyful, and this kind only comes from Him. I just listened to a sermon about Jacob wrestling with God. I found it interesting that God, who could have overpowered and 'taken him' immediately, chose to be gentle and patient until Jacob surrendered. I also found it quite humorous that he finally struck his hip socket (this is where the majority of my pain has been) I am slow, but not that slow haha...

Ok, God I am listening. I am not sure everything you are telling me, but I do want to surrender, to give in to whatever You want for me. I don't want to be at odds with Your plan for me. I know You want everything in my life that I might be clinging to, including our children, our marriage, the ministry You have blessed us with, or any selfish desires or things that so easily entangle me, and I want to willingly surrender them all to You. That is the desire of my heart. Thank you for being gentle and patient with me. Show me Your will and help me to obey You above all else, and have joy in spite of it all. Thank you Lord that even:

Though the fig tree does not bud (though we can't be with family in the states during the holidays)
and there are no grapes on the vines (though there are no new believers/new churches to report)
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food (though we couldn't find turkey or ham over the holidays)
though there are no sheep in the pen (though our children are becoming more independent and growing up and leaving home)
and no cattle in the stalls (though I am in physical pain and unable to do all I want to in serving my family)

(that even if You don't provide a way for us to stay in this place You have brought us to, knit our hearts to and given us such an amazing ministry in...)

yet I will rejoice in the Lord
I will be joyful in God my Savior
The Sovereign Lord is my strength
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer
He enables me to go on the heights


Habakkuk 3: 17-19 (italics mine)

May the joy of Christ be ours this Holiday season.

Joyful Christmas and Joyful New Year to all as we all learn what it means to truly surrender to Him, and choose joy.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

LOVE IS ....

Love IS: I was the youngest of six children and we lived in a 3 bedroom house, there were 4 girls and 2 boys, and i was the youngest. My oldest sister married when I was 7, which left 3 girls. My older two sisters shared a room, with a small bed and i got the couch in the den...every night, i would get up in the night and wander into their room and one or the other would scoop me up and put me in the bed with them. I just loved that, made me feel all cuddly and snuggly. They sacrificed, they gave up their own comfort that's what love is.

Love is...a husband going all over the city looking for a heating pad, because he feels it will help his wife's back, when he himself has a cold.

Love is...a 6th grader washing and peeling and cutting potatoes while watching his Bible class DVD, without being asked, because his mother can't sit in a chair.

Love is...A college student setting aside money for Lottie Moon Christmas offering.

Love is...A grandmother hanging mistletoe in her house for her grandson and new fiance to find.

Love is...Brothers going to a nursing home to give out fruit.

Love is...a husband leaving his new wife, to serve our country in Iraq, missing all the holidays with her and his family.

Love is...a teenage age girl making her little brother hot chocolate because he is having a long day of school.

Love is...a grandson and his fiance spending the weekend with Mamaw, helping her drag out all her decorations/tree and decorating the whole house with her.

Love is...a church, supporting their pastor when he was not able to pastor for 3 months because of an accident.

Love is...a cosmetologist cutting cancer patients hair or styling wigs for free.

Love is...A grandmother going all over the place to look for a certain game for her grandson overseas, and she has an eye infection.

Love is...a wife showing amazing courage, strength and faith in her husbands accident and as he continues to recover.

Love is...A niece going to be with a widow on the anniversary day of her son's death, taking her to the cemetery to put out Christmas flowers, and spending the night with her, so she wasn't alone.

Love is...a pastor's wife teaching Bible studies at the nursing home.

Love is...a group of RA's making bird houses to sell for Lottie Moon Missions offering.

Love is...a sister giving a massage, pedicure, manicure, hair cut, the day before her sister returns to the mission field.

Love is...A brother buying his sister a plane ticket so she could spend thanksgiving with his family and their mother.

Love is...a note, a smile, a prayer given at just the right time by a special friend.

No matter what your love language is or how you show or know love, the fact of the matter is that LOVE IS SACRIFICE, LOVE IS GIVING, LOVE IS PUTTING OTHERS BEFORE OURSELVES, LOVE IS FREE, BUT IT ALWAYS COSTS.

LOVE IS...GOD GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

IDENTITY

Identity

I have spent a lot of time lately learning and teaching Grace about identity. To sum it all up: If we place our identity, or our security in any thing or anyone (even good) that can be taken or stripped away, then we will always be on the edge of a false identity or security, as there is nothing that this world has to offer that will give us a true identity or security, besides Jesus Christ.

Just a few things that we can place false identity or false security in:

success
numbers (fruit counting)
Man's praise
Physical appearance
Talents
Ministry/Service
Gifts
What others think or say
Athletic abilities
Church
Job Title or occupation
Speaking gifts (including language)
Roles: Being a mother, wife, missionary
Nationality
Freedom (religious or otherwise)
Academic abilities or knowledge
Wealth
Government
Our family (parents, children, parenting etc...)
A pastor or leader
Material possessions

Every one of these things and I am sure many more, can be stripped or taken away, or disappoint and let us down, at any given season in our life, and leave us on a false edge of security.

JESUS. He will always remain, He is faithful, we can place our security and identity in Him, He can be trusted. He is faithful. He will never leave us or forsake us.

He is who He says He is, and we are who He says we are.

Lord, please help me to find my identity in You and You alone. Help me to truly be thankful and content with who I am in You. Help me to see any talents, roles, job titles, gifts, people etc., and even trials in my life as opportunities to tell others about You, and to bring glory to You, not to give me my identity, so that if and when i am stripped of everything, I will be content with You, Lord. You are worthy and you are enough.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Where's The Beef



It is December 2nd, I can't believe it. Reagan and Bryan will be here in just 19 days and we are all so excited.

I thought I would post a picture of what I saw out my window the other day. We live in an apartment building with only 10 floors as opposed to 21, where we living on the 20th floor. Now we live on the 2nd. It is so much better because there is a soccer field right in front. Caleb can go out and play and I can see and yell at him through the window. (not like yell at him, but for him to come in) haha... Anyways, Caleb came running into the Living room the other day and said that we had to go and look out the Kitchen window. So we all went running. There was a man getting a whole side of beef out of his trunk and hanging it by a rope. People were coming from every direction to get their cuts. I wish I had thought to get a picture right then. I did remember and got this one instead, this was after someone had chosen theirs and had their ax, cutting it smaller to take inside. Anyway, i thought it was pretty neat and thought you might think so too.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Tithing Taters

Left: village life

Michael got to go out to the village to preach again today, after our regular service from 10:30 to 2:30. I was disturbed after hearing about the frantic shoppers....black friday or something like that, I call it greed and discontentment...they got the black part right...but now after Michael's story today, I am encouraged and blessed. We had the privilege to see something we had never seen, and rarely hear in the news: giving, not taking, sacrifice and not greed. The people in the villages here in Siberia, in our region, are poor, most don't have an income, only the vegetables they grow. For the second time this month one of the believers tithed their potatoes to the Lord and sent them by Michael back to the church. Lena's husband, Velodya: like Nina's husband, Dima a couple of weeks ago, who are not yet believers , loaded 4 huge bags of potatoes into the van, joyfully. Oh Lord, make me more content, more joyful, more giving.

"You say, 'If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.' You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled." C H Spurgeon

Saturday, November 22, 2008

UNCLASPED HANDS


Our family spent most of July, Aug, and Sept in the U.S. We were privileged to share in 15 Southern Baptist Churches of our past year's service in Siberia. We left our second oldest, Bryan,for college, celebrated with our oldest, Reagan, in his full time surrender to Christian service, and in Bryan's engagement, enjoyed a second honeymoon-a Christian cruise, held and beheld a beautiful and a handsome new great niece and nephew (and another coming soon), enjoyed alot of family time, reunited with old friends, made new friends, and endured 2 of the hardest heart aches of my life: losing my dear friend, Teri, very unexpectedly, and seeing my brother in law, Steve, my sister, Donia and their children endure a life threatening accident, Both of which have changed my life. It was hard to leave my mama, after losing my daddy just a year ago, and to leave our two oldest sons there in college, but I left them and they sent us with unclasped hands.



Oh, Lord, give me unclasped hands which symbolize my willingness to receive all You choose to give, and give up all You choose to take, receiving and giving, as an act of worship and praise to you.

In Memory of my sweet dacha sister chick, Teri Tarleton, July 4, 1959 - July 28, 2008, who lived a life of unclasped hands.

Even the fairest of petals must fall.

"See the flower in maturity. The calyx hands have unclasped utterly now. They have folded themselves back, past all power of closing again upon the petals, leaving the golden crown free to float away when God's time and wind come." Lilias Trotter (Parables of the Cross / Parables of the Christ Life)

Where does my help come from? Psalms 121


Psalm 121: 1-7

I lift up my eyes to the hills– where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip– he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you– the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm– he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.