FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES (Caleb STAS 2004)
I wrote this in 2003, before our first STAS:
"It seems the Lord has given me the gift of discernment/wisdom and encouragement. This is not bragging, because to be honest, I don't like "knowing and sensing" things, sometimes it makes me uncomfortable, and for many years, I didn't know what to do with this "gift".
I have become more and more convinced that our "gifts" when not completely under His Lordship can be used in ways that are not pleasing or do not bring glory to the Lord as He intends. When we are not abiding in Him or not filled with His Spirit, the very gifts and talents He has given us can be the very things that cause us to stumble, and not necessarily our "weak" areas. Satan is very crafty, so why wouldn't he try to have victory in our lives in the very area that the Holy Spirit has gifted us with. This obviously catches us more off guard than the areas where we already know we are weak as we are more mindful of them. But our gifted areas, well, now that is another story.
For example, In my own life, it has taken me almost 20 years to figure out that even when I am not filled with the Holy Spirit, and walking closely with the Lord that the gift is still there. I am able to discern certain things in myself and in others, and have all this wisdom, that when unchecked and not anointed can turn into something less than a present, but a critical, holier than thou, condemning, or not so encouraging attitude. Some of you might be thinking, "Patsy doesn't seem like that at all", but then others who know me inside and out are saying, "Yep, that's her, finally she realizes it". HAHAHA But seriously when I am not filled with His Spirit and listening to His voice, this is who I am capable of being, to myself mostly, then those closest to me.
So, what He has taught me, is that when I discern or have wisdom about something, it is an invitation to pray/ intercede not to criticize, condemn, or put down, being discouraging and not encouraging. I went through a time when I thought that it was actually a curse and not a gift, and asked why I had to "know" things. Not long ago, I was speaking with a couple of friends of mine (Teri and Lori) about this very thing, and it prompted me later to go to the Lord about it. So later that evening, I asked the Lord why He gave me that gift. He gave me His answer. He gave me the gift of discernment and wisdom to glorify Him, and to encourage others and criticizing or faultfinding myself or those closest to me does not bring glory to Him, so I continued to ask what I was supposed to do with it. His answer was simple: "Pray". He gave me the discernment so I can go before Him and intercede about the situation, or other people or even myself. Wow. Now this may not be something new for you, but it was life changing for me. The discernment He gives to me (seemingly before my husband or others) is an invitation to pray and encourage, not so I can point it out to myself and others.
So to sum up my little whatever you want to call it, after the Lord showing me this, and I was teaching our youngest, Caleb about bragging one day, after he made an awesome hit playing baseball. I told him that the Bible teaches that we shouldn't brag on ourselves, but to let others do it. A couple of days later, while I was having one of my "faultfinding" moments toward myself, out loud of course, Caleb said, "Mommy, remember what you said the other day, don't "blame" yourself, let others do it." Well, he sort of misunderstood my point, but it was funny anyway. So now whenever I have this overwhelming discernment, I will try to remember to take it to Him in prayer rather than finding fault, and ask Him to show me how to encourage, and not 'blame' myself or others."
I was going through personal notes when I found this and was surprised that it was over 5 years now. With the Lord's help, I have been practicing this, and am amazed at the difference He and prayer, has made in my response to myself and my family members, but I am still so far from being there... I was surprised that it was "so long" ago as it seems like yesterday, but it was interesting to see how the Lord is so loving and gracious and patient with us...I am nothing without HIM...It will be interesting to see the next 5 years,by His grace I pray i will be more conformed to HIM :) Praise the Lord, He is still working on me!!
