Rotten Words

Ephesians 4:29 (NASB)
"Let no unwholesome (rotten) word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word that is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear."

We are reading through Ephesians as a family right now and last nights reading brought back a childhood memory/lesson that I learned the hard way.

My mother is the God-wisest woman I know. Seriously, with less than 8th grade education (she tells us all the time that though she attended 8th grade it was an absolute waste)It so happens that we homeschool and all our kids skipped 8th grade too haha) Mama grew up in a home with 12 brothers and sisters, during the Great Depression. By the way, she says that they didnt know there was a great depression, they lived the same as they always did.

I am seriously considering writing a book someday of all her sayings and stories of her wisdom. I truly believe she is the wisest woman in the world. I am so blessed that she is my mother.

Ok, back to the story. I was 8 and my brother, Keith, was 10. As best I remember, we were doing chores. On a side note, for all you "modern" readers: In my family, in South Mississippi, we didnt get allowance or get paid for chores. But we did get all sorts of wonderful privileges like food, water, a comfortable home, an education, clothing, bed, to be part of a family, a strong work ethic, responsibilities, and stuff like that. Our "chores" consisted of being expected to do what we were told to do, when we were told to do it, without grumbling, and doing it with a "Yes, Ma'am; Yes, Sir". We often heard, "If it is worth doing, it is worth doing right (everything they told us to do was definitely worth doing), and one of my favorites HAHAHA... "Don't half-a@@ do anything".

On this particular day, Keith and I were told to fill up some empty milk jugs. Our water came from a well/spring and sometimes it froze up, so we always had to have plenty of water jugs. So, we were behind the house where the water faucet is located filling up empty milk jugs. We got into some sort of argument (I can't for the life of me remember what started it, but since he is not here to defend himself, I will take the blame). The argument involved lots of "name callings" some not so rotten, others very very rotten. For several minutes we took turns calling each other names (dirty names). After all was said and done, we went back into the house, best friends again.

Then, to our surprise, Mama sent us to her room to wait on the bed. If you don't know what "wait on the bed" means, you have been deprived. We couldn't imagine what we had done. We waited with great anticipation for what seemed like forever. Then we heard her coming down the hall.

It seems we had forgotten, to our horror, that the window above the kitchen sink (which is always open) is located just above the outdoor water faucet.

We waited for the belt, which never appeared. Instead, the wise woman, told us that she heard all the things we said. She lectured us a few minutes about name calling and how we were supposed to love one another and blah blah blah (no disrespect intended) Then, she did the unspeakable, the unthinkable, the unimaginable. She told each of us to take turns using those same words and call "her" those names, our precious mother. We pleaded and cried for a spanking instead, and pleaded and cried, as the words to our mother, slipped out of our mouths. When she felt we had had enough, she hugged us and told us that if it was that hard to call her those names, it should be that hard to call each other those names. Some lessons hurt to learn. A spanking or tongue lashing (though we often got our share of those) didn't go near as far as that wise discipline.

To this day, I remember the shame. Does the shame make me feel bad about myself or have a low self esteem? NO WAY. It makes me mindful of how words can hurt, can never be taken back, and how we are accountable for what we say. Sometimes, we should just plain be ashamed of ourselves for the things we say to each other, and do something about it !! Another great way to hold our tongues is to imagine the person we respect most hear us talk like that, or getting up in front of a huge church congregation and spouting them out. Kinda makes ya'll want to learn to control that flapper, huh?