Thursday, April 12, 2012

HE IS WITH YOU

Reagan and Bryan will both be graduating from William Carey University in Hattiesburg, MS on May 12, 2012 –

I tell you no mama could be any prouder of her boys that this one. They continually amaze me, both of them, for different reasons and in different ways, as different as they are, but they amaze me.

College Graduation - What does it mean: for the Parent, for the graduate, for the family? I have been trying to wrap my mind and heart around it for some time now. How important is it? To God, I mean? Trying to convince myself that it is ok that that we would not get to be there. We have known since before our furlough that it was not going to work out for us to be able to return in May. Both Reagan and Bryan have told us at different times through their college years, of us not being there for different events or holidays or birthdays, that it is ok, that it isn’t that big of a deal, that they want us to be obedient, that we are where we need to be etc…

Each of them separately, during this last furlough,knowing their mama, talked with their Dad, about talking to me and helping me realize that their feelings would not be hurt, and they would not carry any lifelong scars from our (especially my) not being at their Graduations, that it was OK, not because they have heard me whine or complain, but because they know my heart.




Besides the boys’ graduation, Grace returns from Africa the middle of May, and her special Sword Ceremony for FUSION is in May. When we said our “see you later's” at the airport, as she was going to Africa, she knew we would not be able to return to the states for her return or for her ceremony. She knew that it would be hard for me, so she wrote me the sweetest note. We already knew that she was pretty sure that she was not going to return to Russia for the summer, so we had no idea when we would be able to see her again.





You see, I am the kind of mama, as I think most Mama’s are, that wants to be a part of everything they do as they grow up. I just want to “be there”. I get so much joy in watching them do anything that they enjoy or that brings them joy. When they were younger, and in our home, I didn’t want to miss a thing, and honestly, by the Grace of God, as He knows my heart (He gave it to me) I have not missed many things. I kept calendars and baby books updated for all of our kids and make a big deal about everything they are interested in. I am a cheerleader at heart, I love cheering them on, it is my greatest hobby.

There are times during the past few years and especially the last few months that I have asked questions to God and in my heart: How important is it to be there? I am not much of a people-pleaser in my older years, but I have wondered what our kids think, what others think about us not being there, not being close by while they are in college, not being there for them on weekends and holidays? What kind of parent misses college graduation?

All these questions swim endlessly through my heart and mind, as Satan has tried to accuse me and make me feel unmerited guilt. BUT God has given me His answers, He always gives His answers. He has given me His peace with every question, along with contentment and the realization that while it is important, and it is a big deal, a huge accomplishment, it isn’t THE BIGGEST DEAL. He is the biggest deal. His ways are higher and greater than our ways, and being obedient is better than sacrifice. He directs our path and works all things out according to His great plan and for our good and His glory. He has assured me that our children (even the grown ones) are HIS.

REAGAN, BRYAN AND GRACE: It took a lot of maturity, responsibility, discipline, focus, perseverance, trust, hard work, patience, stick-to-it-iveness, sweat, tears, resolve, guts, money, courage, commitment, time, strength, that you never even knew you had, and tons and tons of prayers from you, us and others; it took your obedience, and ultimately it took great faith, trust and dependence on God from each of you, and a whole lot of His grace for each of you to accomplish all that you have in the past 5 years, 4 years, and 1 year. One of my favorite sayings, that describes all three of you, that is a long standing joke in my family, which stems from an interview from a famous athlete that Uncle Keith and I heard on television one day over 20 years ago…..YOU WERE “DETERMINATED” (I guess the guy was trying to combine determined and dedicated). Through it all you haven't been selfish, or made us feel as though we have abandoned you. Just the opposite, you have been our greatest supporters, encouragers and prayer warriors. I admire each one of you. REAGAN, BRYAN AND GRACE, YOU ARE THE GUTSIEST, BRAVEST AND MOST COURAGEOUS THREE PEOPLE I KNOW AND I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR MAMA. WAY TO GO, REAGAN, BRYAN AND GRACE, WAY TO GO! I AM SO PROUD OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS, AND SO PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU ARE BECOMING. I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER STOP PRAYING FOR YOU AND CHEERING YOU ON, NO MATTER HOW OLD I OR YOU GET. WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU. WITH ALL MY LOVE, AND FOR HIS GLORY, MAMA


For our kids it took a great deal more than for TAK’s. I am not fond of labels, but since people insist on using them for our kids “homeschoolers and MK’s” then I will create one of my own… typical American kids. For our kids, they had to learn a lot of new things like learning to live in America, relearning the American culture, I’m sure they are still learning to some degree, getting to know their relatives again, and in a different way, going to red neck funerals and weddings HAHAHA…getting used to being “an American” completely out of their comfort zones; and all this while being far away from home, siblings and parents for the first time, and not getting the choice of going home for the weekend, for holidays or birthdays or spring breaks or summer breaks. For them it was learning to adjust to “college life” and “adulthood” like all kids their age, except without their parents nearby, learning to take the initiative and taking care of all the things that some parents take care of for their college age kids. But they were not and will never be alone. He has been, is and will continue to be with them, I have His endless promises on that. He has, is, and will continue to watch over them. He has, is and will continue to guide them, whether, we can be there for them for everything or not.

"Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge." Psalms 62:8 NIV

Lord, I have come to believe and trust you. I realize that I do not have to understand You or Your ways completely to completely trust You. You are The Holy One, and You are the only One I can go to Who has the words of Eternal life. (my prayer from John 6:66-69

1 comment:

The 4 Sullivans said...

WOW!!! You are amazing!!! Your kids are amazing!!! God is truly amazing!!! Thank you for reminding me to be "fully" here with my kids today. Thank you for being an example that our m career does not have to end when our kids leave for college...even though I am fully planning on retiring in 10 years :-). I love you and can't wait to give you a big hug in Greece!!!