I was reading a blog today written by an adult MK and she was talking about all the transitions, moves, and goodbyes that a missionary family, specifically an MK experiences. It got me to thinking back and reflecting on our “mission trip” (as a local MS paper put it when we left for the field in 1999, over 11 years ago)
In August we will have lived 12 years on the mission field. While we have only moved 3 times in those 12 years, there have been many changes and adjustments due to our mission work, and lots and lots of sad goodbyes, though I prefer to call them “see you laters”.
We moved to the mission field (Russia) when our oldest son, Reagan, was 12, our son Bryan was 10, our daughter, Grace was 6 and our youngest son, Caleb was 2. Michael and I had been married a little over 14 years, and we were 33 and 34 years old.
We left a very close knit large family on both sides. They were very supportive and encouraging about our call, which to this day has been a real blessing in our lives. All total there were 2 sets of grandparents, one living great grandparent, 10aunts and uncles and 14 first cousins, a score of other relatives and not to mention loving church members/friends that we and our children left behind.
I can’t even tell you how many people saw us off at the airport our first time leaving Jackson MS. The tears could have filled up a small pond, I’m sure.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was most definitely sick. I thought it might be nerves, but it ended up being a stomach virus. It began on the plane and lasted through a couple of airports/layovers, and several walk-by throw up visits to garbage cans all along the way. I left Mississippi with dreams of leaving a mark on the world; and that I did, in every airport terminal along the way. It was the first of many times my “missionary halo”, as I like to call it, would be stripped off and thrown down. Yet somehow, we succeeded in making every connection, and after a long hot ride in an un air conditioned van, we ended at our home for the next 5 weeks, the international learning center. After a couple of days, I was feeling better. Our oldest would battle bronchitis the entire 5 weeks, and our other children would also catch every virus humanly possible, and each were given no less 14 vaccinations to prepare us for whatever else we might face when arriving to our field of service. Somewhere along the way maybe after 3 or 4 times, our kids would realize when we picked them up early on Fridays from class, that the weekend would be tainted by fever and irritability from shots and somehow after the first or second shot, the cute little balloons and stickers didn’t mean much. We laugh now and say our ILC experience was just the culture shock we needed to prepare for overseas living. Despite all that, we were so excited and not the least bit hesitant or unmoved from the passionate call to go to Russia. We were being prepared and trained and we were excited. It was so encouraging to meet other like minded people/families.
We and our children bonded very quickly with other missionaries and other MK’s. I mean really, who couldn’t relate to a group of adults/kids who had all the same shots, sold their homes, all their belongings in garage sales, left behind everything “normal” they had ever known, as well as their culture, language, family/friends/church, packed everything they had left to their names in black footlockers, which had to weigh less than 70lbs each, and a back pack, not having a clue where there were going, where they would live, what they would eat.
Though we only moved 3 times, which is minimal for most missionaries, we had many changes, transitions, and the worst part goodbyes. I calculated that out of 12 years, we returned back to the states a total of 8 times, equaling right at 2 years. 1 yr and 4 months of that time was stateside assignments (formerly known as furloughs). In our first 1 year STAS, we shared in 50 churches and over 52 times, including conferences and GA/RA camps as a family. We went to Disney World, had vacations with and spent a lot of time with both sides of our family, taught our oldest how to drive. The kids played summer sports, attended camps, and all 4 kids homeschooled that year as well. It was amazing, and crazy, but after a year, we were all ready to return to the field. 4 months of the 1y 4 mo time, we used our yearly 30 day vacations, one for Christmas after being on the field 2 yrs, 30 days for Bryan’s wedding, and 30 days for Reagan’s wedding, we took every opportunity to share in churches during those days. 4 months of that time was spent in the states for security/safety/visa reasons (our family refers to that time as “exile”). During exile we were unable to speak in churches or contact friends/relatives, other than minimal visits with immediate family or to stay in the same place for very long. 2 weeks after returning to the field, my daddy had a massive stroke, so we took our 30 day vacation to return for last days with him and his funeral.
Right at the 12 year mark in August, we will be returning to the states again, this time to leave our third child, Grace for college. I am doing a new Precepts Bible study - Joshua (conquering your enemies) right now (I highly recommend it , by the way) I read again about the 12 stones placed in the Jordan river by a leader from each of the 12 tribes … Why?? So that when their children and future generations of their children asked what they meant, they were to remember and tell them of all the things God had done (if you don’t know then read Joshua 4:21-24, so all the people of the earth would know the mighty hand of the Lord and fear the Lord God forever.
I cannot begin to tell you all the Lord has done in my life, my family’s life, and the lives of others we have met along this journey. I have only done 3 lessons, but I already see how the Old Test and the journey of “the sons of Israel” and mine match up (at least spiritually speaking) I can tell you briefly that He has fought lots of enemies (seen/unseen), He has loved me without fail, shown grace /forgiven me, and given me grace to forgive, He has rolled away His reproach from me, dried up waters before me so that I could walk across on dry land (protection and provision) He has given me peace, wisdom, kept all of His promises, allowed me to see His mighty hand at work, and through every trial, He has never forsaken me. He is my life, my shield, my protector, my redeemer, my defender. He wants to be that for every person He created. I pray that every person reading this has begun the journey, and remembers to pass on all the Mighty hand of the Lord done in your life to your children/others.
1. Creation (my birth)
2. Slavery (recognize and admit I was born a sinner, a slave to sin)
3. Liberation (accepted Jesus death as payment for my sin, repent and believe at age 12-- there is that number again )
4. Journey (study, pray, grow, persevere, obey, love, serve, give, live for Him, tell others)
5. Taking possession of the land that God promised (eternal home in heaven with Jesus, my Jesus)
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
A "Gem" of a site
Found a gem of a site today, I am enjoying checking it out:
http://www.gracegems.org/
I cant personally say I have read/and or agree with everything on there, but like what I have read so far.
I especially like the "family section"
Here is one gem I found there today, that I particulary like and totally agree with:
How to Make a Child into a Delinquent in 12 Easy Steps
(This list is thought to have been prepared over fifty years ago by a police captain.)
1. Begin at infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
2. When he picks up bad language, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute.
3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one, and then let him "decide for himself".
4. Avoid using the word "wrong". It may develop a guilt feeling. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around: books, shoes, clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.
6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized—but let his mind feast on garbage.
7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your child. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.
8. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?
9. Satisfy every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
10. Take your child's part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are prejudiced against your child.
11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him!"
12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.
check it out and tell me what you think ??
http://www.gracegems.org/
I cant personally say I have read/and or agree with everything on there, but like what I have read so far.
I especially like the "family section"
Here is one gem I found there today, that I particulary like and totally agree with:
How to Make a Child into a Delinquent in 12 Easy Steps
(This list is thought to have been prepared over fifty years ago by a police captain.)
1. Begin at infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
2. When he picks up bad language, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute.
3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one, and then let him "decide for himself".
4. Avoid using the word "wrong". It may develop a guilt feeling. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around: books, shoes, clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.
6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized—but let his mind feast on garbage.
7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your child. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.
8. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?
9. Satisfy every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
10. Take your child's part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are prejudiced against your child.
11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him!"
12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.
check it out and tell me what you think ??
Thursday, January 13, 2011
DO YOUR KIDS RESPOND TO THE REWARD SYSTEM ??
Recently I have been filling out medical questionairres for our insurance.
I have been accused of being sarcastic, and I admit to it sometimes, but really, some of those questions.
One question asked if our children (under behavior) respond to reward system. I didnt know whether to mark yes or no WE DONT USE THE REWARD SYSTEM. more on that later. So I initially put yes, then there was a drop down explain what rewards they respond to. I thought about marking no, but then that might imply that our kids are rebellious.
So in the drop down box, I proceed to explain that we do not use the reward system, whatever that is...
Our children are expected to obey and live by our family rules, and when they dont there are consequences to their disobedience, not reward for when they obey.
We have raised them in a Christian home with Jesus as the head and the Bible as our instruction book and expect them to live accordingly.
Their reward for living a life pleasing to the Lord will be in heaven. Of course we catch them doing right and tell them we appreciate them, give them lots of hugs, smile at them, laugh with them, just because etc..We give them words of encouragement and notes of appreciation. They know we feel blessed to have them and know we love them.
So days later i cant get it off my mind. do people really "reward" their children for expected behavior?
Where have I been for the last 45 years???
BEING A PART OF OUR FAMILY/GODS FAMILY IS THEIR REWARD: They have beds, clothes, food, love, shelter, respect, work ethic, grace, guidance, family vacations, fun, ministry opportunities, education, support, listening ears, forgiveness and they get to be apart of a family. As a part of that family they are expected to clean up after themselves, do what they are told when they are told, do their school work, homework, treat each other wirh respect and live the way the Bible teaches us to etc...THEY SHOULD CONSIDER IT A PRIVILEGE TO BE PART OF A FAMILY. I KNOW I SURE DO.
AND THEY DONT GET PAID FOR CHORES or GET AN ALLOWANCE EITHER... we give them what they need when they need it and give them some things they want when we have extra money if we feel it is something that won't corrupt their minds/bodies. We also dont withhold what they need as punishment. We are expected to meet their needs as parents. They get gifts on their birthdays and gifts and Christmas and sometimes we just give them extra blessings (not because of behavior) just because we love them. If they earn money while still in our home, or get money from people as gifts or us, we still approve what they buy or spend it on... kids dont have to have an allowance and be paid to do chores to grow up learning about finances or how to manage money, tithing, giving. Those things are better caught than taught. We also have life management classes and economy classes for better understanding for their future.
REMINDS ME OF A FUNNY JOKE MY UNC TOLD: LITTLE BOY TO MAMA: Mama, if i be good will you give me a dollar? MAMA: Son, why dont you be good for nothing like your daddy. OH GO AHEAD AND LAUGH YOU KNOW ITS FUNNY
BACK ON A SERIOUS NOTES, WE PARENTS SHOULD REALLY EVALUATE AND NOT TRY SO HARD TO BE FRIENDS AND COUNSELORS AND STOP COMPENSATING WITH MONEY AND TOYS, FOR LIFE JUST BEING HARD SOMETIMES, AND PARENT WITH BOLDNESS AND GUTS.
MAYBE THAT IS WHY ALOT OF PEOPLE "SIGN UP" FOR CHRISTIANITY EXPECTING GOD TO FINANCIALLY/PHYSCIALLY BLESS THEM FOR DOING RIGHT, AND NEVER REALLY UNDERSTAND THE GOSPEL. THEN SO QUICKLY WALK AWAY FROM HIM, OR DONT GET THE REWARD IN HEAVEN SYSTEM. WE GET FORGIVENESS FOR OUR SINS, INSTEAD OF PUNISHMENT. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE PART OF HIS FAMILY FORGIVENESS FOR SINS, FELLOWSHIP WITH HIM ETERNITY IN HEAVEN IS ENOUGH FOR ME. JESUS IS MY REWARD, I WANT NO OTHER.
I have been accused of being sarcastic, and I admit to it sometimes, but really, some of those questions.
One question asked if our children (under behavior) respond to reward system. I didnt know whether to mark yes or no WE DONT USE THE REWARD SYSTEM. more on that later. So I initially put yes, then there was a drop down explain what rewards they respond to. I thought about marking no, but then that might imply that our kids are rebellious.
So in the drop down box, I proceed to explain that we do not use the reward system, whatever that is...
Our children are expected to obey and live by our family rules, and when they dont there are consequences to their disobedience, not reward for when they obey.
We have raised them in a Christian home with Jesus as the head and the Bible as our instruction book and expect them to live accordingly.
Their reward for living a life pleasing to the Lord will be in heaven. Of course we catch them doing right and tell them we appreciate them, give them lots of hugs, smile at them, laugh with them, just because etc..We give them words of encouragement and notes of appreciation. They know we feel blessed to have them and know we love them.
So days later i cant get it off my mind. do people really "reward" their children for expected behavior?
Where have I been for the last 45 years???
BEING A PART OF OUR FAMILY/GODS FAMILY IS THEIR REWARD: They have beds, clothes, food, love, shelter, respect, work ethic, grace, guidance, family vacations, fun, ministry opportunities, education, support, listening ears, forgiveness and they get to be apart of a family. As a part of that family they are expected to clean up after themselves, do what they are told when they are told, do their school work, homework, treat each other wirh respect and live the way the Bible teaches us to etc...THEY SHOULD CONSIDER IT A PRIVILEGE TO BE PART OF A FAMILY. I KNOW I SURE DO.
AND THEY DONT GET PAID FOR CHORES or GET AN ALLOWANCE EITHER... we give them what they need when they need it and give them some things they want when we have extra money if we feel it is something that won't corrupt their minds/bodies. We also dont withhold what they need as punishment. We are expected to meet their needs as parents. They get gifts on their birthdays and gifts and Christmas and sometimes we just give them extra blessings (not because of behavior) just because we love them. If they earn money while still in our home, or get money from people as gifts or us, we still approve what they buy or spend it on... kids dont have to have an allowance and be paid to do chores to grow up learning about finances or how to manage money, tithing, giving. Those things are better caught than taught. We also have life management classes and economy classes for better understanding for their future.
REMINDS ME OF A FUNNY JOKE MY UNC TOLD: LITTLE BOY TO MAMA: Mama, if i be good will you give me a dollar? MAMA: Son, why dont you be good for nothing like your daddy. OH GO AHEAD AND LAUGH YOU KNOW ITS FUNNY
BACK ON A SERIOUS NOTES, WE PARENTS SHOULD REALLY EVALUATE AND NOT TRY SO HARD TO BE FRIENDS AND COUNSELORS AND STOP COMPENSATING WITH MONEY AND TOYS, FOR LIFE JUST BEING HARD SOMETIMES, AND PARENT WITH BOLDNESS AND GUTS.
MAYBE THAT IS WHY ALOT OF PEOPLE "SIGN UP" FOR CHRISTIANITY EXPECTING GOD TO FINANCIALLY/PHYSCIALLY BLESS THEM FOR DOING RIGHT, AND NEVER REALLY UNDERSTAND THE GOSPEL. THEN SO QUICKLY WALK AWAY FROM HIM, OR DONT GET THE REWARD IN HEAVEN SYSTEM. WE GET FORGIVENESS FOR OUR SINS, INSTEAD OF PUNISHMENT. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE PART OF HIS FAMILY FORGIVENESS FOR SINS, FELLOWSHIP WITH HIM ETERNITY IN HEAVEN IS ENOUGH FOR ME. JESUS IS MY REWARD, I WANT NO OTHER.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Living Generously
We shared Thanksgiving again this year with the Stremetski family. We have been friends with them since the day we arrived in our city over 3 years ago. It was one of those Godly things. You know, when you meet someone and hit it off right away. It's like we have known each other all our lives. We have so much in common it is amazing. They are Russian we are American. They are some 10 years younger than us. They have 7 of their own children, we only have 4 of our own (with sasha now, makes 5, hee hee). Volva and Michael are great friends, and Sveta and I are too. Grace is really good friends with their daughter, Caleb is really good friends with their son.
This was the 4th Thanksgiving we have had them in our home with all the traditional American holiday foods, and we spend every Christmas eve in their home, with all the traditional Russian holiday foods.
Sveta was saved from a life of going from one bad relationship to another searching for love in all the wrong places. Volva was saved from a life of drugs, alcohol and violent gangs. He watched many of his friends grow up to go to prison or die. Neither of them had one Christian that they knew from their family or friends. Through amazing miracles and divine appointments, God sought them and they sought Him and they were saved. They have been believers now for about 14 years. He has been the pastor for about 5 years now. They love Jesus, love people, love the lost, love His Word and love their 7 children that the Lord has given them. They have 4 sons and 3 daughters, ages 5-21. the youngest three are boys ages 5, 6, and 8. The children are beautiful, well behaved and the most loving people you would ever want to meet. They are looked at very strangely in our city and maybe even by the world, because they have so many children. You see, there are still people in the world who have hope in Him, who feel that children are a blessing from the Lord, a gift from Him and dont see them as a nuisance or burden, who realize that providing a loving Godly home is more rewarding than a materialistic home filled with things, money and alot of times strife.
We live in a city of about 300,000 people with some low rise apartment buildings and alot of single/double dwelling homes (mostly old log home styles) There are even some log/wood apartment buildings (with outhouses) Like most of our friends, they live in a small wooden house about 900 square feet. It is heated by coal or wood and someone has to feed the Pechka ( like a wood heater closed in by brick/concrete) continuously to stay warm. They have no running water in their home. They have to fill water jugs/cans/barrels from different places around the city for their water. They have a well for water for washing/cleaning. They heat their water for cleaning and cooking. They use an outdoor toilet, and have a banya, sort of like a sauna (bath house where they heat water/stones) and go there for their thorough bathing. They grow their own vegetables and can them for the winter. Like most homes, they have a podvalka (cellar) to store their potatoes, cabbage and carrots etc...
REGULAR APARTMENT
USUAL SINK IN HOME WITH NO RUNNING WATER
EXAMPLE OF A CELLAR
WOODEN APARTMENT
WOODEN HOME
PECHKA
HOW THEY HEAT THEIR WOODEN HOMES AND WHERE THEY COOK
FILLING WATER JUGS; TYPICAL OUTHOUSE; CHOPPING WOOD FOR PECHKA
THE STREMETSKIS ARE SOME OF MY HEROES
Last month the Lord began speaking to them about His orphans, and how much He loves them. Last night they welcomed 3 more little boys into their loving home, ages 3, 5 and 6. Now they will have 5 boys home aged 6 and under.
There were 4 little boys 6, 5, 3 and 1. Their father abandoned the mother and 4 boys last year, as he could no longer live with an alcoholic woman. Just a few months ago the youngest little boy died of neglect, so they came and took the other three boys from their alcoholic, neglectful mother.
What a blessing to know such people to add to their 7, 3 more to care for. I called last night to check on them and one of the girls answered the phone and said that mama and papa were reading to the Bible to the little boys to call back later or tomorrow. We will need to add 4 more chairs around the table at Christmas this year, we will have 4 more boys: Our sasha and their Max, Igor and Andrushka.
I tell you, I am crying even now as I type. These little guys are now going to be raised in a Godly home. They are hearing the Bible read to them for the first time, and seeing it lived out for them for the first time. They are in a warm home with food (maybe the home is small and the food is scarce) but they now have a family that will love them and care for them and most importantly teach them about God.
What's our excuse?? Couldnt we all (no matter what age or how much money we make, or what size of home we have) do more ??
I praise you, Jesus, for people like the Stremetski Family who do not look at their ability, but make themselves available to You and are willing to obey You at all costs. Help our family to serve and give out of our poverty and not out of wealth. Help our confidence, security or trust not to be in man, jobs, government or money, or in our case in IMB or Lottie Moon or Cooperative program, but in You and You alone. Help us to hear Your voice and fully, carefully, completely obey no matter what.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Rotten Words
Ephesians 4:29 (NASB)
"Let no unwholesome (rotten) word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word that is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear."
We are reading through Ephesians as a family right now and last nights reading brought back a childhood memory/lesson that I learned the hard way.
My mother is the God-wisest woman I know. Seriously, with less than 8th grade education (she tells us all the time that though she attended 8th grade it was an absolute waste)It so happens that we homeschool and all our kids skipped 8th grade too haha) Mama grew up in a home with 12 brothers and sisters, during the Great Depression. By the way, she says that they didnt know there was a great depression, they lived the same as they always did.
I am seriously considering writing a book someday of all her sayings and stories of her wisdom. I truly believe she is the wisest woman in the world. I am so blessed that she is my mother.
Ok, back to the story. I was 8 and my brother, Keith, was 10. As best I remember, we were doing chores. On a side note, for all you "modern" readers: In my family, in South Mississippi, we didnt get allowance or get paid for chores. But we did get all sorts of wonderful privileges like food, water, a comfortable home, an education, clothing, bed, to be part of a family, a strong work ethic, responsibilities, and stuff like that. Our "chores" consisted of being expected to do what we were told to do, when we were told to do it, without grumbling, and doing it with a "Yes, Ma'am; Yes, Sir". We often heard, "If it is worth doing, it is worth doing right (everything they told us to do was definitely worth doing), and one of my favorites HAHAHA... "Don't half-a@@ do anything".
On this particular day, Keith and I were told to fill up some empty milk jugs. Our water came from a well/spring and sometimes it froze up, so we always had to have plenty of water jugs. So, we were behind the house where the water faucet is located filling up empty milk jugs. We got into some sort of argument (I can't for the life of me remember what started it, but since he is not here to defend himself, I will take the blame). The argument involved lots of "name callings" some not so rotten, others very very rotten. For several minutes we took turns calling each other names (dirty names). After all was said and done, we went back into the house, best friends again.
Then, to our surprise, Mama sent us to her room to wait on the bed. If you don't know what "wait on the bed" means, you have been deprived. We couldn't imagine what we had done. We waited with great anticipation for what seemed like forever. Then we heard her coming down the hall.
It seems we had forgotten, to our horror, that the window above the kitchen sink (which is always open) is located just above the outdoor water faucet.
We waited for the belt, which never appeared. Instead, the wise woman, told us that she heard all the things we said. She lectured us a few minutes about name calling and how we were supposed to love one another and blah blah blah (no disrespect intended) Then, she did the unspeakable, the unthinkable, the unimaginable. She told each of us to take turns using those same words and call "her" those names, our precious mother. We pleaded and cried for a spanking instead, and pleaded and cried, as the words to our mother, slipped out of our mouths. When she felt we had had enough, she hugged us and told us that if it was that hard to call her those names, it should be that hard to call each other those names. Some lessons hurt to learn. A spanking or tongue lashing (though we often got our share of those) didn't go near as far as that wise discipline.
To this day, I remember the shame. Does the shame make me feel bad about myself or have a low self esteem? NO WAY. It makes me mindful of how words can hurt, can never be taken back, and how we are accountable for what we say. Sometimes, we should just plain be ashamed of ourselves for the things we say to each other, and do something about it !! Another great way to hold our tongues is to imagine the person we respect most hear us talk like that, or getting up in front of a huge church congregation and spouting them out. Kinda makes ya'll want to learn to control that flapper, huh?
"Let no unwholesome (rotten) word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word that is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear."
We are reading through Ephesians as a family right now and last nights reading brought back a childhood memory/lesson that I learned the hard way.
My mother is the God-wisest woman I know. Seriously, with less than 8th grade education (she tells us all the time that though she attended 8th grade it was an absolute waste)It so happens that we homeschool and all our kids skipped 8th grade too haha) Mama grew up in a home with 12 brothers and sisters, during the Great Depression. By the way, she says that they didnt know there was a great depression, they lived the same as they always did.
I am seriously considering writing a book someday of all her sayings and stories of her wisdom. I truly believe she is the wisest woman in the world. I am so blessed that she is my mother.
Ok, back to the story. I was 8 and my brother, Keith, was 10. As best I remember, we were doing chores. On a side note, for all you "modern" readers: In my family, in South Mississippi, we didnt get allowance or get paid for chores. But we did get all sorts of wonderful privileges like food, water, a comfortable home, an education, clothing, bed, to be part of a family, a strong work ethic, responsibilities, and stuff like that. Our "chores" consisted of being expected to do what we were told to do, when we were told to do it, without grumbling, and doing it with a "Yes, Ma'am; Yes, Sir". We often heard, "If it is worth doing, it is worth doing right (everything they told us to do was definitely worth doing), and one of my favorites HAHAHA... "Don't half-a@@ do anything".
On this particular day, Keith and I were told to fill up some empty milk jugs. Our water came from a well/spring and sometimes it froze up, so we always had to have plenty of water jugs. So, we were behind the house where the water faucet is located filling up empty milk jugs. We got into some sort of argument (I can't for the life of me remember what started it, but since he is not here to defend himself, I will take the blame). The argument involved lots of "name callings" some not so rotten, others very very rotten. For several minutes we took turns calling each other names (dirty names). After all was said and done, we went back into the house, best friends again.
Then, to our surprise, Mama sent us to her room to wait on the bed. If you don't know what "wait on the bed" means, you have been deprived. We couldn't imagine what we had done. We waited with great anticipation for what seemed like forever. Then we heard her coming down the hall.
It seems we had forgotten, to our horror, that the window above the kitchen sink (which is always open) is located just above the outdoor water faucet.
We waited for the belt, which never appeared. Instead, the wise woman, told us that she heard all the things we said. She lectured us a few minutes about name calling and how we were supposed to love one another and blah blah blah (no disrespect intended) Then, she did the unspeakable, the unthinkable, the unimaginable. She told each of us to take turns using those same words and call "her" those names, our precious mother. We pleaded and cried for a spanking instead, and pleaded and cried, as the words to our mother, slipped out of our mouths. When she felt we had had enough, she hugged us and told us that if it was that hard to call her those names, it should be that hard to call each other those names. Some lessons hurt to learn. A spanking or tongue lashing (though we often got our share of those) didn't go near as far as that wise discipline.
To this day, I remember the shame. Does the shame make me feel bad about myself or have a low self esteem? NO WAY. It makes me mindful of how words can hurt, can never be taken back, and how we are accountable for what we say. Sometimes, we should just plain be ashamed of ourselves for the things we say to each other, and do something about it !! Another great way to hold our tongues is to imagine the person we respect most hear us talk like that, or getting up in front of a huge church congregation and spouting them out. Kinda makes ya'll want to learn to control that flapper, huh?
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Rejoice no matter what
Going down memory lane to Thursday, December, 9 1993, 17 years ago.
age 28
wife, stay at home mom, awana teacher, youth sunday school teacher, just started studying the Bible for the first time...Precepts Inductive Bible study, Philippians: Rejoice no matter what
3 children: Reagan age 7- 1st grade, Mrs Beeman, Brandon Elementary, Bryan age 4, Grace 8 months.
Michael was a car salesman at Gray Daniels Ford, Brandon, MS
members of Park Place Baptist Church, Brandon/Pearl
just moved to Brandon and rented a home for $500 on hwy 468, near brenmar st, no pets allowed
2 cars
My sister, Vidonia and her family were IMB missionaries in Argentina and had just returned for STAS (Furlough)
A lot of my family (Donia's family, Ginger's family, Keith and his fiance and Mama) came over to our "new/rental" house in Brandon. We wanted to celebrate and give them all a Christmas gift to the chinese restaurant "Shanghi" our treat (good month in car sales) and listen to Christmas music and decorate our tree.
Before we left for the restaurant, Keith switched Grace's shoes around, to tease me and make people think I couldnt even dress a little girl right after 2 boys... haha
After Chinese buffet, the guys went to the boy scout tree farm and bought a really pretty real tree (keith and steve argued over which one, keith won, as usual, Michael didnt care hahaha)
We had such a wonderful night decorating the tree, listening to Alabama Christmas, setting out the beautiful porcelan nativity set my mother gave each of her children (from Avon) Each year they came out with a different piece. She collected 6 complete sets for each of her children. As each piece was placed, the birth of Jesus was read from the Bible. Reagan had just given his life to Christ in July that year, so it was his first Christmas as a believer. He had just learned all the words to Away in a Manger. He was especially sensitive to the Lord and very excited about his new faith, and still at the age that he didnt care what people thought, he praised Jesus wherever he was. As baby Jesus was placed, he knelt on his knees, folded his hands in prayer and bowed his head, and began singing Away in a Manger, as if it was scripted. Of course we all joined in and sang with him. As we were singing, my eyes met Keiths and he had the biggest tears you ever saw, and so did I. It was a special moment frozen in time and in my mind for eternity.
Afterward, Keith made coffee and served everyone, and we sat around and talked and laughed. We even created a tv show idea "Coffee with Ginger" (this was before reality tv, looking back now it would certainly have been a hit). Keith decorated Grace in her stroller with lights and tensil. He also announced his and his fiance's engagement/wedding date for February 14, 1994, that day would never come for him. That night, he asked mama if he could have his nativity set since they were getting married and she agreed. (she told him he couldnt have it till he settled down, or got married and had a home to put it in. It was the last night me and my family would see Keith. He was a great brother, an encourager, a protector, a loyal friend, an amazing athlete: mvp football player senior year, 2nd place state hurdles, scholarship at JCJC football, (most important to my boys, he could jump a whole truck) a servant, hot tempered :), defender of the weak, and loved his family more than anything. I was blessed to have him as an older brother.
It was a magical night, even before I knew it would be my last with Keith.
One week later, December 16, 17 years ago today, a thursday. Vidonia came and shared with our WMU at Park Place, then we went for ice coffee at the mall. Then I did all our Christmas shopping. Returned home with all the loot and was sitting in the floor dividing and organizing (making sure everyone had the same amount of gifts from us and from Santa. I remember the news as playing on the tv in the background and there had been a murder in Brandon in Robin Hood subdivision. I remember saying a silent prayer for the family of the one killed and thinking how sad so close to Christmas. Moments later I would receive the worst phone call of my life from my sister. After she told me that Keith had been killed, I dropped the phone and fainted. The next thing I remember was throwing all the gifts into the closet and going to meet my sister at the brandon courthouse to drive down to mama and daddy's to give them the news in person. The chief of police followed in their car for our safety. We literally prayed out loud together as we drove the 40 minutes. How do wake your parents in the middle of the night to tell them their son's life has been senselessly taken?
The details of how Keith's life was taken by another human being is much too personal and painful to write about. We heard that Keith's murderer lived his last days in Parchman before he died of natural causes in 2005. What a wasted life. We heard a few years later, that the guy who witnessed and testified gave his life to Christ, what a redeemed life.
Through it all, God is faithful, He is sovereign, and He will carry us through anything this life brings. ANYTHING. He will give joy no matter what our circumstances. We can rejoice no matter what. Life is precious, dear and it truly is a Wonderful Life. I pray that you know that whatever loss you (whoever you is) are going through this year, or whatever you might face in your life, He is enough, for this we have Jesus, He will carry you, every day is a new day, His mercies are new every morning. He will give you enough light for the step you are on. I pray that you will trust and praise God no matter what. Don't waste your life. Make it count for Jesus.
age 28
wife, stay at home mom, awana teacher, youth sunday school teacher, just started studying the Bible for the first time...Precepts Inductive Bible study, Philippians: Rejoice no matter what
3 children: Reagan age 7- 1st grade, Mrs Beeman, Brandon Elementary, Bryan age 4, Grace 8 months.
Michael was a car salesman at Gray Daniels Ford, Brandon, MS
members of Park Place Baptist Church, Brandon/Pearl
just moved to Brandon and rented a home for $500 on hwy 468, near brenmar st, no pets allowed
2 cars
My sister, Vidonia and her family were IMB missionaries in Argentina and had just returned for STAS (Furlough)
A lot of my family (Donia's family, Ginger's family, Keith and his fiance and Mama) came over to our "new/rental" house in Brandon. We wanted to celebrate and give them all a Christmas gift to the chinese restaurant "Shanghi" our treat (good month in car sales) and listen to Christmas music and decorate our tree.
Before we left for the restaurant, Keith switched Grace's shoes around, to tease me and make people think I couldnt even dress a little girl right after 2 boys... haha
After Chinese buffet, the guys went to the boy scout tree farm and bought a really pretty real tree (keith and steve argued over which one, keith won, as usual, Michael didnt care hahaha)
We had such a wonderful night decorating the tree, listening to Alabama Christmas, setting out the beautiful porcelan nativity set my mother gave each of her children (from Avon) Each year they came out with a different piece. She collected 6 complete sets for each of her children. As each piece was placed, the birth of Jesus was read from the Bible. Reagan had just given his life to Christ in July that year, so it was his first Christmas as a believer. He had just learned all the words to Away in a Manger. He was especially sensitive to the Lord and very excited about his new faith, and still at the age that he didnt care what people thought, he praised Jesus wherever he was. As baby Jesus was placed, he knelt on his knees, folded his hands in prayer and bowed his head, and began singing Away in a Manger, as if it was scripted. Of course we all joined in and sang with him. As we were singing, my eyes met Keiths and he had the biggest tears you ever saw, and so did I. It was a special moment frozen in time and in my mind for eternity.
Afterward, Keith made coffee and served everyone, and we sat around and talked and laughed. We even created a tv show idea "Coffee with Ginger" (this was before reality tv, looking back now it would certainly have been a hit). Keith decorated Grace in her stroller with lights and tensil. He also announced his and his fiance's engagement/wedding date for February 14, 1994, that day would never come for him. That night, he asked mama if he could have his nativity set since they were getting married and she agreed. (she told him he couldnt have it till he settled down, or got married and had a home to put it in. It was the last night me and my family would see Keith. He was a great brother, an encourager, a protector, a loyal friend, an amazing athlete: mvp football player senior year, 2nd place state hurdles, scholarship at JCJC football, (most important to my boys, he could jump a whole truck) a servant, hot tempered :), defender of the weak, and loved his family more than anything. I was blessed to have him as an older brother.
It was a magical night, even before I knew it would be my last with Keith.
One week later, December 16, 17 years ago today, a thursday. Vidonia came and shared with our WMU at Park Place, then we went for ice coffee at the mall. Then I did all our Christmas shopping. Returned home with all the loot and was sitting in the floor dividing and organizing (making sure everyone had the same amount of gifts from us and from Santa. I remember the news as playing on the tv in the background and there had been a murder in Brandon in Robin Hood subdivision. I remember saying a silent prayer for the family of the one killed and thinking how sad so close to Christmas. Moments later I would receive the worst phone call of my life from my sister. After she told me that Keith had been killed, I dropped the phone and fainted. The next thing I remember was throwing all the gifts into the closet and going to meet my sister at the brandon courthouse to drive down to mama and daddy's to give them the news in person. The chief of police followed in their car for our safety. We literally prayed out loud together as we drove the 40 minutes. How do wake your parents in the middle of the night to tell them their son's life has been senselessly taken?
The details of how Keith's life was taken by another human being is much too personal and painful to write about. We heard that Keith's murderer lived his last days in Parchman before he died of natural causes in 2005. What a wasted life. We heard a few years later, that the guy who witnessed and testified gave his life to Christ, what a redeemed life.
Through it all, God is faithful, He is sovereign, and He will carry us through anything this life brings. ANYTHING. He will give joy no matter what our circumstances. We can rejoice no matter what. Life is precious, dear and it truly is a Wonderful Life. I pray that you know that whatever loss you (whoever you is) are going through this year, or whatever you might face in your life, He is enough, for this we have Jesus, He will carry you, every day is a new day, His mercies are new every morning. He will give you enough light for the step you are on. I pray that you will trust and praise God no matter what. Don't waste your life. Make it count for Jesus.
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