SUNDAY 6 AM (Moscow time), January 29, 2012
It’s the Lord’s day…I love that we say that, but it always makes me stop and pray, “Every day is Your day, help me to live every day as Your day.”
We slept all through the night. It must have been the Big Mac’s and fries and pies. The good food and rocking train knocked us all out. Another man came to our door, he was a bit unbelieving that we had another bed for him, but finally we convinced him by showing him our ticket and he went to see, never returning.
We passed through Ekat in the middle of the night. I woke up when we stopped saw the sign, then snuggled back down. We just passed through Tuman. Next stop we will need some water. Michael is up with me and Caleb is still snoozing away. When I went to the restroom last night, I passed a very drunk young man, said a prayer for him, then slipped in his throw up. UGH… sorry no picture of that.
That reminds me to include in my journal what we have found to be most necessary and helpful items when travelling by train: Kleenex, wipies, hand sanitizer (for hands and feet haha) Plastic slip on shoes (plastic) (for going to the bathroom and to get hot water for tea and instant taters and instant lapsha) Throw up is much easier to clean off of plastic sandals, travel mug, a small flashlight for finding said plastic shoes, plastic walmart type bags for garbage in your cabin and for dirty clothes (there is a garbage bin near the bathrooms to empty it into, paper towels, sugar (the kind that closes), creamer, teabags, 3 in 1 coffee, plastic knife, spoon and fork, toilet covers (unless you have mastered going potty holding yourself up and holding on while the train goes bumpity bump…, booklight (sometimes they turn off all the lights and you cant control it, sometimes the back lights above the beds don’t work) camera, shorts (yes, shorts especially in winter) I highly recommend for the ladies (facial wipes) for removing make up (if you must wear make up). I might think of other necessities later, dont forget hand sanitizer.
In about 10 hrs we will have gone about halfway. I rather enjoy the train. Sleep, talk, eat , drink tea and coffee, read, pray, spend uninterrupted time with Michael and Caleb, spend uninterrupted time with God. Who wouldn’t enjoy this. (if you are not attached to modern conveniences like showers, kithens, computers, and soft beds and normal food and normal bathrooms) I remember once reading a book about "normal" being just a setting on your dryer. Thats all fine and good Mrs Clairmont, or Miss Barbara, whichever one of you who wrote that, but I have lived the better part of the past 12 years without a dryer. So the word normal is not even in my vocabulary.
Why do we, as humans, hahaha. I added that "as humans" part because Grace always writes that way: We as humans, we as people, we humans, we people hahaha...She cracks me up, like what else are we? I think it comes from her Russian. Don’t they say that a lot, Mwi, Kak Ludi ??? Anyway, why do we feel we must be doing something , saying something, or making something happen all the time. We have truly missed what it means to be content in all things, to rest in Him, and to truly trust things to Him. That is one of the many lessons I have learned by living overseas, that I am not sure I could have learned any place else. Mostly, because my independence and do it all kind of American southern woman attitude, was quickly stripped away, along with many other things (I won't tell you what came to mind just now about my first Russian doctor experience) I am really talking about being faced with what would seem simple easy and fixable tasks in the states made hard just by living in a different culture and different language. I do many things not very well here haha.
When the enemy attacks, we even have a tendency to want to do something, or we feel guilty if we don’t “do something”. When crisis show up, I always feel this way at first…”what can I do?” But I am reminded quickly, especially of late that feelings lie. Fasting and praying, and doing nothing, saying nothing, should be our first objective. Not running to others or trying to fix…just the opposite of what we tend to do. Stop, pray, fast, rest in Him, and BE SILENT and WAIT on HIM. Then and only then should we speak His truth, from His Word, not what we think…Do we really think that we have all the answers? Do we really think that He, the God of all the universe cannot speak truth to us and those we love in the middle of a crisis. I especially am referring to our grown children, for those of us privileged to have survived parenting long enough for them to grow up and not actually kill them along the way. Haha… He can and will speak to those we love, Himself. He really doesn’t need us, though He does sometimes use us…I have made a new commitment, at least where our grown children are concerned, to speak His Word, His truth, only after much prayer and knowing He is telling me too. To not try to be my husbands or their Holy Spirit.
It works, it really works…I have been practicing this in our marriage for years, and now in our adult children’s lives. He has more creative and powerful ways of speaking what needs to be spoken that me, trust me. Only after much prayer and even fasting and when I know He is telling me to speak, do I need to speak. I know from experience that He is capable, trustworthy and loves them more than me. I choose to believe Him no matter what and never give up. He keeps reminding me over and over that finishing well is the key, those who finish the race, and persevere win the victory in the end, the prize: Jesus, our greatest treasure, being with God for eternity. WHOO HOOO.
If we are always concerned with finishing well (since we have no idea when that will be) then everything in the middle will be well as well. Even in that, we are sinning if we worry or are afraid. I am more convinced by His Spirit daily that fear and anxiousness are sin and should be repented of, immediately upon allowing those feelings to enter our mind, before they get to our heart.
What we need to be doing instead of trying to make things happen, manipulating, or worrying and fearing or fretting over every difficult situation that presents itself (in our families, our ministries and with our friends) is to simply step back, throw up our hands and say: “ I can’t do this, I don’t know what I am doing, I don’t know the next step to take, I am incapable of fixing this” and then dig into His Word, on our knees or face in fervent prayer, and fasting, worship Him, thank Him and wait on HIM, all the while with our eyes and hearts fixed on Him. I know there is nothing we face that He will not see us through on. I know when I don’t know what to do, I can be ready to know God and He can direct me to do anything that has to be done, His way, or better yet, wait on Him to do it. It’s You, Lord, or nothing—All my “eggs are in one basket”. When I don’t know what to do, He does. He is my very present help (PS 46:1) I will keep my heart, mind and eyes fixed on You, Lord
“…Not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of Hosts.” Zechariah 4:6
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