SOS Songs of Siberia

TRANSIBERIAN ADVENTURE DAY 3 PART 3

2012-02-16T16:25:00.003+10:00

TRANSIBERIAN ADVENTURE DAY 3 PART 3

SUNDAY, JANUARY 29, 2012

I was thinking today about Amy Carmichael. From what I remember, she served in India for 56 years. wow! 56 YEARS... What many might not know, for the last 20 years of her service, she was confined to bed. From active Missionary for over 30 years to bed ridden invalid. She was a faithful witness, I would say.

When we accept and not fight our circumstances, whether financial, physical, spiritual - we open our heart's gate to God's love, peace, joy and ultimate contentment in Him.

I am also reminded of Psalm 25. Preserve our Spirits, Lord. Help us to know that no matter what, You will carry us through any rough spot. All Your paths are lovingkindness, all means all. Help us to count it all joy...where there is suffering, there is much joy.

Being here in the middle of Russia on the Transiberian railway, travelling further and further from Mississippi, from our family, it is not my choosing. I love my family, I love Mississippi and warm weather - It asks more of me than I naturally want to give. but in light of what faithful witnesses that have gone on before us, there is not any comparison.

Yet I rejoice to give Him what He asks, so that others can know Him and see what He can do. I can never go wrong finding my joy and comfort in Him.

We just played our first game of cards. Phase 10...I won. Michael got off the train and got 2 more waters and a juice. He also went to the dining car to see what they have for lunch.

I just read the Homelife magazines that Frances sent. One of the articles was about Gladys Alyward. What an amazing woman, example of faithfulness, perseverance and obedience...Such a small woman, with such a huge faith. She rode this same railway all the way from London to China during the war between Russia and China (1930's) She saved all her money from scrubbing floors, washing clothes, went against her family's wishes to go to China and serve. When she arrived to near our city (the city of exile), she was kicked off the train by Russian soldiers, basically to die. It was middle of winter and she nearly froze to death and got eaten by wolves before she made it to our city, where she was then interrogated by officials. They thought her passport read "mechanic" not "missionary". She eventually made it to her destination in China and there shared Christ and cared for many orphans and got them safely away from danger.

Reading that story and remembering about Amy Carmichael is so helpful, so convicting, so encouraging to me as a woman/missionary.

Oh Yay, heading to the dining car...Michael and Caleb had borsch with rye bread and sour cream. I had pork chop (escallop) with home fried potatoes. It was very good. Michael had Cordon Blue (chicken with cheese and ham) He didnt care for it, but I liked it. I am pretty easy to please where food is concerned haha. Neither of us liked the bill though...just for that and no tea or drinks, it was over $40.00. Needless to say, we wont be eating in the dining car again.

Sunday Night listened to a sermon together. Walk in the Word, James McDonald 1 John TRUE LOVE

If we lose hope, we lose everything, I must hope in His love and obey faithfully.

True Love does not hate. Christians cannot hate.

True Love confirms salvation. If we are truly born again, we should be becoming more loving, more kind, more patient, more forgiving, more humble...

True Love is sacrificial, willing to lay down our lives for Christ and others, take action --- see a need and do our best to meet it. Dying to self.

True Love speaks truth- Not words or talk, but by our deeds do we show true love. It was a great Sunday on the train.

A few pictures of our dining car expereince and our "expensive" but rather yummy Sunday dinner.
Going to the dining car, between wagons, was soooo cold.

TRANSIBERIAN ADVENTURE DAY 3 PART 2

2012-02-15T11:16:00.009+10:00

Day 3 Part 2
Sunday, January 29, 2012

What a beautiful wonderful life, abundant and joyful, when we keep our eyes on Jesus. The alternative can never bring joy or peace: watching every step, fearful of what lies ahead, stumbling, tripping and falling and giving up or turning back, afraid of doing the wrong thing, worrying and anxious about every trial or struggle, wandering to and fro, with no clear direction. Yes, along the journey (like the Israelites in the wilderness) there will be trials, sin, death, illness, pain, suffering, rejection (snakes, personality conflicts, dry wells, hunger, holes, enemies, drought, tears, mountains to cross) but as the children of Israel (those of them who believed) and stood still and focused on Him, they saw salvation, the table in the wilderness, rain, food from heaven, all they needed was provided. If they would only wait and trust God.

He destroyed the enemy. He fought their battles. He sent water from rocks, He sent manna from heaven. He took poison from snakes. He led them by clouds and by fire. He refreshed them with milk and honey, and ultimately He brought them into the promised land...with and high and mighty hand...for those who obeyed, persevered and waited on and trusted in Him. Then He warned them (and us) to pass it on to our children and our grandchildren. WHAT A MIGHTY GOD WE SERVE! How can we do this, if we give up, quit, before we see the salvation of the Lord?

Yepper doodle, I want it ALL...not in this life, but for Eternity! I want a full portion of Him of His promise. He is my promise. I want Him!

Grace: Our beautiful girl. With all the passion, compassion and love a person can have. She gave me this beautiful journal for Christmas - I love it! It's Sunday. I love Sundays: This is the day, this is the day, that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made; I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in it, and be glad in it. This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it; this is the day, this is the day, that the Lord has made.

She is in Africa now singing this song. Not in English, or Russian, but in Swahili

WHAT IS HER HEART LANGUAGE ??

We brought her to Russia when she was 6. We instilled in her from an early age that He is her heart. He holds her heart. He is her identity. I know when she was young, she would need to know the truth. To know that wherever she lived, no matter what she was good at, how beautiful she was, what talents or skills she did or didn't have, or whatever she possessed, that her identity was in none of those things. Oh how He has taught her well. What a joyful learner, with a teachable heart. She will be used up for Him, that is her future, serving Him, serving others.

Set apart for Him, for His glory, for His service, not conformed to this world, but transformed to glorify Him. I miss our three grown kids so much. What wonderful times and memories when they were in our home. It is not the same, and never will be, but that is ok. I will always miss them being under our roof, but I am so excited for them in so many ways. Lord, be their joy, be their peace, be their comfort, be their all in all. Help them to find absolute peace and complete joy in You and You alone. Make them shine like the stars in the sky over the world, brightly for You. Help them to love like You, to love with their whole hearts. Make them be your hands, your feet, your truth. Thank you so much for allowing me the privilege of birthing them and raising them, and watching them obey and love You. I never really felt that they were mine. Maybe that has been why letting them go hasn't devastated me. I thought letting Grace go would be the hardest, but it was so easy watching her go to follow You. It isnt so hard to let them go, when they are seeking to follow You. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness in the mistakes I made in parenting them. You are good! Give me strength, give me courage, give me patience, wisdom and more grace to be the mother that Caleb needs. Help me to never hold on too tight. Help me to teach him all he needs to learn. Give him a teachable spirit that he needs to become Your man, a strong, kind, gentle, servant. Give him a heart that loves you and others. Give him humility to be the servant leader You have called him to be. Help me to rest and trust in You for all those things. Keep each of them tight in Your loving hands, Your hands are strong enough. You are enough for them. You are enough for everything we face.

TRANSIBERIAN ADVENTURE DAY 3 PART 1

2012-02-14T10:50:00.004+10:00

DAY 3 PART 1

SUNDAY 6 AM (Moscow time), January 29, 2012

It’s the Lord’s day…I love that we say that, but it always makes me stop and pray, “Every day is Your day, help me to live every day as Your day.”

We slept all through the night. It must have been the Big Mac’s and fries and pies. The good food and rocking train knocked us all out. Another man came to our door, he was a bit unbelieving that we had another bed for him, but finally we convinced him by showing him our ticket and he went to see, never returning.

We passed through Ekat in the middle of the night. I woke up when we stopped saw the sign, then snuggled back down. We just passed through Tuman. Next stop we will need some water. Michael is up with me and Caleb is still snoozing away. When I went to the restroom last night, I passed a very drunk young man, said a prayer for him, then slipped in his throw up. UGH… sorry no picture of that.

That reminds me to include in my journal what we have found to be most necessary and helpful items when travelling by train: Kleenex, wipies, hand sanitizer (for hands and feet haha) Plastic slip on shoes (plastic) (for going to the bathroom and to get hot water for tea and instant taters and instant lapsha) Throw up is much easier to clean off of plastic sandals, travel mug, a small flashlight for finding said plastic shoes, plastic walmart type bags for garbage in your cabin and for dirty clothes (there is a garbage bin near the bathrooms to empty it into, paper towels, sugar (the kind that closes), creamer, teabags, 3 in 1 coffee, plastic knife, spoon and fork, toilet covers (unless you have mastered going potty holding yourself up and holding on while the train goes bumpity bump…, booklight (sometimes they turn off all the lights and you cant control it, sometimes the back lights above the beds don’t work) camera, shorts (yes, shorts especially in winter) I highly recommend for the ladies (facial wipes) for removing make up (if you must wear make up). I might think of other necessities later, dont forget hand sanitizer.

In about 10 hrs we will have gone about halfway. I rather enjoy the train. Sleep, talk, eat , drink tea and coffee, read, pray, spend uninterrupted time with Michael and Caleb, spend uninterrupted time with God. Who wouldn’t enjoy this. (if you are not attached to modern conveniences like showers, kithens, computers, and soft beds and normal food and normal bathrooms) I remember once reading a book about "normal" being just a setting on your dryer. Thats all fine and good Mrs Clairmont, or Miss Barbara, whichever one of you who wrote that, but I have lived the better part of the past 12 years without a dryer. So the word normal is not even in my vocabulary.

Why do we, as humans, hahaha. I added that "as humans" part because Grace always writes that way: We as humans, we as people, we humans, we people hahaha...She cracks me up, like what else are we? I think it comes from her Russian. Don’t they say that a lot, Mwi, Kak Ludi ??? Anyway, why do we feel we must be doing something , saying something, or making something happen all the time. We have truly missed what it means to be content in all things, to rest in Him, and to truly trust things to Him. That is one of the many lessons I have learned by living overseas, that I am not sure I could have learned any place else. Mostly, because my independence and do it all kind of American southern woman attitude, was quickly stripped away, along with many other things (I won't tell you what came to mind just now about my first Russian doctor experience) I am really talking about being faced with what would seem simple easy and fixable tasks in the states made hard just by living in a different culture and different language. I do many things not very well here haha.

When the enemy attacks, we even have a tendency to want to do something, or we feel guilty if we don’t “do something”. When crisis show up, I always feel this way at first…”what can I do?” But I am reminded quickly, especially of late that feelings lie. Fasting and praying, and doing nothing, saying nothing, should be our first objective. Not running to others or trying to fix…just the opposite of what we tend to do. Stop, pray, fast, rest in Him, and BE SILENT and WAIT on HIM. Then and only then should we speak His truth, from His Word, not what we think…Do we really think that we have all the answers? Do we really think that He, the God of all the universe cannot speak truth to us and those we love in the middle of a crisis. I especially am referring to our grown children, for those of us privileged to have survived parenting long enough for them to grow up and not actually kill them along the way. Haha… He can and will speak to those we love, Himself. He really doesn’t need us, though He does sometimes use us…I have made a new commitment, at least where our grown children are concerned, to speak His Word, His truth, only after much prayer and knowing He is telling me too. To not try to be my husbands or their Holy Spirit.

It works, it really works…I have been practicing this in our marriage for years, and now in our adult children’s lives. He has more creative and powerful ways of speaking what needs to be spoken that me, trust me. Only after much prayer and even fasting and when I know He is telling me to speak, do I need to speak. I know from experience that He is capable, trustworthy and loves them more than me. I choose to believe Him no matter what and never give up. He keeps reminding me over and over that finishing well is the key, those who finish the race, and persevere win the victory in the end, the prize: Jesus, our greatest treasure, being with God for eternity. WHOO HOOO.

If we are always concerned with finishing well (since we have no idea when that will be) then everything in the middle will be well as well. Even in that, we are sinning if we worry or are afraid. I am more convinced by His Spirit daily that fear and anxiousness are sin and should be repented of, immediately upon allowing those feelings to enter our mind, before they get to our heart.

What we need to be doing instead of trying to make things happen, manipulating, or worrying and fearing or fretting over every difficult situation that presents itself (in our families, our ministries and with our friends) is to simply step back, throw up our hands and say: “ I can’t do this, I don’t know what I am doing, I don’t know the next step to take, I am incapable of fixing this” and then dig into His Word, on our knees or face in fervent prayer, and fasting, worship Him, thank Him and wait on HIM, all the while with our eyes and hearts fixed on Him. I know there is nothing we face that He will not see us through on. I know when I don’t know what to do, I can be ready to know God and He can direct me to do anything that has to be done, His way, or better yet, wait on Him to do it. It’s You, Lord, or nothing—All my “eggs are in one basket”. When I don’t know what to do, He does. He is my very present help (PS 46:1) I will keep my heart, mind and eyes fixed on You, Lord

“…Not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of Hosts.” Zechariah 4:6

TRANSIBERIAN ADVENTURE DAY 2

2012-02-13T16:36:00.011+10:00

DAY 2
Saturday, January 28, 2012

6 am (Moscow time)

It’s now 6 am, not sure where, but the train stopped and woke me up. I can’t seem to stop sleeping. Michael is having some more Princess Noorah Tea. The bathroom is closed. Caleb is finally awake, but still not hungry. He hasn’t eaten since 11 am yesterday, he slept for over 12 hrs. The third passenger came. A young man and his baby, all papoosed up so cute. I know now it would have been so hard having “guests”. We have had 3 already and all were men, which means I would have to get on the top bunk and people coming in all hours of the day/night. We were all so exhausted, so very thankful the Lord allowed us to purchase the other bed.

Yay, I am finally awake enough for coffee. It seems we have travelled only 2 time zones (of 15) I have slept off and on now for about 15 hrs. It was refreshing since I have slept no more than 4 hrs at a time since leaving MS on Monday. I ate some lapsha (noodles) sort of like instant ramen noodles, except these are new and alfredo flavored. Didn’t taste much different to me. I love how the picture shows these big ole chunks of meat and all there is are little dehydrated pebbles. Frances and I laughed about that in Moscow together. I never once ate them in the states, or MCD’s for that matter. I am saving my bowl for some grits. I brought a can with me just for the train. Cracks me up: I never once ate grits those whole six months, but because we cant get them here, I brought some back. Humans are silly creatures we are. I also brought two boxes of poptarts for the train. Again never had them in the states. Haha. Why do we tend to crave what we can’t have?

Michael bought me an IBible for Christmas. I LOVE IT!! He is listening to it right now…what’s up with that? It really is cool and helps me stay focused. I like to listen as I read along in my Bible…he even made sure it was my favorite translation NASB… I really enjoyed it when we were at the Lake house in Kansas City with Grace, when we took her back after her Christmas break, just before she left for Africa. Sweet sweet folks we met at our last AGM offered for us to stay in their lake house. It was wonderful, to have a home away from home each time we had to pick Grace up and take her back (4 trips) to Kansas City. God has sure created some generous people and placed them in our lives. I woke up early each morning the 4 days we were there, snuck quietly into a special room. I called it the Africa room, there were all sorts of drums and jimbas. It had a sofa and a couple of chairs and pictures with peaceful, comforting Scriptures on the walls, and a verse even painted on the wall. I curled up on the couch and listened to my I Bible and listened to my ipod shuffle and prayed for everything you can imagine. How comforting His Word is. How much peace It brings, In simple, easy, difficult and hard times. He is my very present help!

2 Chronicles 20: 11,12
“Behold I say, how they reward us, to come and cast us out of Your possession, which You have give us to inherit. O my God, won’t You judge them? For we have no strength (might/power) against their great company that comes against us, neither do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You.”

King Jehoshaphat’s armies were closing in on Judah, and this is how he humbled himself and poured out his heart before the people and the Lord.
I have several things going on in my life and in the life of those I love right now that causes me to be humbled like this king. The enemy comes in all sizes and shapes.

My brother and his sweet family…battling right now for the life of their son, who has been battling cancer is one of the things heavy on my heart. They literally have no power or might or strength for this battle on their own. Their faith is strong, their hope is strong, but in all honesty, they have absolutely no control over this illness or the consequences the treatment caused… There is nothing they can do, but their eyes are on HIM. Keep Troy and Mona’s eyes on You, Lord. Keep Justin’s, Jimmie’s, Jared’s and Katie’s eyes on You, Lord, no one or nothing but You. You are their very present help, Lord
.
The enemy tries to come against our marriages, tries to steal what God gave, unity, oneness. This is what he does he takes what God intends to be beautiful and lies. Yet, as believers, we know God is greater and we all need to be at that humble place of saying, God, we don’t know what to do, how to pray, we have no strength no power against the enemy, and wait patiently for God to step in,our eyes are on You, Lord, keep our eyes on You, keep Reagan and Robin's eyes on you Lord, no one and nothing but You, to look to You for victory, to look to You as our very present help. Please fight this battle. As a mother, there are many times that I feel helpless and dependent on You, and I praise You, Oh Father for that. I know that is just where I need and want to be. Give each of us humility and humble hearts in every trial and every victory we face. You are our very present help, Lord. Give Your wisdom, Your discernment, Your strength and Your victory.

Michael got off the train for the first time. I am so silly. Every time he gets off, I imagine what would happen if the train left him. HAHAHA. I honestly really think I might have to laugh. Now if he/we didn’t know the language and wasn’t so wise, I might be afraid, but for some reason, it seems like it would be kind of sort of funny. Why do I have to be so utterly honest and transparent?

Well, he made it back with water, chips and sunflower seeds. One carbonated and one not and both frozen. Our Russian friends would put it by the heater till it got warm, so as not to get sick drinking cold water…but we are super excited. It is so hot on this train, we are in shorts and tank tops haha… Oh and multi fruit juice (what would that be called in English?) several fruit juices mixed together ?? (he said the little babushka (grandmother) begged him to buy her juice and he couldn’t say no to her. It cost 50 whole rubles. “Malodoi chelovek, padzhalsta, tolka adin ostalos (young man, please, I only have one left) and Im so cold” I think it was because she called him young. Haha.

Caleb had some instant mashed potatoes when he got up, finally, he ate. The instant potatoes are much better than the lapsha to us. I had some tea, my first cup. I love the little cups on the train. Little clear glasses in the metal cup holders. (pic below) We have been on the train about 20 hrs now (sleeping most of it) I love my ipod shuffle that Michael got me. It was not as expensive as a reg ipod (i wouldnt let him spend that much money), but for me its perfect. I am not like our kids, they like to play certain songs and skip songs etc…the way I look at it is that if I like all the songs on my list, what difference does it make what order or whether I choose when they are played or not. I am going to listen to it and take another nap. I LOVE SLEEPING ON THE TRAIN, DID I MENTION THAT? OoH I forgot. I brought some cherry limeade instant packets that I want to try with the carbonated water, then I will take a nap. I am anxious to see how it tastes. IT AINT SONIC, BUT NOT BAD.

I awoke from my nap just in time to see the sunrise. AMAZING... if the window wasnt so dirty, I would get a picture. (as you can see below after i wrote, i decided to take one anyway) haha

We are still in European Russia. Here is a corny joke I just thought up: What happens when you wake up on the train after hours of sleep and the bathrooms are locked for the 40 minute stop and even more to get out of town? EUROPEAN IN YOUR PANTS....

We are just a few hours from Perm.

Listening to Matthew on my IBible. Matthew wrote to the Jews. Jesus is the living King they had been waiting for. Good News…Did you know there are 129 quotes or references from the Old Testament in Matthew, and most of those quotes and references referred to the coming Messiah, Jesus. How awesome is that?.... Isnt it amazing that God can do anything…even raise up children out of stones, if He wanted to. There is nothing nothing absolutely nothing, nothing too difficult for God.

Jeanine facebooked me before we left the capital and told me to contact them when we were close and if it wasn’t the middle of the night, they would try to come and see us. We just wrote them and they are going to meet us at our wagon WITH MC D’S…How fun and cool is that? We had such a sweet visit with Brad and Jeanine and Emily and Sarah, outside wagon 7. They caught us up on their family and ministry. God is so good! What a joy to see whole families serving the Lord together, being obedient no matter what. Such an encouragement !! Brad took our picture with his phone. I don’t know why, but I was so excited to see them, that I forgot to take my camera out. They are soooo sweet brought us big macs and fries AND PIES...oh my goodness it was sooo good. We havent had mc D pies in years. THANK YOU HORNE FAMILY.

TRANSIBERIAN ADVENTURE DAY 1 PART 3

2012-02-12T18:45:00.002+10:00

DAY 1 PART 3
Friday 8:20 p.m.

WOW. We crashed, after they brought our bedding around! The mattresses are about 3 inches thick, usually like the old feather mattresses you remember from childhood. The pillows are big and soft and also feather. When you first get on the train, the mattresses (all rolled up with the pillow inside) are on each of the beds (hard beds, the bottom two have storage underneath for luggage) We had to wait till the attendants came around with our sheets (two flat sheets) and a pillowcase and hand towel. There are also 4 wool blankets in each kupet (though as many times as I’ve travelled the train, I have never needed that. I could not wait to get my bed made and go to sleep. I realized something,that is why I love the train so much. I get to sleep all I want and the train just rocks and rocks. LOVE IT.

Finally, we made our beds. They finally got far enough out of town to open the bathroom. Every thing in the bathroom is metal and small. Thank goodness there is a handle, as it gets a little bumpy haha. After 6 months away, the toilet paper is just as I remember…SAND PAPER…Sweet Frances sent us a softer roll with us, another “new” luxury in Russia, it has little puppies printed on it. IT AINT CHARMIN, but it’s better than the brown sandpaper that’s for sure. I will definitely be digging that cute roll out SOON.

We laid down to sleep at about 3 pm. We weren’t hungry because Frances was kind enough to stop on the way to the train station at McDonalds. McD’s is better in Russia. We got Big Macs and McChicken yum yum. We slept like babies…about 4 hrs the first time, and were awakened by our 2nd passenger, looking for bed 15, I vaguely heard the attendant directing him to bed 25 and he was fine with that. I Praise the Lord. I cannot even express how grateful I am that we have our own Cabin.

Caleb is still sleeping. Michael and I had our first supper. Bologna and cheese sandwiches with mayonnaise. The mayonnaise is better in Russia. Oh and I bought each of us a small can of Pringles. Cheese and sour cream and paprika. I love the grapefruit flavored water here too. The Kit kats were placed near the heater, so sadly they were melted. We moved them to the little fold out table that comes out from the window and folds down, in front of the window, it wont take long for them to freeze here. SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP, I love to sleep. I feel sorry for people who have trouble sleeping. I never have and I am grateful. Especially on the train, my goodness, the heat and the continuous rocking and bumping just lulls me to sleep. I think the train will be majic for jetlag. After waking tue, wed, and thurs at 3 am every day in Moscow. Going back to sleep now.

Thoughts go to my children now. Reagan had a week of early classes. So glad it is Friday for him and near the end of his college career. He has worked so hard this last trimester trying to get through and finish. Seems like yesterday we brought him back for college, but it’s been over 5 years. Crazy. My heart is blessed that no matter what, he loves Jesus and seeks to cling to Him and obey Him. Lord, please work out Your perfect will in his and Robin’s marriage, a beautiful covenant a picture of Your salvation, redemption, reconcilliation...A picture of love, forgiveness and keeping commitments.

I hope they all know how much we love them, think of them and pray for them.

Lord, give them a good weekend. I think Reagan and Bryan were going to play some disc golf. It was so special for Bryan to get them all involved in something together while we were there. Michael and Caleb continued to improve. Reagan caught on really quick as he always does, he wasn’t sure he would like it at first, but learned to enjoy it. Bryan was already really good and doing really well in tournaments. The weather in MS was perfect and very warm, even up until the day we left (80 F)

Both Reagan and Bryan were very intentional about spending time with each of us, but especially with Caleb over the past 6 months, what a blessing and example his big brothers are. Lord, help Caleb to adjust to leaving them again and now Grace and returning to Russia. Thank you for giving him a love for Russia, so that the transition is not so hard for him. It is such a miracle how you have given each of our children peace about living overseas through the years. I am so grateful for that. I can’t imagine how much harder it would be if they were fighting against your will. Give Caleb courage and boldness, and continue to grow him up into the man You desire, to have a desire to love You above all else and serve You his whole life.

I wonder how sweet Hannah and little Eli are doing. I hope he is doing good and I have been praying for him to start sleeping all night for his mommy. She is such an amazing mommy. Bryan is such a good little daddy. What a blessing to know your grandchild will be raised in a Godly home, so very thankful. Lord, keep their marriage strong and help them to always love and serve You. Help them to always honor you in their marriage and family.

I wonder how Grace’s clinic visit in Africa went today and her TLW sessions in schools this week. She absolutely loves it! I absolutely love that she loves it. What joy to see your kids enjoy helping others, telling others and just serving their lives out for Him. She told us this week that after much much prayer she is 99.9 percent sure that she wants to go to Carey and major in nursing. She has applied at both Liberty and Carey. Honestly her daddy and I were both surprised. We really thought she would choose Liberty, but she is convinced that God wants her at Carey for some reason. She is so sweet, she wrote each of notes and gave them to us at the airport, then sent another one before we left MS…she made me promise not to go into her empty room alone without daddy. I still think I might want to move to another apartment. We will pray and see what the Lord says. I am praying for His peace. I know, that I know, that He will give it. Lord, keep Grace obedient and following hard after you, pursuing You, knowing you and making You known.

I am going to pray myself to sleep now.

TRANSIBERIAN ADVENTURE DAY 1 PART 2

2012-02-12T14:26:00.002+10:00

DAY 1 PART 2

FRIDAY 2:19 PM

As usual God has surprised me, though I don’t deserve it, with my stinky attitude earlier today. Frances helped keep me from complaining at my husband haha. There was one whole cabin available, but before the lady finished typing our names in, one of the beds were gone. We prayed together when he returned, for His will even if it was to have guests that we would be good witnesses and understand that He is in control. Michael, my brilliant husband, decided we would go really early (if dear sweet Frances didn’t mind) and try to buy an extra bed in the same wagon but different cabin. We prayed, and he was able to buy an extra bed and on the bottom. So this solved both problems, we have an extra bed to put our luggage in the same kupet with us, and we were going to be able to have privacy. We are wagon 7, cabin 4, beds 13 -16 (bed 15 has been purchased by someone all the way to our city) We bought bed 25 just a couple of cabins down and a bottom bunk so it would be what that person or those persons purchased (plus it was not near the bathroom) Trust me, you do not want to travel by train near the bathrooms… (picture below)

Our taxi driver was really nice and helpful. (Frances picture below)

Our train attendants are nice too. They first thought we were French. One of them said hello to us in French. She noticed our names on our passports “Patricia and Michelle” hahaha… One of them is striking with really dark hair.. Her name is Victoria – Vika. They seem to think it won’t be a problem if others get on to direct them to switch to bed 25. They were really surprised we were going all the way to the end. They couldn’t believe all our “stuff” and that it all fit in the kupet with us. Michael and Caleb have become masters at packing luggage- 3 footlockers, 3 duffle bags, one large suitcase, and all our carryons and computer bag. (pic below)

Frances took me to the store, so add to that 2 large bags of groceries for the train. We are not first timers on the train, but this will be the longest we have ever travelled, before this trip it was 52 hours. This one is supposed to be 4 days and 11 hours.

Reagan was our first Siberian railway traveler. He went to Irkutsk in summer of 2005 to spend the summer with the Edges and help them in ministry. What a trooper, just he and his guitar and all by himself at only 18. Reagan was on the same train for over 4 days. At least we have each other, and privacy haha.

Our children are such adventurers. Grace is 18 and in Africa for goodness sakes. Oh the places the Lord has already taken them.

I love the train, I mean I really love the train. I love airplanes too, and traveling. What a strange one I think I am sometimes. I love being home, I love travelling, I love being with others and I love being alone.

So, we are riding the railway across Russia. It’s just as one would think. Lots of snow: a mixture of villages, towns and cities, cabins, apartments (not many of these) and tons of spruce, cedar, pine and birch trees, covered in ice and snow.(pic below)

The bathroom is closed. Go, go I really need to go. Why am I writing this…wayyy too much time. Actually it is pretty interesting, if you have never ridden the train. They close the bathrooms when we get close to a town or village. (because the waste goes straight through a hole in the floor of the bathroom and onto the tracks. Now isn’t that a lovely thought? (Pic below)

Michael just had his first cup of tea, Princess Noorah, our favorite. Tea just tastes better in Russia. I chose well at the store, let’s see we have: sliced bread, what a novelty for Russia. 12 years ago, if you wanted sliced bread, you sliced it yourself. 4 years ago in Siberia the same, but now, we have moved up in the world. That’s why people say “better than sliced bread”. I also got Kalbasa Doktorskaya (bologna) It tastes better here too. I got sliced cheese, crackers, coffee, sugar, creamer, kit kats, m&m’s, instant potatoes (kartoshki) and soups (lapsha).

Our cabin. Each kupet has four beds and door that closes and locks, with a mirror on the inside. There are night lights over each bed as well as a big light in the center of the ceiling. On the side walls of each bed there is a little basket attached to put things in. I put my journal, a pen, my soduku, my Bible and book on one side and my wipies, shampoo toiletries on the other side. My purse fits behind my pillow, behind my head and mattress, up against the end where the window to the outside is.

We just passed some Russian chicken houses. So interesting…didnt have time to get a picture before I realized it and passed them. They look nothing like ours in America. The Russian chickens live in style in Siberia, it’s only brick for them. Our chicken houses growing up would not hold up to the Siberian winter here. All we had to do was put plastic on the outside in our MS winters haha…I cant imagine picking up eggs in the winter here….brrrr.

We are having temps right now in the – 20’s. It was only about -1 F in Moscow when we left. We saw a forecast of + for when we arrive in our city, but I don’t believe it. We did not take our Siberian clothes to MS in July when we left, so we will see. Just yesterday one of our friends wrote that temps had been -40’s F last week. So we are praying for a warm front (topli front) of only -15 to hit before we arrive, Dai Bog (Lord willing).

TRANSIBERIAN ADVENTURE DAY 1 PART 1

2012-02-11T12:52:00.003+10:00

January 27, 2012…

It’s Friday, It's early. Been waking up at 3 am every day we have been in Moscow. We have to leave for the train station at about 10 am. Today we begin our journey…mixed emotions of excitement, apprehension, and immense mourning. Excitement for what awaits us in our city/region: seeing Sasha, seeing friends, being back in ministry and going into the villages, sharing Christ. Apprehension in not knowing what battles we or our family might be facing in the coming year, and mourning as I leave behind our kids, our family and especially Grace and Eli. I know in my heart of hearts that He will take care of everything. He always does. His faithfulness is unmatched. I will have faith in His faithfulness for all these emotions, all these feelings.

We spent all day yesterday getting our passports taken care of. It was exhausting and we missed our lunch date with Deanna and Jeremy and kids because of it. Not thrilled about that. Plus it was so cold. We waited outside the embassy for over 30 minutes and when not properly dressed, that’s a long time. When we finally got in after 9 am, they were very helpful, but we didn’t get out of there until 1 pm. We went back to the Courson’s, after stopping at McDonalds (she had the table all set for us for lunch) such a sweetie. We brought her a chicken sandwich instead. I fell asleep on the couch and Michael went out to buy our train tickets, which took the rest of the day for him. Frances took Caleb with her, Robert, messed up his ankle and they spent all day at the Doctors with him and Rose…bless their hearts. Seems it was a day for waiting.

We did get our tickets for the infamous Trans Siberian Railway…As always, (at least lately) it seems not ever quite what we expected. There were no available Kupets (cabins) for four. There are only the 3 of us now, Me, Michael and our dear sweet Caleb. We so wanted to pay for the 4th bed so we could have a whole cabin. We also found out that what we had researched about luggage was wrong. We were under the assumption that we were allowed a great deal more and could put our luggage in cargo for no extra/or low cost, which was one of the reasons we did this. It happens that our particular train does not have cargo. We did find out that we have about 30 lbs over what is allowed and who knows where it will be stored. OH SUCH NEGATIVE RAMBLINGS!!

As I write, the Lord brings a song to my heart: “God will make a way when there seems to be no way, He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me.” He is my very present help!!

RETURN FROM STAS: PREAMBLE TO AN ADVENTURE

2012-02-11T10:31:00.005+10:00

I decided to blog my journal from our last adventure. We returned from STAS on January 23.

We enjoyed being in Moscow for a few days with the Courson Family, minus Kris and Kristen :( We just love them to pieces. We hadn't seen Rose the last couple of times we came through so that was a special treat. They always treat us like family, and our family like family :) just 2 years ago, they hosted our whole clan that came to serve in the Pastor's camp, thats cause we are family. We love getting to sleep on their couch (that was our couch) hahaha. I will never forget the first time we met Kris, before they came as missionaries...he came to Moscow and sat in our home and asked us about serving in Moscow with our kids etc...I guess we did a good job of showing him that if we could do it, they could, or God just had His way despite our failure to convey that they could do it and their kids would be just fine. AND THAT THEY ARE...SO GLAD WE DIDN'T RUN THEM OFF !!

While traveling on a bus one day, Frances and I saw the cutest little old man and snuck this picture of him for Grace (she and I share an infatuation and admiration for little old men)

...And we got to see the Pulliams too, our family twice removed haha...it had been a loooong time since we had seen them (about a month hee hee) Well, it had been a long time since we had seen them in Moscow at least. It was so fun to be in there home again, like old times, minus 5 of our children. CRAZINESS... Now two of our kids are married (to each other) and we share a grandbaby. The first time we met the Pulliams was in Moscow. The whole family took our whole family shopping at a vietnamese renok for indoor shoes for the boys at Hinkson ( who ever heard of needing indoor shoes anyway) what a sight we must have been trapsing through that renok looking for shoes. I remember asking Karla a hundred times how to say 33 (thritst thri) Reagan's size...I remember how astonished I was at how great they had adjusted and with 5 young children, and Stephen was just a baby. My heroes. I was like wow, they speak so well and ... later realized they had only been there a few months before us. Then I was really impressed. It is always fun to be the "veteran" missionary, even if it just a few months. haha. We were surprised that they had a banya in their new apartment, so we girls had to try it out :)

We are so blessed to have such good friends on the mission field. We will never take it for granted. They are forever friends whether they come or go. 12 years on the field have seen many dear friends come and go,for as many reasons as one could imagine, mostly because God calls them to serve in different places, and some even come back again. We have had the privilege in the past few years of coming through the capital of staying with The Tarletons, The Stameys, The Coursons...and invites from others...

what a blessing to have family wherever we are. We never forget and we always miss those who are no longer with us, or no longer in Moscow. We made a decision to return to Siberia by train before we left MS. The decision was for 4 reasons: We could bring in extra bags and only pay extra in Jackson, we could spend time together with just Caleb, we could get used to the time change and weather, gradually, and we have always wanted to travel extensivily on the train.We needed to stay a couple of days so that we could apply for new passports. Ours will expire in 2 years, and because we need new visas, we need them to be attached to the new passports. We couldnt get our tickets until we got that taken care of. Our plan was to purchase an entire Kupet (a cabin with four beds-two on top and two on bottom)so that we would not have any "guests" and we could also use the extra space for luggage. GREAT PLAN, RIGHT ?? THUS BEGINS OUR JOURNEY :) I DO HOPE YOU ENJOY.

PASTORS FAMILY CAMP 2010

2012-02-10T16:49:00.001+10:00

PASTORS FAMILY CAMP 2010

We are very excited about being able to host the Pastor's Family Camp again this year. If you or your church would like to know how you can be involved by praying, coming and giving, write us at our email micpat@pobox.com and we will send you all information. Please pray and consider how He can use you to encourage, equip and renew these families for continued service in a really hard place.

Stateside July 2011 - Jan 2012

2012-02-08T20:51:00.045+10:00

We had a great stateside. Plenty of time with family and getting to meet our sweet new grandbaby, Eli, who was born on December 1. He is perfect and beautiful and well, what else can I say. We are over the moon, head over hills, our cups runneth over in love with this boy.

We were only in the states a couple of weeks before it was time to take our third child, our only daughter, Grace to college. The Lord led her to a wonderful place for her first year of college. She is participating in FUSION. www.gofusion.ws at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Kansas City, MO. She spent the first semester training in all sorts of ways to be prepared to go to the nations. She is now in Africa with 5 other special beautiful young ladies, learning and teaching and loving. We have an absolute peace where she is with the Father and how she has a heart to serve Him, wherever she is. Letting them go isn't near as hard, when you know they are abiding in Him. She met some amazing leaders and young people who are like minded: passionate for Christ and telling others about Him.

We were so excited to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas in the states. It has been 8 years since we have been in MS for Thanksgiving and only once back for Christmas in those 8 years.

The best part was being there for our grandson's first Christmas and he was actually dedicated that day. Michael and Jeff were able to participate in the special service. What a joy for us to be there along with our dear friends, and his other grandparents, the Pulliams. We had an amazing month of December with them all.

We even got to go to a tree farm with the Pulliams, what a fun time !!

While we were there, Bryan showed us one of his new hobbies, Disc Golf. Reagan, Caleb and Michael quickly caught on with Bryan as an excellent coach. They spent many days and hours playing together and really enjoyed their Dad/brother times.

Caleb even won 1st place for his age group in a tournament he played in for his birthday. It was only his second tournament...he was so excited. Hard to believe he is 15, but he is. We were glad to be able to stay in the states to celebrate his birthday with everyone.

We had fun times as a family like paint ball wars, Grace loved this time with her brothers and Hannah and I laughed watching :)

We were also blessed to be able to share in a lot of churches. We were in over 20 churches sharing about what the Lord has been doing in Siberia. It was wonderful to gain so many new prayer partners, and very special to be able to update so many who have been partnering with us since we first came to serve in Russia. We are so blessed to have people praying for us, the work He has called us to do, and for the heroes in our region that we get to serve alongside, as well as the many many lost who have still not heard the good news.

As always, goodbyes are never easy, but we know we are being obedient and we know that He holds each of our kids and now grandson and our family in His hands. He loves our family more than we do, and the people here need Jesus.

STAS TICKETS....BOO-YAY

2011-05-07T13:00:00.005+10:00

Wow, it has been a while...

My name is Patsy, I have a blog, I confess I am too busy for a blog, not really, I am just a procrastinator... I am ashamed to say that it has been 3 months since my last blog post...

We bought our STAS tickets today(for those who dont know) that is short for Stateside Assignment (formerly known as furlough). On one hand it is super exciting, on the other, sort of a downer, SO BOO-YAY...

Why oh why does my life have to be filled with so many mixed emotions.

I love my family there. I love America. I love American soil. I love American English. I cannot tell you the number of times we have returned and just hearing the southern accents in Houston or Atlanta airports, bring tears flooding. I remember once how we helped translate a conversation between a Britian, who spoke perfect british English, and a sweet black Georgia lady. Michael felt so "important and needed" He still loves to tell that story.

I also remember traveling back once in July and there was the sweetest Russian couple, who traveled all the way from Moscow with us to Jackson MS for the first time. They spoke no English. What fun it was to help them on the plane to communicate and tell them about our wonderful state. We tried to warn them of the July temps/humidity, but they just didnt get it... We made sure to stay close to them so that we could see their expressions when they entered the outside. It was priceless and indescribable, like someone had taken their last breath as they tried to breath in the wonderful Ms summer air (or lack thereof). They literaly gasped and looked at us like, "Do people actually live here?" I must admit, I felt a little revenge and pride. Yep, cause we felt the same thing when we got off the plane in our city in January last year and it was already -30 F. Amazing how we can adapt, huh?

Yes, I love STAS, I get to see my mama, and now our grown boys and their wives, and other family and friends. It is a feeling like no other. I cannot even begin to explain the silly things we miss. I once cried when the walmart greeter said, "Welcome to Walmart!" She had no idea how her words touched this crazy woman's heart.I really wanted to hug her, but refrained, thank God.

BUT... STAS brings on another opposite flood of emotions. We will miss our little apartment, our little stores, our church, ministries, our many friends and ministry partners here. They have become like family and it will be hard to say goodbye. Especially since every time we have ever left, they honestly think we might not come back and the grief is like saying goodbye for forever sometimes. Even our closest family friends think we are crazy for choosing to live here and still shake their heads in disbelief at how much we love it here. We will miss speaking and hearing Russian. We will miss the beautiful fall months, but still plenty of winter will be waiting when we return in January.

It will be even harder this time as we will be leaving our Sasha for almost 6 months. My heart aches that he cannot go back with us, but there is nothing we can do and it seems that it is His plan and we will just have to accept it as such and trust Him. He is after all, totally and completely trustworthy and has proved Himself adequate in caring for us in every way, even when we didnt completely understand. Grace said yesterday that he asked for her phone to call "Mama" oh be still my heart. Love is a beautiful thing. Being called "Mama" by my four children and now by our Sasha, is a miraculous blessing.

And like the last 2 STAS times (i get a lump in my throat just writing this) we will leave our third child charm in the states for the beginning of her journey without us. It will be good to be there with her for 6 months, sort of near her, 14 hr drive away, but the hardest part of all will be returning to our apartment next January without her. It proved true with both boys and will be just as true this time.

Well, I will not think or even write of that now !! I am blessed beyond measure !!

Praying for all my readers to be blessed and be a blessing on this Mother's Day. Pray for someone who has lost their mother, pray for someone who wants to be a mother, but for whatever reason isnt, cant or couldnt, pray for someone who has adopted children. Pray for someone who is newly expecting (if you dont know anyone, pray for our sweet Hannah)

FLU SEASON FOR THE HOLYFIELDS HAS ENDED

2011-02-28T10:07:00.002+09:00

I think it is safe and I am extremely happy to report that the cold/flu or whatever it was season in our home is finally coming to a halt.

It hits us about this time every year. Last year it was March, this year February, not a whole lot of difference, since the temperatures here in the Far East dont change much from feb - april. We have had many more sunny days and many more warmer temperatures. It even got up to + 16 F this past week. Our region has as many sunny days as Sochi (on the black sea) and almost as many as Mississippi. That is a special treat and great improvement over the first 8 years we served in Moscow. Even if it is -40 F in the coldest part of our winter, having sunshine makes it bearable. Living in a small apartment in dead winter, we are all sure to get it.

We dont go to the doctor, so we pretty much "self diagnose", treat the symptoms and wait for it to pass. Between the 5 of us, we had all the symptoms you can imagine: headache, fever, congestion, swollen glands, runny itchy watery eyes, diarrhea, coughing, sneezing, body aches, low grade fever. Caleb had signs of bronchitis, so put him on antibiotics. Michael had signs of sinus infection, so put him on antibiotics, and Grace woke up after 4 days fever free with another fever and swollen glands, so started her on them just in case. (we can still buy them over the counter here, but dont do unless we feel absolutely necessary)

3 PLUS wks of fever (started feb 6) first caleb, then me, then grace, then Sasha, then Michael, he is in the last days, hopefully completely fever/symptom free tomorrow. Its been a long season this year.

My rough calculations of the damage of the "sick" season this year:

4 boxes of Theraflu
1 box of daytime/nighttime nyquil cold tablets
12 packs of softer tissue
1 large jar of home collected honey
3 fresh lemons
MORE TEABAGS THAN I WOULD BE ABLE TO GUESSTIMATE
4 packs of halls cough drops
4 boxes of amoxicillan (caleb, michael and grace, just in case it was an infection)
Lots of Juice, fruit and homemade soups (especially chicken noodle)
This year I even tried all the home remedies I knew of: eating powdered cinnamon, eating honey, lemon tea, garlic (around the house and eating it)
All the same it just had to run its course.

It's not all bad though, in times of fever/sickness, we are forced to stay in to rest, and get well, and so as not infect others. Because of that, I spent more time praying, interceding, studying, reading, reflecting, and even though we all felt bad alot of the time, we enjoyed playing games, watching a few old movies and just having lots of good talks.

I have realized through the years, that if I am even more intentional in the "sick" days, we can draw closer to God and each other as a family, and their are many rewards. And the best part of all is when I finally feel like a human being again, it makes me all the more grateful for wellness, getting out of the house to buy groceries,fellowship with believers,returning to regular exercise, and even returning to some of the mundane household chores that I didn't get done, or didn't have the energy to do well, becomes a joy (well, maybe not a joy, but more pleasurable)

KEEP WATCH, STAND, LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF GOD

2011-02-27T14:52:00.008+09:00

below is the publishers description of Rob Bell's next book, Love Wins: Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived:

"Fans flock to his Facebook page, his NOOMA videos have been viewed by millions, and his Sunday sermons are attended by 10,000 parishioners—with a downloadable podcast reaching 50,000 more. An electrifying, unconventional pastor whom Time magazine calls “a singular rock star in the church world,” Rob Bell is the most vibrant, central religious leader of the millennial generation. Now, in Love Wins: Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived, Bell addresses one of the most controversial issues of faith—the afterlife—arguing that a loving God would never sentence human souls to eternal suffering. With searing insight, Bell puts hell on trial, and his message is decidedly optimistic—eternal life doesn’t start when we die; it starts right now. And ultimately, Love Wins."

FROM PATSY:

I havent personally read his new book, so dont know if he really puts "hell on trial" or if he really is teaching that God would never sentence humans to eternal suffering, but reading it did prompt me to write about some things that have been on my heart lately. Let it be noted, that I am not for or against any man, I am for God. I am not concerned about the reputation for the name of men, but the reputation of the name of God.

I actually havent read any of his books, so I dont even have a pro con opinion about him. I do remember the first time I heard of him, back in 2003/2004. Michael and I read as much about him that was on the internet at the time, and some of his writings, and both of us were uneasy in our spirits. We watched one of his videos, and while there was nothing overwhelmingly "false" in his teaching, we warned our teenage boys at the time, that while he was very smooth and captivating, the Holy Spirit gave our spirits a warning about him...and pointed them away from him/his teaching...We also remember visiting churches with our oldest, while on furlough in 2006, when he started college and seeing posters of elvis all through the church advertising his book.I must admit it felt odd to see posters of elvis all over... Again, we sensed uneasy spirits. It is very important to filter every teaching through the Word of God, not what is popular at the moment.

On this subject,we, as Christians should be very careful about flocking to any man. BETTER TO FLOCK TO JESUS. STUDY HIS WORD, AND ASK FOR WISDOM, BEFORE FOLLOWING AFTER STRANGE DOCTRINES, OR MEN WHO TWIST OR DISTORT SCRIPTURE. YOU WONT KNOW IF YOU ARE NOT IN HIS WORD.

LOVE DOESNT WIN, GOD WINS.

GOD IS MOST DEFINITELY A LOVING GOD, A MERCIFUL FORGIVING GOD, AND FULL OF GRACE. HE IS MOST DEFINITELY A HOLY JUST GOD, AND A JEALOUS GOD, AND HE WILL MOST DEFINITELY DO ALL HE HAS SAID HE WILL DO (HIS GOOD WORDS AS WELL AS HIS THREATS); INCLUDING CAST SATAN, HIS DEMONS AND ANYONE ELSE WHO DENIES HIM / JESUS CHRIST, AND FOLLOWS AFTER ANY OTHER god, INTO A REAL HELL, FOR ETERNAL SUFFERING. IF ANYONE TEACHES ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT, THEY ARE LIARS.

IT SEEMS THE THEME OF MY HEART AND BURDEN AND POSTS LATELY IS FOR US,THE CHURCH OF CHRIST, TO WAKE UP, KEEP WATCH, STAND, LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF GOD. GO BY WHAT GOD SAYS AND PROMISES AND WE WILL NOT BE ASHAMED.

God Forgive Us

2011-02-25T23:48:00.003+09:00

Chrislam ??

I read an article from a blog that my friend posted recently about this “movement” and about a prominent church leader attending a conference for Muslims.Dont know all the facts, so I dont want to mislead anyone. My first thought was a prayer that it wasn’t true. My second thought was that if it wasn’t true, it will be soon. So, I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to at least attempt to address it and alot of things that studying His Word and prayer and fasting have led me to share, and that I have been burdened about for some time now.

We are living in the end days, a big falling away, my friends, and if we aren’t, it should be a wakeup call to the church that we are not standing for Christ and the things of God, like we should be. We do not know the year, day or hour when Jesus, the Judge, will return, but He will return, and the church needs to be ready to meet her groom. I don’t know what all was said at such an event, but I pray that if I were allowed/called on to speak before such a group of unbelievers, that I would have the boldness, courage, and His anointing to proclaim God’s truth, the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To know the Son, Jesus Christ, is to know God the Father. Jesus said that if you have seen Him, then you have seen the Father. The Bible is clear that there is no other name above the name of Jesus, where by anyone can be saved. God set the standards for having a relationship with and worshipping/ pleasing Him, not man. God decides what is right, just, and holy, not man. This decision must be made now, on this earth for it to last into eternity. He is clear in His Word, the Old Testament and the New Testament about what He abhors, hates, and what He loves. God never changes and His standards never change, whether people agree, follow, or like them. He is the creator and He sets the rules. He keeps His word (promises, blessings, curses, threats and destruction eternal life (heaven or hell)

Dear people, God doesn’t care how good, wellmeaning, passionate, kind, morale, sincere, happy, unbiased, un-judging , loving, peaceful you are, or how well you preach, sing or play in church one bit IF you have never come to HIM according to His standards, admitted to Him that you are a sinner, and separated from Him because of your sin. He doesn’t care one bit about what you do or say you do in Jesus’ name if you have never approached Him through faith in Jesus Christ alone, and repented of your sins. He doesn’t care how much you give to the church or to the poor, if you deny HIS SON JESUS CHRIST as your personal Lord and Saviour, your only hope for redemption. Belief, trust, faith and completely surrender to Jesus Christ. He is your only hope for reconciling with the Holy, just, jealous God of the BIBLE (the Father of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob). No matter what you do or don’t do, you could never deserve God’s grace, it is a gift, but don’t be mistaken, it was not free it cost Him everything, He was persecuted, disagreed with, laughed at, made fun of, and worse. He chose to give His all, and He expects and demands us to count the cost and expects no less for those who choose to follow Him.

My Prayer in these days:

Dear Father God,

Please forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing. Forgive us as a people, a church and a nation for holding to a form of “godliness” but having unclean hearts and unholy lives. God please help us to repent from turning away from You and Your truth to follow after unsound teaching, false teaching, lies. We are ignorant sheep, who need You to guide us in Your truth. Pour out Your mercy, Your grace and Your forgiveness for our sins, and the sins we have ignored and allowed in our country, our churches, our families and ourselves. Give us pure hearts and minds to love You, and others. Father, the church of America wouldn’t be prepared for a revival right now even if You sent one, because we have failed to honor Your name, failed to possess our possessions, claim Your promises, study and live by Your Word. We have done what is right in our own eyes,and condoned sin in the camp: Idolatry, lying, gossiping, unbelief, homosexuality, unforgiveness, abortion, adultery, stealing, not feeding the poor, not sharing the Gospel, pride, divorce, not caring for the widow and the orphan, gluttony, violence, lust, pornography, unforgiveness, bitterness, drunkenness, rage, putting worthless garbage before our eyes and in our minds, not studying/obeying Your Word, not teaching truth to our church, our children. God we have stopped hating what you hate and loving what You love. We allow junk in our homes and call it harmless entertainment. God forgive us for caring more about what our peers, cultures think than what You think. God, we fail to live by what You say in Your Word, the Bible, and to believe Your promises,and we forget to praise You for all You have done. We grumble and complain and I am so ashamed for us. LORD God, please forgive us for wandering around during time of spiritual war, and not being ready to fight, on our knees in prayer/fasting, crying out to You. Lord we need You, Your grace, Your mercy, Your boldness, Your courage and Your strength. We need to abide in You, to have Your wisdom to know when to keep silent, when to speak out, when to fight, when to rest and wait on You. Your Word teaches that when we fully obey, You will win the battles for us, and give us rest, but when we turn away from You, You will leave us to our sinful ways and allow the enemy to take us. Give us obedient, repentant hearts. Help us to not be afraid or ashamed to take a stand for you. Raise up women, men, youth, children to proclaim TRUTH to our nation, to all nations. Help us to live lives of purity, and that are worthy of the Gospel, for Your glory, to not be ashamed of Jesus Christ, and to not bring shame to His name, that we claim as Christians. Lord, help us in every situation, to step back and look at things through the filter of Your Holy Word. We have become so afraid of being accused of being unkind or seen as judging, that we have forgotten YOUR STANDARD. Lord, we know we are sinners and we cannot live perfect lives, sometimes I cant even see my own sins, but through Your Holy Spirit, You can show me. Help me Lord, to examine my heart, and allow You and Your Word to examine my heart, mind, life in view of Your standard, and repent. Turn our hearts toward You. You Word says that man's goodness is as filthy rags, because You are so holy. I know You will cleanse me from all unrighteousness, as You have promised. You are faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Give me a pure, clean heart, Lord, today and every day. Help me to worship You in Spirit and in truth. I am nothing without You, and with You, a daughter of the KING. You alone are worthy to be praised. God, I know You will keep Your covenant of lovingkindess to those who love You and keep Your commandments. In the name of Jesus Christ and by His perfect righteous blood that was poured out for my sins, and the sins all the people in all the world, Who died on the cross, to conquer Satan, and took on Himself the punishment that I deserve, and conquered sin and death by rising again just as You had written, do whatever it takes for Your people to return to You. Lord, please have mercy on us! Amen

We've Never Passed This Way Before

2011-02-23T11:50:00.006+09:00

Michael made it home, he is exhausted and with fever. A good ole southern meal awaited him: Fried chicken, green beans, rice and gravy, biscuits and apple crips.

Please pray that he will get well soon. Pray that he has no fever on Friday. He and the preaching team is travelling to Town Z Sat/Sun for the end of the month service there and in two other villages "T", and "Y". I asked him last night if he should cancel and he said no, he promised and they are waiting for him.

The rest of us are finally well and ready to take care of him.

One of the highlights after Daddy's trips is when we sit around and hear his stories and watch video/pictures. We loved hearing some of his stories last night and watching a little video and seeing a few pictures.

He said at one point, they drove for 18 hrs straight in one part of the trip, and only saw 3 vehicles along the road, and no villages or gas stations (they had 150 liters of gas in jugs with them)

In parts of the trip, they traveled on some frozen lakes/rivers, some of the places had hot springs shooting up along side them, and holes/cracks in the ice, that they had to drive around, and the bridges were what seemed impossible to cross. (like the Jordan, or the Red Sea). Some of the roads were narrow, with lots of holes/bumps and as they drove on unfamiliar road, they did not know what might be around the bend. They had flat tires, fender bender, close calls, got stuck, heater malfunctions and more, all in -30 F weather.

The Lord gave them so much wisdom of when to turn off and go a different way, when to turn around and go back, and when to "rebuild the bridge" before crossing. They were in constant communion with Him as to where to go, when to continue on and when to stop. Just like our spiritual lives; our journey. The road of life. When we choose to follow Jesus, it isnt always "smooth" traveling on cruise control. There is a spiritual war to battle, physical/emotional/mental pains to bear, sins to conquer, and tragedies to face. God takes us places that we have never passed before, when we are following hard after Him.

All along the way, the road at times is unfamiliar, with dangers along the way (seen and unseen). There are stretches of time in our lives when it seems we travel the road alone, and dangerous bridges to cross to get to the other side. There are unexpected bumps and holes to dodge and get around, sins to confess, problems to solve, relationships that need special mending/attention/reconciliation, decisions to make. Sometimes we need to plan ahead and take enough provisions, and sometimes we have to rest in Him and wait in Him to provide. Sometimes He sends others to help us along the way and sometimes, He teaches us He is all we need.

When we are fully obedient not turning to the right or left, in constant communion with Him and seeking for His counsel, in His Word; He is with us, fighting for us, guiding us, giving us direction, whispering, turn left, turn right, stop here, wait on Me, turn around, go around/detour, repent (change your course), move forward, repair the breach, cross over. And always speaking "Be strong and Courageous", and "Do not fear, I am with you.", and "Be careful to obey all I have commanded you."

The video footage I saw made me even more sure that God was protecting and watching over them. He is faithful.

MEN AND THEIR ADVENTEROUS NATURES.

It was a great trip, but unfortunately little fruit to be seen at this point. He said those villages/people were the “coldest” less interested he has seen since our arrival 3 years ago. That just means to us that they need Jesus all the more, and gives us even more urgency to get to all the people in our region without Him. Only 2 or 3 people showed up at the 3 concerts/services, and one lady for sure repented, but it was and is always worth it even for just one. We are reminded that Jesus died for ONE and all. If you were the only person on earth, you are worth His mercy, grace, love and forgiveness. He counts each of us worthy, though we are not deserving.

While door to door witnessing many people received His Word, and heard the Gospel for the first time. We all know He promises that His Word will not return void. So continue to pray with us for the Holy Spirit to touch their hearts. Also pray for Alexei and his family serving in such a “hard” place with little fruit to be obedient, faithful and have courage to press on and not be discouraged, fearful or dismayed.

THANKS FOR READING (IF ANYONE IS READING) AND SHARING IN THE STORIES/WORK/LIFE HE HAS BLESSED ME WITH HERE IN SIBERIA.

Pray for us to be faithful, fully obedient, strong, courageous, bold servants of Jesus, and to persevere to the end,

Wherever you are on this journey, I pray you are fully obeying, following hard after Jesus and totally abiding in Him as He takes you places in your life that you may have never passed before, for His glory !

12 Stones - Remembering all The Lord has Done

2011-01-28T23:17:00.002+09:00

I was reading a blog today written by an adult MK and she was talking about all the transitions, moves, and goodbyes that a missionary family, specifically an MK experiences. It got me to thinking back and reflecting on our “mission trip” (as a local MS paper put it when we left for the field in 1999, over 11 years ago)
In August we will have lived 12 years on the mission field. While we have only moved 3 times in those 12 years, there have been many changes and adjustments due to our mission work, and lots and lots of sad goodbyes, though I prefer to call them “see you laters”.

We moved to the mission field (Russia) when our oldest son, Reagan, was 12, our son Bryan was 10, our daughter, Grace was 6 and our youngest son, Caleb was 2. Michael and I had been married a little over 14 years, and we were 33 and 34 years old.

We left a very close knit large family on both sides. They were very supportive and encouraging about our call, which to this day has been a real blessing in our lives. All total there were 2 sets of grandparents, one living great grandparent, 10aunts and uncles and 14 first cousins, a score of other relatives and not to mention loving church members/friends that we and our children left behind.

I can’t even tell you how many people saw us off at the airport our first time leaving Jackson MS. The tears could have filled up a small pond, I’m sure.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was most definitely sick. I thought it might be nerves, but it ended up being a stomach virus. It began on the plane and lasted through a couple of airports/layovers, and several walk-by throw up visits to garbage cans all along the way. I left Mississippi with dreams of leaving a mark on the world; and that I did, in every airport terminal along the way. It was the first of many times my “missionary halo”, as I like to call it, would be stripped off and thrown down. Yet somehow, we succeeded in making every connection, and after a long hot ride in an un air conditioned van, we ended at our home for the next 5 weeks, the international learning center. After a couple of days, I was feeling better. Our oldest would battle bronchitis the entire 5 weeks, and our other children would also catch every virus humanly possible, and each were given no less 14 vaccinations to prepare us for whatever else we might face when arriving to our field of service. Somewhere along the way maybe after 3 or 4 times, our kids would realize when we picked them up early on Fridays from class, that the weekend would be tainted by fever and irritability from shots and somehow after the first or second shot, the cute little balloons and stickers didn’t mean much. We laugh now and say our ILC experience was just the culture shock we needed to prepare for overseas living. Despite all that, we were so excited and not the least bit hesitant or unmoved from the passionate call to go to Russia. We were being prepared and trained and we were excited. It was so encouraging to meet other like minded people/families.

We and our children bonded very quickly with other missionaries and other MK’s. I mean really, who couldn’t relate to a group of adults/kids who had all the same shots, sold their homes, all their belongings in garage sales, left behind everything “normal” they had ever known, as well as their culture, language, family/friends/church, packed everything they had left to their names in black footlockers, which had to weigh less than 70lbs each, and a back pack, not having a clue where there were going, where they would live, what they would eat.

Though we only moved 3 times, which is minimal for most missionaries, we had many changes, transitions, and the worst part goodbyes. I calculated that out of 12 years, we returned back to the states a total of 8 times, equaling right at 2 years. 1 yr and 4 months of that time was stateside assignments (formerly known as furloughs). In our first 1 year STAS, we shared in 50 churches and over 52 times, including conferences and GA/RA camps as a family. We went to Disney World, had vacations with and spent a lot of time with both sides of our family, taught our oldest how to drive. The kids played summer sports, attended camps, and all 4 kids homeschooled that year as well. It was amazing, and crazy, but after a year, we were all ready to return to the field. 4 months of the 1y 4 mo time, we used our yearly 30 day vacations, one for Christmas after being on the field 2 yrs, 30 days for Bryan’s wedding, and 30 days for Reagan’s wedding, we took every opportunity to share in churches during those days. 4 months of that time was spent in the states for security/safety/visa reasons (our family refers to that time as “exile”). During exile we were unable to speak in churches or contact friends/relatives, other than minimal visits with immediate family or to stay in the same place for very long. 2 weeks after returning to the field, my daddy had a massive stroke, so we took our 30 day vacation to return for last days with him and his funeral.

Right at the 12 year mark in August, we will be returning to the states again, this time to leave our third child, Grace for college. I am doing a new Precepts Bible study - Joshua (conquering your enemies) right now (I highly recommend it , by the way) I read again about the 12 stones placed in the Jordan river by a leader from each of the 12 tribes … Why?? So that when their children and future generations of their children asked what they meant, they were to remember and tell them of all the things God had done (if you don’t know then read Joshua 4:21-24, so all the people of the earth would know the mighty hand of the Lord and fear the Lord God forever.

I cannot begin to tell you all the Lord has done in my life, my family’s life, and the lives of others we have met along this journey. I have only done 3 lessons, but I already see how the Old Test and the journey of “the sons of Israel” and mine match up (at least spiritually speaking) I can tell you briefly that He has fought lots of enemies (seen/unseen), He has loved me without fail, shown grace /forgiven me, and given me grace to forgive, He has rolled away His reproach from me, dried up waters before me so that I could walk across on dry land (protection and provision) He has given me peace, wisdom, kept all of His promises, allowed me to see His mighty hand at work, and through every trial, He has never forsaken me. He is my life, my shield, my protector, my redeemer, my defender. He wants to be that for every person He created. I pray that every person reading this has begun the journey, and remembers to pass on all the Mighty hand of the Lord done in your life to your children/others.

1. Creation (my birth)
2. Slavery (recognize and admit I was born a sinner, a slave to sin)
3. Liberation (accepted Jesus death as payment for my sin, repent and believe at age 12-- there is that number again )
4. Journey (study, pray, grow, persevere, obey, love, serve, give, live for Him, tell others)
5. Taking possession of the land that God promised (eternal home in heaven with Jesus, my Jesus)

A "Gem" of a site

2011-01-27T17:31:00.003+09:00

Found a gem of a site today, I am enjoying checking it out:

http://www.gracegems.org/

I cant personally say I have read/and or agree with everything on there, but like what I have read so far.

I especially like the "family section"

Here is one gem I found there today, that I particulary like and totally agree with:

How to Make a Child into a Delinquent in 12 Easy Steps

(This list is thought to have been prepared over fifty years ago by a police captain.)

1. Begin at infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

2. When he picks up bad language, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute.

3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one, and then let him "decide for himself".

4. Avoid using the word "wrong". It may develop a guilt feeling. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around: books, shoes, clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.

6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized—but let his mind feast on garbage.

7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your child. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.

8. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?

9. Satisfy every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

10. Take your child's part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are prejudiced against your child.

11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him!"

12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.

check it out and tell me what you think ??

DO YOUR KIDS RESPOND TO THE REWARD SYSTEM ??

2011-01-13T15:34:00.007+09:00

Recently I have been filling out medical questionairres for our insurance.

I have been accused of being sarcastic, and I admit to it sometimes, but really, some of those questions.

One question asked if our children (under behavior) respond to reward system. I didnt know whether to mark yes or no WE DONT USE THE REWARD SYSTEM. more on that later. So I initially put yes, then there was a drop down explain what rewards they respond to. I thought about marking no, but then that might imply that our kids are rebellious.

So in the drop down box, I proceed to explain that we do not use the reward system, whatever that is...

Our children are expected to obey and live by our family rules, and when they dont there are consequences to their disobedience, not reward for when they obey.

We have raised them in a Christian home with Jesus as the head and the Bible as our instruction book and expect them to live accordingly.

Their reward for living a life pleasing to the Lord will be in heaven. Of course we catch them doing right and tell them we appreciate them, give them lots of hugs, smile at them, laugh with them, just because etc..We give them words of encouragement and notes of appreciation. They know we feel blessed to have them and know we love them.

So days later i cant get it off my mind. do people really "reward" their children for expected behavior?

Where have I been for the last 45 years???

BEING A PART OF OUR FAMILY/GODS FAMILY IS THEIR REWARD: They have beds, clothes, food, love, shelter, respect, work ethic, grace, guidance, family vacations, fun, ministry opportunities, education, support, listening ears, forgiveness and they get to be apart of a family. As a part of that family they are expected to clean up after themselves, do what they are told when they are told, do their school work, homework, treat each other wirh respect and live the way the Bible teaches us to etc...THEY SHOULD CONSIDER IT A PRIVILEGE TO BE PART OF A FAMILY. I KNOW I SURE DO.

AND THEY DONT GET PAID FOR CHORES or GET AN ALLOWANCE EITHER... we give them what they need when they need it and give them some things they want when we have extra money if we feel it is something that won't corrupt their minds/bodies. We also dont withhold what they need as punishment. We are expected to meet their needs as parents. They get gifts on their birthdays and gifts and Christmas and sometimes we just give them extra blessings (not because of behavior) just because we love them. If they earn money while still in our home, or get money from people as gifts or us, we still approve what they buy or spend it on... kids dont have to have an allowance and be paid to do chores to grow up learning about finances or how to manage money, tithing, giving. Those things are better caught than taught. We also have life management classes and economy classes for better understanding for their future.

REMINDS ME OF A FUNNY JOKE MY UNC TOLD: LITTLE BOY TO MAMA: Mama, if i be good will you give me a dollar? MAMA: Son, why dont you be good for nothing like your daddy. OH GO AHEAD AND LAUGH YOU KNOW ITS FUNNY

BACK ON A SERIOUS NOTES, WE PARENTS SHOULD REALLY EVALUATE AND NOT TRY SO HARD TO BE FRIENDS AND COUNSELORS AND STOP COMPENSATING WITH MONEY AND TOYS, FOR LIFE JUST BEING HARD SOMETIMES, AND PARENT WITH BOLDNESS AND GUTS.

MAYBE THAT IS WHY ALOT OF PEOPLE "SIGN UP" FOR CHRISTIANITY EXPECTING GOD TO FINANCIALLY/PHYSCIALLY BLESS THEM FOR DOING RIGHT, AND NEVER REALLY UNDERSTAND THE GOSPEL. THEN SO QUICKLY WALK AWAY FROM HIM, OR DONT GET THE REWARD IN HEAVEN SYSTEM. WE GET FORGIVENESS FOR OUR SINS, INSTEAD OF PUNISHMENT. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE PART OF HIS FAMILY FORGIVENESS FOR SINS, FELLOWSHIP WITH HIM ETERNITY IN HEAVEN IS ENOUGH FOR ME. JESUS IS MY REWARD, I WANT NO OTHER.

BGEA: Billy Graham's Prayer for the New Year

2011-01-01T00:45:00.000+09:00

BGEA: Billy Graham's Prayer for the New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Living Generously

2010-12-18T09:29:00.021+09:00

We shared Thanksgiving again this year with the Stremetski family. We have been friends with them since the day we arrived in our city over 3 years ago. It was one of those Godly things. You know, when you meet someone and hit it off right away. It's like we have known each other all our lives. We have so much in common it is amazing. They are Russian we are American. They are some 10 years younger than us. They have 7 of their own children, we only have 4 of our own (with sasha now, makes 5, hee hee). Volva and Michael are great friends, and Sveta and I are too. Grace is really good friends with their daughter, Caleb is really good friends with their son.

This was the 4th Thanksgiving we have had them in our home with all the traditional American holiday foods, and we spend every Christmas eve in their home, with all the traditional Russian holiday foods.

Sveta was saved from a life of going from one bad relationship to another searching for love in all the wrong places. Volva was saved from a life of drugs, alcohol and violent gangs. He watched many of his friends grow up to go to prison or die. Neither of them had one Christian that they knew from their family or friends. Through amazing miracles and divine appointments, God sought them and they sought Him and they were saved. They have been believers now for about 14 years. He has been the pastor for about 5 years now. They love Jesus, love people, love the lost, love His Word and love their 7 children that the Lord has given them. They have 4 sons and 3 daughters, ages 5-21. the youngest three are boys ages 5, 6, and 8. The children are beautiful, well behaved and the most loving people you would ever want to meet. They are looked at very strangely in our city and maybe even by the world, because they have so many children. You see, there are still people in the world who have hope in Him, who feel that children are a blessing from the Lord, a gift from Him and dont see them as a nuisance or burden, who realize that providing a loving Godly home is more rewarding than a materialistic home filled with things, money and alot of times strife.

We live in a city of about 300,000 people with some low rise apartment buildings and alot of single/double dwelling homes (mostly old log home styles) There are even some log/wood apartment buildings (with outhouses) Like most of our friends, they live in a small wooden house about 900 square feet. It is heated by coal or wood and someone has to feed the Pechka ( like a wood heater closed in by brick/concrete) continuously to stay warm. They have no running water in their home. They have to fill water jugs/cans/barrels from different places around the city for their water. They have a well for water for washing/cleaning. They heat their water for cleaning and cooking. They use an outdoor toilet, and have a banya, sort of like a sauna (bath house where they heat water/stones) and go there for their thorough bathing. They grow their own vegetables and can them for the winter. Like most homes, they have a podvalka (cellar) to store their potatoes, cabbage and carrots etc...

REGULAR APARTMENT

USUAL SINK IN HOME WITH NO RUNNING WATER

EXAMPLE OF A CELLAR

WOODEN APARTMENT

WOODEN HOME

PECHKA
HOW THEY HEAT THEIR WOODEN HOMES AND WHERE THEY COOK

FILLING WATER JUGS; TYPICAL OUTHOUSE; CHOPPING WOOD FOR PECHKA

THE STREMETSKIS ARE SOME OF MY HEROES

Last month the Lord began speaking to them about His orphans, and how much He loves them. Last night they welcomed 3 more little boys into their loving home, ages 3, 5 and 6. Now they will have 5 boys home aged 6 and under.

There were 4 little boys 6, 5, 3 and 1. Their father abandoned the mother and 4 boys last year, as he could no longer live with an alcoholic woman. Just a few months ago the youngest little boy died of neglect, so they came and took the other three boys from their alcoholic, neglectful mother.

What a blessing to know such people to add to their 7, 3 more to care for. I called last night to check on them and one of the girls answered the phone and said that mama and papa were reading to the Bible to the little boys to call back later or tomorrow. We will need to add 4 more chairs around the table at Christmas this year, we will have 4 more boys: Our sasha and their Max, Igor and Andrushka.

I tell you, I am crying even now as I type. These little guys are now going to be raised in a Godly home. They are hearing the Bible read to them for the first time, and seeing it lived out for them for the first time. They are in a warm home with food (maybe the home is small and the food is scarce) but they now have a family that will love them and care for them and most importantly teach them about God.

What's our excuse?? Couldnt we all (no matter what age or how much money we make, or what size of home we have) do more ??

I praise you, Jesus, for people like the Stremetski Family who do not look at their ability, but make themselves available to You and are willing to obey You at all costs. Help our family to serve and give out of our poverty and not out of wealth. Help our confidence, security or trust not to be in man, jobs, government or money, or in our case in IMB or Lottie Moon or Cooperative program, but in You and You alone. Help us to hear Your voice and fully, carefully, completely obey no matter what.

Rotten Words

2010-12-17T10:03:00.004+09:00

Ephesians 4:29 (NASB)
"Let no unwholesome (rotten) word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word that is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear."

We are reading through Ephesians as a family right now and last nights reading brought back a childhood memory/lesson that I learned the hard way.

My mother is the God-wisest woman I know. Seriously, with less than 8th grade education (she tells us all the time that though she attended 8th grade it was an absolute waste)It so happens that we homeschool and all our kids skipped 8th grade too haha) Mama grew up in a home with 12 brothers and sisters, during the Great Depression. By the way, she says that they didnt know there was a great depression, they lived the same as they always did.

I am seriously considering writing a book someday of all her sayings and stories of her wisdom. I truly believe she is the wisest woman in the world. I am so blessed that she is my mother.

Ok, back to the story. I was 8 and my brother, Keith, was 10. As best I remember, we were doing chores. On a side note, for all you "modern" readers: In my family, in South Mississippi, we didnt get allowance or get paid for chores. But we did get all sorts of wonderful privileges like food, water, a comfortable home, an education, clothing, bed, to be part of a family, a strong work ethic, responsibilities, and stuff like that. Our "chores" consisted of being expected to do what we were told to do, when we were told to do it, without grumbling, and doing it with a "Yes, Ma'am; Yes, Sir". We often heard, "If it is worth doing, it is worth doing right (everything they told us to do was definitely worth doing), and one of my favorites HAHAHA... "Don't half-a@@ do anything".

On this particular day, Keith and I were told to fill up some empty milk jugs. Our water came from a well/spring and sometimes it froze up, so we always had to have plenty of water jugs. So, we were behind the house where the water faucet is located filling up empty milk jugs. We got into some sort of argument (I can't for the life of me remember what started it, but since he is not here to defend himself, I will take the blame). The argument involved lots of "name callings" some not so rotten, others very very rotten. For several minutes we took turns calling each other names (dirty names). After all was said and done, we went back into the house, best friends again.

Then, to our surprise, Mama sent us to her room to wait on the bed. If you don't know what "wait on the bed" means, you have been deprived. We couldn't imagine what we had done. We waited with great anticipation for what seemed like forever. Then we heard her coming down the hall.

It seems we had forgotten, to our horror, that the window above the kitchen sink (which is always open) is located just above the outdoor water faucet.

We waited for the belt, which never appeared. Instead, the wise woman, told us that she heard all the things we said. She lectured us a few minutes about name calling and how we were supposed to love one another and blah blah blah (no disrespect intended) Then, she did the unspeakable, the unthinkable, the unimaginable. She told each of us to take turns using those same words and call "her" those names, our precious mother. We pleaded and cried for a spanking instead, and pleaded and cried, as the words to our mother, slipped out of our mouths. When she felt we had had enough, she hugged us and told us that if it was that hard to call her those names, it should be that hard to call each other those names. Some lessons hurt to learn. A spanking or tongue lashing (though we often got our share of those) didn't go near as far as that wise discipline.

To this day, I remember the shame. Does the shame make me feel bad about myself or have a low self esteem? NO WAY. It makes me mindful of how words can hurt, can never be taken back, and how we are accountable for what we say. Sometimes, we should just plain be ashamed of ourselves for the things we say to each other, and do something about it !! Another great way to hold our tongues is to imagine the person we respect most hear us talk like that, or getting up in front of a huge church congregation and spouting them out. Kinda makes ya'll want to learn to control that flapper, huh?

Rejoice no matter what

2010-12-16T09:48:00.004+09:00

Going down memory lane to Thursday, December, 9 1993, 17 years ago.

age 28
wife, stay at home mom, awana teacher, youth sunday school teacher, just started studying the Bible for the first time...Precepts Inductive Bible study, Philippians: Rejoice no matter what
3 children: Reagan age 7- 1st grade, Mrs Beeman, Brandon Elementary, Bryan age 4, Grace 8 months.
Michael was a car salesman at Gray Daniels Ford, Brandon, MS
members of Park Place Baptist Church, Brandon/Pearl
just moved to Brandon and rented a home for $500 on hwy 468, near brenmar st, no pets allowed
2 cars
My sister, Vidonia and her family were IMB missionaries in Argentina and had just returned for STAS (Furlough)

A lot of my family (Donia's family, Ginger's family, Keith and his fiance and Mama) came over to our "new/rental" house in Brandon. We wanted to celebrate and give them all a Christmas gift to the chinese restaurant "Shanghi" our treat (good month in car sales) and listen to Christmas music and decorate our tree.

Before we left for the restaurant, Keith switched Grace's shoes around, to tease me and make people think I couldnt even dress a little girl right after 2 boys... haha

After Chinese buffet, the guys went to the boy scout tree farm and bought a really pretty real tree (keith and steve argued over which one, keith won, as usual, Michael didnt care hahaha)

We had such a wonderful night decorating the tree, listening to Alabama Christmas, setting out the beautiful porcelan nativity set my mother gave each of her children (from Avon) Each year they came out with a different piece. She collected 6 complete sets for each of her children. As each piece was placed, the birth of Jesus was read from the Bible. Reagan had just given his life to Christ in July that year, so it was his first Christmas as a believer. He had just learned all the words to Away in a Manger. He was especially sensitive to the Lord and very excited about his new faith, and still at the age that he didnt care what people thought, he praised Jesus wherever he was. As baby Jesus was placed, he knelt on his knees, folded his hands in prayer and bowed his head, and began singing Away in a Manger, as if it was scripted. Of course we all joined in and sang with him. As we were singing, my eyes met Keiths and he had the biggest tears you ever saw, and so did I. It was a special moment frozen in time and in my mind for eternity.

Afterward, Keith made coffee and served everyone, and we sat around and talked and laughed. We even created a tv show idea "Coffee with Ginger" (this was before reality tv, looking back now it would certainly have been a hit). Keith decorated Grace in her stroller with lights and tensil. He also announced his and his fiance's engagement/wedding date for February 14, 1994, that day would never come for him. That night, he asked mama if he could have his nativity set since they were getting married and she agreed. (she told him he couldnt have it till he settled down, or got married and had a home to put it in. It was the last night me and my family would see Keith. He was a great brother, an encourager, a protector, a loyal friend, an amazing athlete: mvp football player senior year, 2nd place state hurdles, scholarship at JCJC football, (most important to my boys, he could jump a whole truck) a servant, hot tempered :), defender of the weak, and loved his family more than anything. I was blessed to have him as an older brother.

It was a magical night, even before I knew it would be my last with Keith.

One week later, December 16, 17 years ago today, a thursday. Vidonia came and shared with our WMU at Park Place, then we went for ice coffee at the mall. Then I did all our Christmas shopping. Returned home with all the loot and was sitting in the floor dividing and organizing (making sure everyone had the same amount of gifts from us and from Santa. I remember the news as playing on the tv in the background and there had been a murder in Brandon in Robin Hood subdivision. I remember saying a silent prayer for the family of the one killed and thinking how sad so close to Christmas. Moments later I would receive the worst phone call of my life from my sister. After she told me that Keith had been killed, I dropped the phone and fainted. The next thing I remember was throwing all the gifts into the closet and going to meet my sister at the brandon courthouse to drive down to mama and daddy's to give them the news in person. The chief of police followed in their car for our safety. We literally prayed out loud together as we drove the 40 minutes. How do wake your parents in the middle of the night to tell them their son's life has been senselessly taken?

The details of how Keith's life was taken by another human being is much too personal and painful to write about. We heard that Keith's murderer lived his last days in Parchman before he died of natural causes in 2005. What a wasted life. We heard a few years later, that the guy who witnessed and testified gave his life to Christ, what a redeemed life.

Through it all, God is faithful, He is sovereign, and He will carry us through anything this life brings. ANYTHING. He will give joy no matter what our circumstances. We can rejoice no matter what. Life is precious, dear and it truly is a Wonderful Life. I pray that you know that whatever loss you (whoever you is) are going through this year, or whatever you might face in your life, He is enough, for this we have Jesus, He will carry you, every day is a new day, His mercies are new every morning. He will give you enough light for the step you are on. I pray that you will trust and praise God no matter what. Don't waste your life. Make it count for Jesus.

My New Russian hat and other such thoughts

2010-12-13T17:34:00.002+09:00

There are some days when one really mustn't blog. I dreamed about nonsense all night. I woke up all stuffy and feeling yucky. Michael gave me a kiss and took Sasha to school. I am not even sure what happened after that. My Gosh/Goodness !! OOPS, IM NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT ANYMORE (sasha thinks im cussing when i say either of those, so i guess i must say something new, like "My, MY" or maybe he is right and I should say nothing at all)I think that is a perfect example of not being a stumbling block. To me it means nothing of the sort and I dont even say it in anger or with any evil intent of my heart or with a nasty tone, but because it bothers him, I will do my very best and ask the Lord to help me change it. On the subject of being a stumbling block, some of our wonderful Russian friends think that playing cards is a sin. They will let their kids play skipbo or uno and other card games but for their own reasons, all are different, they do not play with regular cards. When we had one of our friends stay with us for about 10 days, Michael and I refrained from our hand and foot card playing so as not to be insensitive or a stumbling block to her and her little girl. I guess that means we are not addicted if we can give it up for the sake of someone else.

I fussed at Michael the other day for watching so much football (nothing compared to most American men) Its just that he is rarely home and I was wanting to play hand and foot HAHAHA... anyway he has been so sweet and hasnt watched any in the past few days. So I realized something. The last few days there have been many more dishes than usual. GUESS WHY?

ALL THOSE TIMES HE WAS WATCHING FOOTBALL IN THE KITCHEN, HE WAS WASHING THE DISHES. SO TODAY, I AM UNGROUNDING HIM. IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT OTHERS !!

Anyway, after that, I had coffee, some time to reflect and wake up and watched Christmas tree lights, then got on facebook...BORING...so was I. Made the bed, Helped Grace study, Helped Caleb study, graded papers, washed dishes, swept kitchen, cleaned toilet, put away clothes, heated plof. Now it is almost the end of my day, 6 pm dark outside, grace should be home from volleyball soon, caleb went to the church with his daddy (they took pingpong paddles) Sasha had a meeting to go to. And very rare as it is, I am home alone. I usually like that, but today, not so much. I am still in my jamas, in a fleece hoodie and fleece socks and still cold. I turned the electric heater on for the first time since -30's have set in.

Oh yeah, now I remember what I was going to write about today. I need some advice. My New Russian hat. Michael has been after me to get one for 3 winters. I finally succombed to the pressure (his and the other ladies at church who are afraid i am freezing)

Why I didnt want a Russian Fur Hat:
1. I am from MS, and am not used to hats
2. I dont think look good in hats.
3. I have thin, fine hair that gets electricity VERY EASILY and gets messed up easy
4. I have a small head and hats never fit
5. I dont like stuff touching my head
6. I feel like I am smothering
7. Russian fur hats are expensive
8. I feel dumb in hats (like im being extravagant or something)
9. I hate spending money on myself (always have, always will)
10. I hate trying on stuff and making decisions like buying clothing

as usual, just like in hand and foot, he won, I got the hat after literally trying on every hat in the store (there were like millions) This was Michael and the sales attendants first choice. After about 30 minutes, I tried it on. I was so worn down after all that, I finally asked Michael which was his favorite, we bought it and left the store. Everyone has been so sweet and complimentary and I appreciate it, and I am trying, but I still feel ridiculous in it.

Now he is trying to talk me into a new coat. The one I have was bought used in Moscow for 35 dollars. It is too big and I look like the michelen man in it, but i justify it because it is warm and was cheap. My new hat doesnt match, so I might give in. what do you think ?? Be honest, do you like my hat, and should I get a new coat on next payday ?

What can we give Jesus for His birthday this year

2010-12-08T11:40:00.001+09:00

During one of the 2 one hour long Russian sermons this past Sunday, I sort of zoned out. I must admit that I blocked it out completely and began meditating on how to make Jesus the center of my life, especially during the Christmas season, when we celebrate His birth. I guess i sort of "went shopping" in my mind. I know we all have wonderful family traditions, put out advent calendar, read the Christmas story, bake Jesus a birthday cake, give gifts, decorate, bake, cook and all sorts of fun things, which I ABSOLUTELY ADORE and will continue as long as I have breath in me. I love Christmas and these are all good things that we do. I was personally searching for something more/different for Him this year, for my KING.

Anyway, I was thinking about how I could be and encourage our family to be more intentional at making His birthday more for Him, and not about us, truly celebrating Him, and what He might want or enjoy from us for His gift this year. Here is what I believe He showed me:

# 1 KNOW HIM... He wants us to KNOW HIM this Christmas, to examine our hearts to make sure that we have accepted Him not only as Saviour but as Lord, and recommit our lives to Him anew: to make sure He is the King of our heart/life. Maybe we could set aside time to just be with Him and get to know Him even better. I know on my kids birthdays (and mine), I like to look back at pictures, reflect on how they were at different ages, celebrate different times/memories/accomplishments in their lives. I always want to tell them how much I love them, and how proud I am to be their Mama, and remember things we have done together, and all the things we have gone through (easy and hard) and just remember all the memories. I bet Jesus would like that too. For us to reflect on all He has done in our lives, all the memories we have made together, all the struggles He has brought us through and the joys and even sorrows of the Journey. We dont have pictures, but we do have spiritual markers and "history" with Jesus to reflect on and thanks Him for. If not, it is never too late to start the journey and begin walking with Jesus.

#2 GROW in HIM: Maybe ask Him to show us an area that we are struggling in or weak in and then study His Word, read good Christian books, or listen to online sermons, on the topic. To have focused prayer times over a certain area, or circumstance, person in our life, asking Him to grow us up into more mature followers. Maybe we could just spend some time set aside from the crazy/busy-ness, like He did at times. Just get away from the crowd, fast and pray during the Christmas season. Maybe we could plan to just go sit out in the woods, in the beautiful creation He gave to us, and just quiet place for a little while and ask Jesus to GROW us up some in some specific area, even if it is only for a few hours.

#3 SHOW HIM: We can try to be more intentional to show Him to others by our deeds/words (written and spoken) of kindness, goodness and giving, within our family and just out and about, as we go, and in His name; not our own. Intercede for others, for the lost, for the hurting, for the persecuted. Show love to others, especially those that can never repay or return it... not for our glory but for His (fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, sefl control, patience, kindness, faithfulness) I would also like to add here that He is truly passionate for us, loves us beyond comprehension, and rejoices over us with singing. He finds joy in His children, just like we find joy in our children; watching them laugh, play, enjoy life, and watching their pleasure when they receive gifts. I truly believe He feels the same pleasure only deeper for us. So we should do something fun during the Christmas break; go out and have some fun, laugh, sing, dance and play in JESUS NAME. Plan some special fun times and make some memories. I just have a feeling that our being joyful and grateful in this life pleases our King and makes Him feel pleasure.

#4 SOW HIM (The Gospel): We can find ways in our neighborhood, community, state, to be active and intentional about sowing Jesus this year, spreading the Word, His plan of salvation, hand out tracts or set aside a day to be intentional about talking to people about how much He loves them so much that He died for them, that He will take us where we are in our sins, forgive us and give us a new clean heart; to give us hope and faith that will carry us to the end. how very much He wants for us to live for eternity with Him, and desires Lordship in their lives. We can also take this time of year to give above and beyond to some specific church or mission organization that is serious about sowing the Gospel (JESUS IS THE GOSPEL)

I pray that we can all Know Jesus, Grow in Jesus, Show Jesus, and Sow Jesus more this Christmas,

Have a Merry Christmas, for His glory and love em like Jesus,

Patsy

important info for Christian parents about our kids and internet/tv

2010-11-11T11:32:00.007+09:00

The Grace and Truth Paradox: Excerpts by Randy Alcorn

full excerpts here: http://www.epm.org/resources/2010/Mar/23/grace-and-truth-paradox-excerpts/

Truth, Grace and Media

Parents who wouldn’t dream of letting a dirty-minded adult alone with their children do it every time they let their kids sit and surf channels and access the internet without supervision. There’s nothing new about sexual immorality. But there is something new about the ease with which it invades our homes.

Why do we do this? Because we want to trust our kids, and show them children grace. We don’t want to be known as restrictive, anti-fun or legalistic. We want to be cool parents. The kind that don’t get hung up on rules. Such “grace” is merely parental neglect in disguise.

We sacrifice our children on the altar of appearing cool (which never works anyway). Our children may never recover from this “grace” we’re showing them. In fact, it’s moral child abuse. We should repent of it. Our children don’t need cool parents. They need parents full of grace and truth."

note from Patsy: I would like to add that Satan is a liar and a thief and will stop at nothing to try to seduce us and our children in whatever way he can. Let's encourage and pray for one another that we would not be deceived to his crafty ways. Pray for more Godly wisdom and true love and His amazing grace as we parent. for His glory, Patsy

My 45 th Birthday November 6 Thank you, Mama, for choosing life...Mine

2010-11-06T19:07:00.000+09:00

GRATEFUL

G - GOD IS FAITHFUL. No matter what I have gone through in my life or will go through in the days He gives me on this earth, be it emotional, physical, or spiritual. My God has proven Faithful, He will do it. His Word is truth. He is my beginning and my end, my greatest treasure. His glory fills my life and this earth and the heavens. He is my ALL and ALL. My Faithful Sovereign God, there is no other GOD. He is worthy of all praise. ALL NATIONS WILL DECLARE HIS GLORY.

R - RAISING OUR KIDS ON THE MISSION FIELD. There are no words to express the gratefulness I feel and the privilege to be able to see our children grow in wisdom and stature in Russia: to learn His sovereignty, His faithfulness, His love for them and for the nations, His sufficiency, His protection, and to learn the importance of joyful sacrifice, selflessness, and service for Jesus and telling others about the greatest gift ever.

A – AMAZING GRACE – God’s grace, what an amazing gift, and completely undeserved, and greater than all my sin. Grace for salvation, Grace for sanctification, Grace in our marriage, Grace in our parenting, Grace for the journey, Grace that will get me to the end and lead me home. Where would I be without Jesus. There is no other name , by which I can be saved. At the name of Jesus every knee will bow down. He is my Lord, my Savior, my closest friend, my redeemer, my superhero, and my KING, oh for grace to love Him more.

T – TWO ARE BETTER THAN ONE- GOD HAS GIVEN ME THE BEST FRIEND/PARTNER IN MINISTRY/LOVER. I am so blessed to have been given a man of God who loves Him, me and our children unconditionally, who values commitment, honor and trust, and guards his heart and ours for His service, who takes prayer seriously and prays for me and our children earnestly, who has a passion for the lost and leads by the Word of God, by example, sometimes using words.

E – EVERY GOOD GIFT IS FROM THE LORD. Children are a gift from the Lord. Each one of our 4 children are such blessings, with different gifts, personalities, and beauties. They teach me day by day how to love. Each one brings me joy every day of my life. I am so thankful that the Lord allows me to be their Mama. They help me realize how much joy the Father has in me, his child, and how He cheers me on and rejoices over me with singing. They have been obedient and respectful and most important they love Jesus. I could never ever repay them for the ways they have blessed me.

F- FRIENDS- I HAVE BEEN BLESSED MY LIFE TO HAVE TRUE, ENCOURAGING, AND FRIENDS FROM A YOUNG CHILD UP UNTIL NOW. I am so thankful for all the teachers, pastors, prayer warriors, colleagues, friends the Lord has placed in my life over the years. I have some of the most God-wise friends in the world. They are always there for me to walk through life’s struggles, heartaches and successes and joys. They pray for me and my children, and encourage and spur me on to good deeds. They love me even in my faults, and challenge, inspire, and teach me by example and word to press on and finish well.

U- UNBELIEVABLE FAMILY. THEY SAY WE CAN CHOOSE OUR FRIENDS BUT WE CANT CHOOSE OUR FAMILY (LIKE WE ARE JUST STUCK WITH THEM) I AM HAPPY TO SAY THAT I WOULD CHOOSE EACH ONE OF MY FAMILY. I am blessed to have a mother who lived out God’s Word in her life for me to see. She didn’t have to “preach” at me or cram His Word or church down my throat, because I learned by her example. She just lived a life of love and sacrifice before and for me. I have the most amazing wonderful siblings and their mates and children. They know every single thing there is to know about me, and yet love me unconditionally and wholeheartedly. They encourage and challenge me. They have set amazing examples of strength, forgiveness, perseverance, mercy, passion, compassion, grace, endurance, integrity, obedience, love, steadfastness, commitment, righteousness, tenderness, faithfulness, honor, courage, loyalty protection in day to day living and serving the Lord. (and yes, I was thinking of each of them when choosing those specific words) I have been blessed with wonderful aunts and uncles who have invested in my life. Over 25 years ago, the Lord blessed me with a second family, the most incredible second parents and sisters/brother anyone could ask for, as if bringing me Michael wasn’t enough He sprinkled my life with his family too.

L- LOVE – I have truly been loved my whole life. There has never even once been a doubt in my heart or mind, even in the most difficult of times, that I am loved, by a wonderful Heavenly Father, and my siblings or their families, and my husband and children, and my friends around the world. LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING !

THANK YOU FATHER FOR THE GRATEFUL HEART YOU HAVE GIVEN ME !

A New Creation

2010-05-24T12:06:00.003+10:00

A New Creation

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

Last week, we traveled with the Thommarsons in “Z” Region to visit three of the pastors serving in our region. They invited us into their homes, and we had worship services in each place. While at Deacon Sasha’s home in Town “D”, having a meal together, Sasha’s wife, Lena began telling us to pray for her upstairs neighbor, Dzhenya, age 23, who had just days before killed her drunk husband in self defense, as he almost beat her to death. She is now a widow and has three children. As we were eating, Lena invited her down to visit. She sat with us and ate and we fed her children. Then Sasha and everyone shared Christ with her. She was so scared and really wanted God’s forgiveness in her life. Sasha led her to pray and she repented. She now has a new life in Christ. Pray that God will remove her fear, and that she will begin going to church with Sasha and his family. (photo attached Dzhenya is third from the right)

"Wherever you are be all there" Jim Elliot

2010-05-01T12:03:00.004+10:00

One of my favorite quotes is "Wherever you are be all there." by missionary Jim Elliot. It has meant so much to me over the past 11 years especially in our journey of serving overseas. It is something I have told my husband, my children and myself countless times. I have posted it in emails and on facebook, and shared it with friends. We have even had to remember this in the states when we wanted to be back on the field.

Somedays are just easier to say that and practice that than others, like today.

I am just pure "feeling" guilty today.

...because we are so far away from our boys (newly weds and still in college) at this wonderful exciting times in their lives.

...because we are not there to celebrate Bryan's 21st birthday.

... our parents are getting older and we are nowhere near them.

...because I am not there for decoration Sunday at my family cemetery this weekend.

...because we are not going to see our mothers on Mother's day, or getting to celebrate Michael's parents 50th anniversary next weekend.

...because we will not be at the Puckett family reunion at my mother's or extended one the end of may, not there for new births, graduations, weddings other special extended family events.

and the worst feeling of guilt of all: Guilty because I feel this way, when I know I am right where the Lord wants me and I need to be "all here", and I am just not feeling it today.

The good news, my life has never been, is not and will never be based on "my feelings". Praising Him that His mercies are new every morning, and trusting/believing I feel better tomorrow :) :)

Feelings flow
Feelings come and go
Feelings lie
Feelings die
what matters most is WHO and what I know

1 Corinthians 13:12-13 "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love."

New Year of Poverty

2010-01-26T13:46:00.005+09:00

2009 was a great, crazy year of learning and I expect 2010 to be much more of the same. Prayerfully growing more and more dependent on Christ, seeing more people trust and depend on Him, and seeing more groups of those people joining/serving in local churches, and starting new churches. I began 2009 with major back surgery, and watched our sons marry the women that God chose for their lifemates in June and again in December. We were blessed to celebrate Jesus' birthday in the states for the first time in 6 years with each of our children, and our new daughters in love, and most of our families. I ended 2009 watching a dear young man marry his first love, thinking what a privilege it was to be there, as his mother/my friend celebrated Jesus in heaven. I am more depedent on Jesus again this year than I was the last, and trust nothing less for 2010, as that is my desire.

Alot of people make new year's resolutions, I have never been too much into that. I did have a sweet/bitter talk/ time of fellowship with Jesus when we returned to our city January 8. Sweet: We absolutely love the place here in the Far East that He has brought us to. We are content with the ministry He continues to show us here, and we love the people He has brought into our lives and that we are blessed to serve alongside. Bitter: We love our sons and their new wives, our parents, and other family in and around MS. After 10 years on the mission field, I must admit, the goodbyes get harder and harder, yet the returns get better and better. How can that be? I don't know, but as the youth today are saying so often these days "I'm just sayin..." it does.

As I talked to Jesus the second morning back, I cried out to Him in my confusion, how can it be so hard to leave, so sweet to return and asked the Lord as I do every time we return, "Why do You want us here? I mean sometimes I cant see much good we are doing. I mean I know what Your Word teaches about obedience and following, Lord, You know I understand that. I know that we won't always see fruit and that being here is important for so many reasons, but I just want to ask You, why ?? again today"

I must say I was surprised at His answer to me. I expected it to be the same as in the past, something about obeying/following no matter what, which are all great reasons. I was reading/meditating and praying through Luke chapter 21 when He spoke so clearly to me. I was reading about the widow giving it all. " Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them" Lord, have I put it all in? I have left my homeland, my family, now my sons and their new wives to follow You here. I fell on the ice and had to have back surgery..." I hope you are still following me, as i share what I was saying to Him as I read His Word and asking "why??" I read further: "for they all out of their Surplus put into offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on" I continued on "Ok, Lord I am listening. Everything I have ever given was always out of my "surplus". Well, Lord, teach me what it means to give out of my poverty, all I have to live on. That is when i realized that in my crying out to Him at that moment, I was as poor in Spirit as could be, I was weak, I was completely dependent on Him. That was my answer to why?? I asked and He answered and it was a different answer since ever coming to the mission field.

Lord, why did you bring me here? His answer was as clear as if He were speaking out loud, deep into my heart and spirit: I can be with you here, my Patsy, like you won't let me be anywhere else. In this place you are more dependent on me than any other, you are poorer here than any place else. It is in this place alone, right now in your life, right where I have you, that you can truly give out of your poverty, all you have. WOW. He can be with me here like I wont let Him anywhere else. He desires to be with me that much, to love me that much. And let me tell you it is a sweet fellowship, a sweet place, a place I want to stay, wherever I am !!

I don't know about you and where you are at this year, physically, spiritually or emotionally, but I pray that you will "put in all you have to live on", and out of your poverty (need) not your surplus. That you will be put in places, hard or easy places that will cause you to depend, trust and need Jesus more than ever in 2010. Out of that relationship, He will take you where you need to go, get your through anything you are going through and speak through you to every person He wants to draw to Himself. I encourage you to take the time to read through Luke 21 someday soon.

Lord, let everything You bring into my life this year, lead to an opportunity for my testimony !

Reagan and Robin wedding Invitation

2009-12-03T05:22:00.002+09:00

Thankful

2009-11-23T23:17:00.004+09:00

C.S. Lewis said "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

As Thanksgivng day approaches, I am asking the Lord to make me thankful even for the pain. Right now, I don't have any: my marriage is thriving, our adult children are serving and happy, Grace and Caleb are doing well in school, have friends and are growing in the Lord. Ministry is great. The Lord has given us a wonderful supportive family, and great friends in the states, on the field, and here in our assignment, and has provided us with everything we need and some extras that just plain bring us pleasure. Life right now is good, better than good, great. We are all healthy and all is well with our souls. I truly feel blessed and thankful, because of my circumstances, BUT...

There have been times in the far past, and recent past, and will be times in the near future and far future, when I know, after 44 years of life, that life won't feell/seem great. We all know that our circumstances change: environment/country/situations/relationships/health, can all change at a moments notice. In those times, I want to remain thankful, grateful and feel His blessings. Not just when things are going well. I sincerely want to hear His whisper, His voice, and His shouts to me, in every situation.

About this time last year is when I took my terrible fall and went through more physical pain than I thought I could endure, then back surgery, recovery. I can tell you from experience, that He shouted to me through the pain, and I was listening and hearing His voice over me. He truly does rejoice over us in singing. He is our Great Physician, Our Helper, Our comfort, Our refuge and strength. He does use those in our lives to encourage, love, bear all things, serve and care for us.

I am thankful to you, Lord, I beg You to continue to give me that sense of peace and gratefulness no matter what tomorrow brings. And give me boldness to proclaim Your greatness like a megaphone to the deaf world. I know I can't do it alone, I know more than ever how much I need You, and I desire to hear you speak to me and then through me in whatever physical or emtional pain that You ever allow into my life. Speak Lord, your servant is listening.

House Call

2009-09-09T22:25:00.003+10:00

"Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up His cross, and follow Me." Mark 8:34

We are a part of a small group Bible study which is held in the home of the beautiful elderly lady, Baba Nina, and her husband, Dyed Genady. Her husband is a shut in and because of his health (and sometimes hers), they are unable to get out very often, which is the main reason we meet in their home. Neither of them can hear very so we all have to speak loudly each week. Last week, after our lesson, we were talking about the importance of sharing our faith with our friends/neighbors. The sweet Baba Nina said that she isnt able to go and share much as they have been sick. We all prayed for opportunities and talked about ways to share our faith.

Well here in our country doctors still do house visits, so guess who the Lord brought to Baba Nina's apartment this week? You guessed it a doctor. This is sort of a funny. joyful, convicting story, so I hope you find the joy, humor and even convention intended. She shared tonight that a rather young well educated physician appeared at her door and she invited him in. She said he looked terrible. He made his way to their living/bedroom, the same room, just like ours. He proceeded toward the couch and plopped down, exhausted, and obviously in need of being ministered to instead of ministering. (that was the humorous part)

She began talking to him and her faith in Christ became the center of conversation. She said that he pulled his cross out of the inside of his shirt to show her that he was a "believer". He then asked to see her cross, to which she gave the absolute best answer to this question that I have personally heard or shared in our 10 years in a predominately Orthodox country: "I don't have or need a cross, I am a living sacrifice, dying to myself and taking up my cross in my life every day." She then took a long time to share the love of Jesus Christ and the fear of the Lord, things he had never heard in his life, and sure didnt learn in his years (probably 12) of medical school. She then tried to give him a Bible, where all she had shared was written, but that he was literally shaking from fear by the time she was through, as he realized for the first time in his life that that cross hanging on his neck didn't do or mean anything when he dies and stands before a righteous judge. She saw him shaking and told him there was no need to be afraid, that he just needed Jesus to believe in Him and repent and He would forgive him and take the fear away. He calmed down, took a copy of His Word, and left promising to read it. (that was the convicting part)

Michael was overjoyed and told her that she did a wonderful thing and reminded her that last week she was concerned about who to share with, and that the Lord heard our prayers and that He brought someone to her. (that was the joyfull part)

Dear Dear Friends

2009-09-06T22:24:00.002+10:00

Isnt it wonderful to have dear Godly friends who understand and pray !! below is part of an encouraging note from one such friend today when I asked her to pray for our oldest in the states with Swine flu/ bronchitis :

"I will be praying for Reagan,s complete healing and for protection for all others.

I understand a Mother's heart for her son. You can count on me to faithfully lift him up.

My heart goes out to you ALL. . . .

It's so incredibly difficult when you feel helpless, like there is absolutely nothing you can do.

But then all that energy and love and desperation goes into intercession before the Throne. And that is truly the best and most powerful place to be. More powerful than being by his side touching his forehead because you are asking The Great Physician to lay His Awesome Hand on your son.

Please know that I care very much and am praying."

I Love Saturdays

2009-09-05T10:50:00.004+10:00

I love Saturdays, at least the last few. After homeschooling for the past 15 or so years, I am rarely ever home alone. When the children were small, my dream was always to just be in our home, by myself. Just to clean and listen to music and dance around my house or just be silent. For the second Saturday in a row, Michael, Caleb and Grace have gone to the church to help with the construction/work. Everyone knows I am an extrovert, but I still like to be alone sometimes, so I have really enjoyed it. Maybe I am just getting old. This is also the second Saturday in a row that we have had dinner guests. I love that too. We have lived overseas for 10 years now, and we have people over as guests and go to others as guests a lot, which prompts the question: Do Americans do this anymore, Have people over or go over to other's homes? Because if you don't you should, It is wonderful !!

Baptism Photos July 09

2009-08-20T19:46:00.001+10:00

Baptism Photos July 09

2009-08-20T19:41:00.001+10:00

Antioch Baptism July 09

2009-08-19T14:27:00.003+10:00

We praise the Lord for the 16 people who were baptized in the river on a rainy day in July. We had been praying for one of the couples for almost 2 years with the believing parents. They have two sweet little girls, who will now be raised in a loving Christian home, instead of drinking, partying and fighting. Two of the older ladies are also coming to the small group in GRES, that we have been praying to become a new church. One of their sons repented a few weeks ago. They are already seeing themselves as a church, starting to take up offering, had a "church" picnic, doing evangelism in their area, and now wanting to go to a village 3 hours away to share Christ there. One of the men in the picgtures is a policeman in town. Several of the men were saved in the small rehabilitation center for alcohol and drug addicts. One of the men worked all month out at the camps for children and youth, serving Jesus with a smile every day. When you meet Jesus, your life will never be the same. He loves us and takes us where we are, but He never lets us stay there.

First Day of School

2009-08-17T23:34:00.001+10:00

First Day of school, tiring but great !!!

Grace has always loved school: Sunday School, Homeschool, International School, Russian School. She has always greeted every day of her life as far as I can remember with joy and excitement and finding ways to serve others. She gives it all she's got at whatever she does, and wherever she is, she is all there.

I snuck a picture of her dozing off after class today. She even asked tonight if she could get up earlier tomorrow, so she could get more done, to which the Lord gave me the wisdom to answer "No, you need more rest!"

Lord, thank you for the example of joy, service and giving it all that you show me through my sweet girl. Help me to live my life, with the same enthusiasm, for You and for Your glory. Thank you, Lord that you know what we need when we need it, and that sometimes when we ask permission to do something that seems like a great idea, Your answer sometimes is "No,you need more rest!" Help me to truly learn day by day to rest in You, Lord.

Do Not Fear; Every day of the Year

2009-08-16T11:04:00.005+10:00

I had an afternoon with Caleb recently and it was really fun. We played "Sorry" and I won, and WII bowling and he won. He made me take the WII fitness test and I am officially 37. 5 years younger, whoo hooo. Then i started asking him his "favorites".

favorite color: blue ; favorite book: rifles for waite ; favorite candy bar: kit kat ; favorite restaurant food: Chinese ; favorite fast food: Sonic ; favorite book of the Bible: 2 Samuel , why? because David is in it. So then I asked his favorite character in the Bible: David

This shouldnt surprise me, since he was little he has loved soldiers/army men, war games, History (especially wars/battles) and always said he wanted to be a soldier for Christ. I then asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up: Missionary, what will you major in college then: History Since he was very little, his daddy has read Bible story books to him almost every night of his life, cant tell you how many Bible story books they have gone through. The past 2 years, switched to the Bible. His favorites have always been the Old Testament (Kings, Samuel etc...)

I pray, "Oh that You would say that Caleb has a heart like David's/ YOURS, Lord" Then I got all afraid and thought about David's life, and at times what a mess it was, and how I dont want any of our children taking that path, and actually contemplated if I should pray that. (My grandmother/mother always said be careful what you pray for :) hmmm

So I been thinking and praying about that since our little "favorites" time.

I heard in a movie last night "Do not Fear" is in the Bible 365 times, I don't know if it is true or not, but Caleb quickly said, that is one "Do Not Fear" for every day of the year.

So now, I am reminded to not be afraid to pray that for Caleb, but will add, that he learn from reading David's mistakes/example and have a heart after God's heart (but without all the bad choices)

Reagan is Engaged

2009-08-09T00:13:00.007+10:00

What Excitement !!

We found out one month after Bryan's wedding that Reagan, our oldest is engaged. He and Robin were engaged on his spiritual birthday (as he reminded us). We were so blessed to be able to meet Robin in person when we returned for Bryan and Hannah's wedding. We practically spent the whole month with her, met her parents/family, as she met all of Reagan's (both sides) poor girl !! haha As a matter of fact, the very first weekend, she and I shared a bedroom and giggled, talked and giggled some more till 2 or 3 am; we felt like we had known each other forever, the way it should be.

Reagan is now a senior in college, how can that be?? It seems like yesterday we moved him into his dorm. Well, what am I saying? Wasn't it just yesterday that we left him at kindergarten? Reagan wanted to know when we were going to leave, and when we started to leave, he asked if Bryan could stay and color too, then Bryan cried to stay with Reagan, and honestly, so did I :( Poor Michael, again, if I remember, "it was the way it should be"

When we took Reagan's training wheels off, Bryan cried for us to take his off. The only problem is that he had a tricycle. We never could get him to understand that it wouldn't work without the back two wheels. Reagan actually wanted to put his back on to keep Bryan happy, putting Bryan first, the way it should be.

As most missionaries with children answer God's call to move their families over seas, we had questions: How will they learn the language, the culture? How will we educate them? How will they do without grandparents? How will they cope with goodbyes: family/friends? Will they be ok giving up team sports? Will they ever resent being taken away from everything they know as normal? Will they like the food? How will they meet their future spouses? Will they be ok?

The day we sold and began moving out of our dream house to leave for the mission field (I remember well, June 8 1999, because in the middle of it all, we looked at each other and realized it was our 14th anniversary), I found something in a file cabinet. A second grade journal of Reagan's (written 5 years earlier)in it was a paper he wrote titled something like what I want to be when I grow up. He said that he wanted to be a missionary to guess where?? Russia. When I found it I could not believe my eyes, as it was written 4 years before the Lord even called us to full time ministry, much less foreign missions. The Lord used that to give grandparents peace about our leaving.

Later that day, we told Reagan (12) Bryan (10) that we were giving them one footlocker besides clothes or books to pack with whatever they chose. They could choose toys, memory stuff, sports stuff, pictures, whatever they wanted, even if it was rocks out of the back yard. After a couple hours I went to look in their footlockers, as they were already back outside playing with friends. Reagan had a basketball trophy and Awana Clubber of the year plaque in his, and Bryan had a baseball mitt in his. That brought me to tears.

It was as if the Lord was saying, "They are Mine, and I will take care of them. See, I have already given them My call and they are more content with leaving it all to follow me than you are. I love them more than you do, and I will provide." and He did, He does. His promises are true and precious.

Throughout the 10 years of living overseas, we have prayed for our children in every way every parent does. We have had rough spots, hard times, and hurts and scrapes, personality clashes, butted heads at times, always praying for wisdom, forgiveness, grace and mercy, and so much more...

and His Answer: "It will be the way it should be". He wants us to obey and trust Him, with our lives and if we have children, with our childrens' lives, whether it takes us around the world, or next door, from public school to homeschool (or the other way around) We must listen to His voice, obey, and then allow Him to do what He deems best, not always pleasant, or maybe not even what we think is "safe", and certainly not always comfortable, but always BEST, His Best.

Bryan is Married

2009-08-09T00:12:00.002+10:00

What Joy !! June 6, 2009 Bryan and Hannah were married, what a blessing to be able to travel to Ms, then Georgia to witness, as Russians, and now we would say, "A new family created by God". Why is it that we Americans don't really say that we are a family until our first child is born? How wrong is that?

As Michael reminds me over and over again, this is how it is should be: we give them life, pray over them, guard, provide for and protect them and then let them go out on their own. (all of this knowing only God allows it all, and is giving us everything it takes to do this and His mercy is sufficient when we don't always do it right) But even knowing... knowing Bryan loves God and seeks to serve Him and others, knowing that he prayed and sought the Lord in choosing the perfect mate for him, knowing that he is ok, and that his church family is there, knowing that he is now an adult and independent in every way of us...doesn't in anyway take away the fact that this mama misses her little boy, and though it is "how it should be", and I love my life now and the lives stages/ages of our children now; I still have such mixed emotions, strange emotions, pride and joy, along with missing "the boys" (Reagan and Bryan), and missing the way it "used" to be when all our children were under our roof. And I am really getting tired of counting out 6 of everything...

Even still, I know, though I don't always feel it, that He is faithful, and He will give me just enough light for the step I am on, including seeing me through this night of missing my boys !!!

Favorite Pictures

2009-07-28T00:06:00.001+10:00

These are some of my favorite pictures of my favorite people :)

2009-07-28T00:03:00.001+10:00

2009-07-28T00:01:00.001+10:00

2009-07-27T23:59:00.001+10:00

2009-07-27T23:30:00.001+10:00

Our Inheritance

2009-03-03T16:29:00.002+09:00

Our ultimate Inheritance

February 2 Charles Spurgeon Strengthen My Spirit (daily devotionals) (we mistakingly read February instead of March, I know it was by no accident )

He will choose our inheritance for us. Ps 47:4

“Believer, if your inheritance is a lowly one, you should be satisfied with your earthly portion, for you may rest assured that it is the fittest for you. Unerring wisdom ordained your lot and selected for you the safest and best condition. A large ship is to be brought up the river; now in one part of the stream there is a sandbank. Should someone ask, “Why does the captain steer through the deep part of the channel and deviate so much from a straight line?” his answer would be, “Because I could not get my vessel into harbor at all if I did not keep to the deep channel.” So, it may be, you would run aground and suffer shipwreck if your Divine Captain did not steer you into the depths of affliction where waves of trouble follow each other in quick succession. Some plants die if they have too much sunshine. It may be that you are planted where you get but little; you are put there by the loving Husbandman because only in that situation will you bring forth fruit unto perfection. Had any other condition been better for you, than the one in which you are, Divine Love would have put you there. You are placed by God in the most suitable circumstances. Take up your own daily cross; it is the burden best suited for your shoulder and will prove most effective to make you perfect in every good word and work to the glory of God.”

May we carry our crosses, as HE CARRIES US, in much or little sunshine, in deep or shallow channels, in troubles, in all circumstances, in straight or crooked lines, to bring forth fruit and perfection in us and others,
For His glory, alone.

Don't 'blame' yourself, Let others do it !

2009-02-20T20:15:00.010+09:00

FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES (Caleb STAS 2004)

I wrote this in 2003, before our first STAS:

"It seems the Lord has given me the gift of discernment/wisdom and encouragement. This is not bragging, because to be honest, I don't like "knowing and sensing" things, sometimes it makes me uncomfortable, and for many years, I didn't know what to do with this "gift".

I have become more and more convinced that our "gifts" when not completely under His Lordship can be used in ways that are not pleasing or do not bring glory to the Lord as He intends. When we are not abiding in Him or not filled with His Spirit, the very gifts and talents He has given us can be the very things that cause us to stumble, and not necessarily our "weak" areas. Satan is very crafty, so why wouldn't he try to have victory in our lives in the very area that the Holy Spirit has gifted us with. This obviously catches us more off guard than the areas where we already know we are weak as we are more mindful of them. But our gifted areas, well, now that is another story.

For example, In my own life, it has taken me almost 20 years to figure out that even when I am not filled with the Holy Spirit, and walking closely with the Lord that the gift is still there. I am able to discern certain things in myself and in others, and have all this wisdom, that when unchecked and not anointed can turn into something less than a present, but a critical, holier than thou, condemning, or not so encouraging attitude. Some of you might be thinking, "Patsy doesn't seem like that at all", but then others who know me inside and out are saying, "Yep, that's her, finally she realizes it". HAHAHA But seriously when I am not filled with His Spirit and listening to His voice, this is who I am capable of being, to myself mostly, then those closest to me.

So, what He has taught me, is that when I discern or have wisdom about something, it is an invitation to pray/ intercede not to criticize, condemn, or put down, being discouraging and not encouraging. I went through a time when I thought that it was actually a curse and not a gift, and asked why I had to "know" things. Not long ago, I was speaking with a couple of friends of mine (Teri and Lori) about this very thing, and it prompted me later to go to the Lord about it. So later that evening, I asked the Lord why He gave me that gift. He gave me His answer. He gave me the gift of discernment and wisdom to glorify Him, and to encourage others and criticizing or faultfinding myself or those closest to me does not bring glory to Him, so I continued to ask what I was supposed to do with it. His answer was simple: "Pray". He gave me the discernment so I can go before Him and intercede about the situation, or other people or even myself. Wow. Now this may not be something new for you, but it was life changing for me. The discernment He gives to me (seemingly before my husband or others) is an invitation to pray and encourage, not so I can point it out to myself and others.

So to sum up my little whatever you want to call it, after the Lord showing me this, and I was teaching our youngest, Caleb about bragging one day, after he made an awesome hit playing baseball. I told him that the Bible teaches that we shouldn't brag on ourselves, but to let others do it. A couple of days later, while I was having one of my "faultfinding" moments toward myself, out loud of course, Caleb said, "Mommy, remember what you said the other day, don't "blame" yourself, let others do it." Well, he sort of misunderstood my point, but it was funny anyway. So now whenever I have this overwhelming discernment, I will try to remember to take it to Him in prayer rather than finding fault, and ask Him to show me how to encourage, and not 'blame' myself or others."

I was going through personal notes when I found this and was surprised that it was over 5 years now. With the Lord's help, I have been practicing this, and am amazed at the difference He and prayer, has made in my response to myself and my family members, but I am still so far from being there... I was surprised that it was "so long" ago as it seems like yesterday, but it was interesting to see how the Lord is so loving and gracious and patient with us...I am nothing without HIM...It will be interesting to see the next 5 years,by His grace I pray i will be more conformed to HIM :) Praise the Lord, He is still working on me!!

Prepare the way of the Risen Lord

2009-02-01T15:02:00.001+09:00

Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble

Did you feel the mountains tremble?
Did you feel the oceans roar?
When the people rose to sing of,
Jesus Christ the Risen One.

Did you feel the people tremble?
Did you feel the singers road?
When the lost began to sing of,
Jesus Christ the Saving One.

And we can see that God You're moving,
A mighty river through the nations
Where young and old return to Jesus,
Fling wide you heavenly gates,
Prepare the way of the Risen Lord!

(chorus)
Open up the doors and let the music play.
Let the streets resound with singing.
Songs that bring your hope,
And songs that bring your joy.
Dancers who dance upon injustice.

Do you feel the darkness tremble?
When all the saints join in one song,
And all the streams join as one river
To wash away our brokenness.

And here we see that God You're moving.
A time of jubilee is coming.
And young and old return to Jesus
Fling wide you heavenly gates,
Prepare the way of the Risen Lord!

Jesus Lover Of My Soul

2009-01-07T22:57:00.004+09:00

A couple of things I love to do when I have my quiet times is to take Scripture and turn it into a personal prayer, and (since I don't have our children's gift of singing) to take my old green Baptist Hymnal (1956 edition) given to us by the church Michael pastored in 1999, in Yazoo MS... and go through and read them as my prayer and praise to Him.

Here is the one I stumbled across (yeah right) the Lord led me to today:

Jesus Lover of My Soul (words Charles Wesley (1707-1788)

Jesus Lover of My Soul, Let me to Thy bosom fly.
While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high:
Hide me o My saviour hide, till the storm of life is past;
Safe into the haven guide; o receive my soul at last

Other refuge have I none; hangs my helpless soul on thee;
Leave O leave me not alone, still support and comfort me:
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head with the shadow of Thy wing.

Though, O Christ, art all I want; more than all in Thee I find;
raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick, and lead the blind:
just and holy is Thy name, I am all unrighteousness;
false and full of sin I am, Thou are full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within:
Thou of life the fountain art, freely let me take of thee;
spring Thou up within my heart, Christ to all eternity.

AMEN. (that means let it be in case you didn't know)

I SURRENDER; I CHOOSE JOY

2008-12-28T20:05:00.004+09:00

15 years ago, my brother was killed. At that time, I was learning to study my Bible for the first time in my life. I had just begun Precepts (inductive Bible Study) , and the first study was from Philippians: Rejoice No matter What. I remember telling my friend, Joy, at the time that I was learning so much, but was a little afraid, because I knew that if He was teaching me so much about having joy despite my circumstances, then that meant, that someday soon, my circumstance might change, I would have to not only learn it, but live it. One week later, my brother was murdered. I clung to Him and all He had to teach me through it. He truly lifted me above it all and carried me through. It was a horrible hard time for me and my family, but He truly taught me joy in it, and day by day our family allows Him to heal us.

I have fallen back on that time many times since in other trials and losses, and what He taught me about Himself. He is enough, He is in control, He is faithful. He can be fully trusted. It seems now, He is reminding me again, i must be slow :) I have been in some pretty bad pain for the past 3 wks, due to a fall on the ice. I have experienced many trials and losses in my 43 yrs, but never this kind of physical pain, dependence on others for the simplest tasks. I am asking Him to teach me all He wants to teach me through this and as He always has His way, He is teaching me much, mostly to surrender to Him every area of my life, and choose joy no matter what. I remember Him teaching me out of Habakkuk during that difficult time when my brother was killed, and several times since, and now He is giving it to me once again.

Without pain, of all kinds, shapes, sizes, I don't think we can truly know His joy, so I surrender to it, to Him, and ask Him to give me His strength and His joy, despite my circumstances, and He is. I am content and joyful, and this kind only comes from Him. I just listened to a sermon about Jacob wrestling with God. I found it interesting that God, who could have overpowered and 'taken him' immediately, chose to be gentle and patient until Jacob surrendered. I also found it quite humorous that he finally struck his hip socket (this is where the majority of my pain has been) I am slow, but not that slow haha...

Ok, God I am listening. I am not sure everything you are telling me, but I do want to surrender, to give in to whatever You want for me. I don't want to be at odds with Your plan for me. I know You want everything in my life that I might be clinging to, including our children, our marriage, the ministry You have blessed us with, or any selfish desires or things that so easily entangle me, and I want to willingly surrender them all to You. That is the desire of my heart. Thank you for being gentle and patient with me. Show me Your will and help me to obey You above all else, and have joy in spite of it all. Thank you Lord that even:

Though the fig tree does not bud (though we can't be with family in the states during the holidays)
and there are no grapes on the vines (though there are no new believers/new churches to report)
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food (though we couldn't find turkey or ham over the holidays)
though there are no sheep in the pen (though our children are becoming more independent and growing up and leaving home)
and no cattle in the stalls (though I am in physical pain and unable to do all I want to in serving my family)

(that even if You don't provide a way for us to stay in this place You have brought us to, knit our hearts to and given us such an amazing ministry in...)

yet I will rejoice in the Lord
I will be joyful in God my Savior
The Sovereign Lord is my strength
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer
He enables me to go on the heights

Habakkuk 3: 17-19 (italics mine)

May the joy of Christ be ours this Holiday season.

Joyful Christmas and Joyful New Year to all as we all learn what it means to truly surrender to Him, and choose joy.

LOVE IS ....

2008-12-18T15:45:00.006+09:00

Love IS: I was the youngest of six children and we lived in a 3 bedroom house, there were 4 girls and 2 boys, and i was the youngest. My oldest sister married when I was 7, which left 3 girls. My older two sisters shared a room, with a small bed and i got the couch in the den...every night, i would get up in the night and wander into their room and one or the other would scoop me up and put me in the bed with them. I just loved that, made me feel all cuddly and snuggly. They sacrificed, they gave up their own comfort that's what love is.

Love is...a husband going all over the city looking for a heating pad, because he feels it will help his wife's back, when he himself has a cold.

Love is...a 6th grader washing and peeling and cutting potatoes while watching his Bible class DVD, without being asked, because his mother can't sit in a chair.

Love is...A college student setting aside money for Lottie Moon Christmas offering.

Love is...A grandmother hanging mistletoe in her house for her grandson and new fiance to find.

Love is...Brothers going to a nursing home to give out fruit.

Love is...a husband leaving his new wife, to serve our country in Iraq, missing all the holidays with her and his family.

Love is...a teenage age girl making her little brother hot chocolate because he is having a long day of school.

Love is...a grandson and his fiance spending the weekend with Mamaw, helping her drag out all her decorations/tree and decorating the whole house with her.

Love is...a church, supporting their pastor when he was not able to pastor for 3 months because of an accident.

Love is...a cosmetologist cutting cancer patients hair or styling wigs for free.

Love is...A grandmother going all over the place to look for a certain game for her grandson overseas, and she has an eye infection.

Love is...a wife showing amazing courage, strength and faith in her husbands accident and as he continues to recover.

Love is...A niece going to be with a widow on the anniversary day of her son's death, taking her to the cemetery to put out Christmas flowers, and spending the night with her, so she wasn't alone.

Love is...a pastor's wife teaching Bible studies at the nursing home.

Love is...a group of RA's making bird houses to sell for Lottie Moon Missions offering.

Love is...a sister giving a massage, pedicure, manicure, hair cut, the day before her sister returns to the mission field.

Love is...A brother buying his sister a plane ticket so she could spend thanksgiving with his family and their mother.

Love is...a note, a smile, a prayer given at just the right time by a special friend.

No matter what your love language is or how you show or know love, the fact of the matter is that LOVE IS SACRIFICE, LOVE IS GIVING, LOVE IS PUTTING OTHERS BEFORE OURSELVES, LOVE IS FREE, BUT IT ALWAYS COSTS.

LOVE IS...GOD GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE...

IDENTITY

2008-12-10T23:42:00.003+09:00

Identity

I have spent a lot of time lately learning and teaching Grace about identity. To sum it all up: If we place our identity, or our security in any thing or anyone (even good) that can be taken or stripped away, then we will always be on the edge of a false identity or security, as there is nothing that this world has to offer that will give us a true identity or security, besides Jesus Christ.

Just a few things that we can place false identity or false security in:

success
numbers (fruit counting)
Man's praise
Physical appearance
Talents
Ministry/Service
Gifts
What others think or say
Athletic abilities
Church
Job Title or occupation
Speaking gifts (including language)
Roles: Being a mother, wife, missionary
Nationality
Freedom (religious or otherwise)
Academic abilities or knowledge
Wealth
Government
Our family (parents, children, parenting etc...)
A pastor or leader
Material possessions

Every one of these things and I am sure many more, can be stripped or taken away, or disappoint and let us down, at any given season in our life, and leave us on a false edge of security.

JESUS. He will always remain, He is faithful, we can place our security and identity in Him, He can be trusted. He is faithful. He will never leave us or forsake us.

He is who He says He is, and we are who He says we are.

Lord, please help me to find my identity in You and You alone. Help me to truly be thankful and content with who I am in You. Help me to see any talents, roles, job titles, gifts, people etc., and even trials in my life as opportunities to tell others about You, and to bring glory to You, not to give me my identity, so that if and when i am stripped of everything, I will be content with You, Lord. You are worthy and you are enough.

Where's The Beef

2008-12-02T10:22:00.007+09:00

It is December 2nd, I can't believe it. Reagan and Bryan will be here in just 19 days and we are all so excited.

I thought I would post a picture of what I saw out my window the other day. We live in an apartment building with only 10 floors as opposed to 21, where we living on the 20th floor. Now we live on the 2nd. It is so much better because there is a soccer field right in front. Caleb can go out and play and I can see and yell at him through the window. (not like yell at him, but for him to come in) haha... Anyways, Caleb came running into the Living room the other day and said that we had to go and look out the Kitchen window. So we all went running. There was a man getting a whole side of beef out of his trunk and hanging it by a rope. People were coming from every direction to get their cuts. I wish I had thought to get a picture right then. I did remember and got this one instead, this was after someone had chosen theirs and had their ax, cutting it smaller to take inside. Anyway, i thought it was pretty neat and thought you might think so too.

Tithing Taters

2008-11-30T23:29:00.006+09:00

Left: village life

Michael got to go out to the village to preach again today, after our regular service from 10:30 to 2:30. I was disturbed after hearing about the frantic shoppers....black friday or something like that, I call it greed and discontentment...they got the black part right...but now after Michael's story today, I am encouraged and blessed. We had the privilege to see something we had never seen, and rarely hear in the news: giving, not taking, sacrifice and not greed. The people in the villages here in Siberia, in our region, are poor, most don't have an income, only the vegetables they grow. For the second time this month one of the believers tithed their potatoes to the Lord and sent them by Michael back to the church. Lena's husband, Velodya: like Nina's husband, Dima a couple of weeks ago, who are not yet believers , loaded 4 huge bags of potatoes into the van, joyfully. Oh Lord, make me more content, more joyful, more giving.

"You say, 'If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.' You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled." C H Spurgeon

UNCLASPED HANDS

2008-11-22T13:45:00.001+09:00

Our family spent most of July, Aug, and Sept in the U.S. We were privileged to share in 15 Southern Baptist Churches of our past year's service in Siberia. We left our second oldest, Bryan,for college, celebrated with our oldest, Reagan, in his full time surrender to Christian service, and in Bryan's engagement, enjoyed a second honeymoon-a Christian cruise, held and beheld a beautiful and a handsome new great niece and nephew (and another coming soon), enjoyed alot of family time, reunited with old friends, made new friends, and endured 2 of the hardest heart aches of my life: losing my dear friend, Teri, very unexpectedly, and seeing my brother in law, Steve, my sister, Donia and their children endure a life threatening accident, Both of which have changed my life. It was hard to leave my mama, after losing my daddy just a year ago, and to leave our two oldest sons there in college, but I left them and they sent us with unclasped hands.

Oh, Lord, give me unclasped hands which symbolize my willingness to receive all You choose to give, and give up all You choose to take, receiving and giving, as an act of worship and praise to you.

In Memory of my sweet dacha sister chick, Teri Tarleton, July 4, 1959 - July 28, 2008, who lived a life of unclasped hands.

Even the fairest of petals must fall.

"See the flower in maturity. The calyx hands have unclasped utterly now. They have folded themselves back, past all power of closing again upon the petals, leaving the golden crown free to float away when God's time and wind come." Lilias Trotter (Parables of the Cross / Parables of the Christ Life)

Where does my help come from? Psalms 121

2008-11-22T09:18:00.002+09:00

Psalm 121: 1-7

I lift up my eyes to the hills– where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip– he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you– the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm– he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.